As the Leaves Change in Color

So, getting kicked out of Walmart. Sounds fun, huh?

Frank and I walked around the whole store, waiting on an opportunity to mess with the cameras. I got whistled at by creepy old men and then their wives smacked them. The whole thing was pretty hysterical. But of course, I couldn't laugh, or talk. Because if I did, that would've just ruined everything.

I walked hand-in-hand with Frank the whole time, as he was being my "boyfriend" for the moment. I really, really hate to admit this, but.... I kind of liked that. Him holding my hand, I mean. It gave me a sense of comfort, one I had only felt with Bert.

And the relationship troubles and the angst are back. It's enough to drive a poor boy insane.

Just to add extra, I even tried to flirt with a few men. It was hilarious, because I couldn't talk at all. I'd just make a point to smile and wave, and wink, and stare at their junk. I swear, one of them got a little "excited". If you can catch my drift.

Oddly enough, Frank didn't find that too funny. Was he acting... jealous? Nah, that's not it at all. I mean, geez. The day that Frank Iero decides he likes me is the day that Hell freezes over.

Or maybe not...?

Ugh, it just gets worse and worse. What would Bert think of me if he could read my thoughts? And then, a grim thought occured to me. Bert isn't here to read your thoughts, dumbass. You don't even know if he'll ever come back.

So, I decided to do the rest of the dare to just to get out of there. Besides, the perverted old men were starting to give me the heebee jeebees. Or however you spell that.

There I was, thinking of a brilliant scheme to distract some people, while Frank jacked up the big camera. And then it hit me!

I whispered Frank my plan, and he smiled, and I went to work. Just because I'm a genius and all that. This was my plan:

I got a pencil and a sheet of paper out of a purse that I was carrying. Don't ask where I got the purse. Some things are better when you just don't know them. Anyways, I took out the paper and pencil and started writing down some things.

I wrote, "Excuse me, sir, but can you help me find the tampons? Normally, I'd just ask someone, but I just had surgery on my throat, and I'm not supposed to talk..."

Then, I handed it to the guy that headed all of the cameras the paper. He read it, then smiled at me with this creepy smile. Geez, man. This place was full of perverts. I mean it. I don't see how women made it around here. It kind of made me feel sorry for them all. Even the ugly ones. Not that I have anything against ugly people, as I believe I'm ugly myself.... But ah, I digress....

"Come on, young lady. They're right down through here...." Hmph. The guy didn't even make a comment about the surgery I just had. The nerve of some people....

As he was walking me towards the tampons and other "feminine items", Frank got to fix the big camera to show where I was, and the little camera to show where he was in the store. I saw him dancing around like a monkey with a horrible itch on his behind, and couldn't help but start laughing.

Then I took a run for it.

Before the guy registered what was going on, I was back in the camera room/place thing, stripping off all my clothes. And yes, it was in front of Frank, too. I didn't care, though. I just wanted to get this done.

And then, there was laughter all throughout the building. Yup, I was definitely getting kicked out. But, before I could, I shot a look at Frank, and bolted out of there like a bat out of Hell.

Needless to say, I think that'll be the last time I'll be seeing Walmart in a while....