It Started With A Dare

It’s been almost two weeks since I last spoke to Gerard, probably the longest I’ve gone since I first met him. I was still hurting from what he did, and although he’s tried approaching me in the halls at school many times to apologise, I’m not ready to face him yet.

People have begun to notice my dejected behaviour, especially Bob. He’s asked many a time why I’ve been so miserable lately but I refuse to give him a straight answer. Damien’s been helping me try to get over it and actually think it through, to decide what I want to say to him when I have to; I know I won’t be able to avoid him forever.

I was currently sat in math class, unable to concentrate; I’ve been having that problem a lot lately. My hand held my chin as my elbow rested on my desk, gaze locked on my binder where I was doodling flowers where my notes should have been.

I hate to admit it, but I really do miss Gerard. It even crossed my mind to just say that I forgive him, even if I didn’t, just so that he could hold me in his arms again; it was beginning to get rather pathetic.

The sound of the bell ringing ended the lesson, I automatically stood to my feet, scooping up the binders on my desk and shuffling out of the room. It was now time for lunch, so I headed down the hall in the direction of the cafeteria, but I was soon stopped in my path. A hand gripped my upper arm and tugged me inside of the classroom to my left.

“… the hell?” I huffed, turning to face my attacker.

“I’m sorry; I just really need to talk to you.” He pleaded, taking a step forward.

“Well I don’t want to talk to you.” I snapped at him, taking a step back.

“Please Cassie; just let me explain what happened.” He sighed.

“I know what happened, and I’d rather not hear a repeat of it,” I said, spinning around to head for the door, but Gerard was faster. He stepped forward and blocked the only exit of the empty classroom. “Gerard, move.”

“Not until you let me explain.”

“Fine.” I sighed.

“Okay, well first I wanna say that I couldn’t be more sorry, I didn’t mean to do what I did, I’d give anything to just take it back, but I can’t. And if it’s any consolation, I didn’t kiss her, she kissed me.”

“Why didn’t you just push her away?” I asked in a whisper.

“Believe me, I tried, I really did. But I was just so shocked and confused that I was almost frozen, like- I don’t even know,” He explained, placing a hand on my shoulder “You’ve no idea how much it broke me inside to see you cry, knowing that I caused it.”

“You really hurt me, Gerard.” I said, leaning into his touch.

“I know, and I can’t say I’m sorry enough times to make up for what I did. Can you forgive me?” He asked me, his beautiful hazel eyes staring deeply into my own icy blues. I quivered slightly under the intense gaze, wanting nothing more than to crawl under a rock for the rest of my life, just to avoid those eyes, yet I couldn’t look away. He had me trapped beneath his gaze, unable to move, unable to think clearly, and I’m pretty sure I almost forgot to breathe for a moment.

“Just … forget everything else for a minute, its all miles away, it’s just you and me. I want us to go back to the way we used to be, when I could be completely content with just holding you in my arms, just knowing that you’re there with me. Nobody else, just you and me.” He said, his voice soft and gentle, the sound floating through the air and teasing my ears as he stepped forward, and this time, I didn’t step back.

I surrendered to the feeling of his arms hesitantly slipping around me waist, instantly I felt secure in the embrace, stepping closer and laying my head on his chest, my arms draping around his stomach. My ear was met with the sound of his heart thumping beneath his chest, the steady beat more erratic than usual, as if he was scared. His scent soon hit my nose, the comforting aroma helping me to relax and clear my mind.

Should I really forgive him, after what he did? His words were so tempting, the picture he was painting in my mind enticed me, wanting just what he was describing. Just me and him, here alone, nobody else around to make it more complicated, wanting the simplicity of just the two of us together, the way it used to be.

“Please Cassie, I love you.” That was pretty much my breaking point, the sound of his voice as he said it, so defeated and … broken. I shut my eyes, trying to concentrate on my response. He really did seem genuinely sorry for what he’d done, and I understand that it was only partially his fault, but I don’t think I can make a decision just yet.

“I’ll think about it.” I mumbled, lifting my head up from his chest to look up at him. A small smile broke out on his face, his grip around me tightening ever so slightly.

“Thank you, Cassie.” His chin rested atop of my head as it rested back on his chest. We stood there in our embrace for what must’ve been ten minutes before Gerard broke the silence that had consumed us.

“Erm, does this mean I can kiss you?” He asked tentatively.

“I think I can allow that.” I responded, trying to suppress a grin as I looked up at him. He then leant down, capturing my lips with his for the first in the longest time. I couldn’t help but to smile into the kiss, the comforting feeling washing over me as I leant against him. The kiss didn’t last long, but that didn’t matter, we pulled away and I gazed up at him before shifting my gaze to the floor, shaking my head a little.

“This is unfair.” I muttered, knowing that if he kept up like this that I’d just forgive him anyway.

“I know.” He responded with a small smirk. I shoved his chest playfully before he leant down and reattached our lips.