Out of Darkness

“Did you get a letter from her?” Shinya asked as soon as Die walked into the studio, holding a black envelope with white address stickers.

“Yeah, here.” He nodded and handed off the letter before grabbing his guitar.

“What’s wrong?” Kaoru demanded instantly, making Die sigh and shake his head.

“You’ll know after you read the letter.” He frowned and started playing random things to get his mind off of her situation.

“Die, I can’t apologize enough for not sending any replies to you, or the rest of the guys. Please pass my apologies to them, as well. I haven’t gotten any letters until now, except for the first one that day. I didn’t mean to worry anyone. My parents have been taking the mail as soon as it is delivered, and apparently removing anything addressed to me. They throw it away before even opening them.

“My brother brought this one to me. He is sitting beside me, teasing me over your letter since he read it before I did. He thinks that we are a couple! I laughed when he started teasing me about our ‘relationship’. I hope you are all doing all right, I think I would feel better to know that everything is well for you. I would rather you all have a great life, than think of improving my situation here.

“My family is having some problems, but I’m sure it will all work out somehow. Don’t worry about me; I’ll be all right.

“To answer your questions in the letter: I’m all right, Brandon has been bringing me some food home when he visits. Achilles is still on my bed, but I’m worried that it won’t be much longer before he is gone. I don’t sleep much, but I don’t really need to; I’m not using any energy sitting on my bed in silence.

“I make this all sound so terrible, though. It isn’t as bad as it sounds, I promise you! I’m even smiling as I write to you. Have a wonderful time when you travel next! I would ask for pictures, but I can’t look at them. Write me and describe it all! Sometimes I can picture it in a way, if enough details are included.

“Have a great day! Thank you again, and pass my thanks to the others. Signed, Victoria.” Shinya read.

“She hasn’t eaten in over a week, then! Only small things her brother brings her! What kind of family would let her live like that?” Toshiya demanded as soon as his friend finished reading the letter to everyone.

“She said that they are having problems at home. Perhaps it is something to do with that, we don’t know. All we can do at this point is to write to her, and hope she receives our letters.” Kaoru sighed.

“Or I could write a letter to her parents.” Kyo muttered.

“That will make things worse for her.” Shinya reminded while passing the letter off to Kaoru and resting his head on his hands. ]“She has Toshiya and Die’s numbers, if something happens she would call, right?” he asked.

“I don’t know. She seems to think that we would forget about her after a while, and everything would go back to the way it was if we had never met her. Maybe she is afraid to call.” Die answered.

The others nodded their agreement and sat quietly for a while before getting to work on their recordings.

While the guys got to work in the studio, Tori continued to sit on her bed silently, staring off into nothing, since that was all that she could see. Brandon had brought her another meal bar, and bottle of water to keep her alive, as well as some fresh clothes and a bag of her favorite candy for comfort food. The more she sat in silence, the more his brotherly love for her showed until he became like a nurse, sitting on the side of her bed silently with her, just so that she had some company and wasn’t alone. Often when their parents weren’t home she would cry on his shoulder, but she wouldn’t dare let THEM hear her cry. She wasn’t going to break in front of them.

“Seriously, Sis, you’re not doing very good. You look like hell, you’re losing weight, your skin and eyes are funky, and you haven’t walked anywhere other than to the bathroom and back in over a week! This is ridiculous!” He snapped, sighing heavily as Achilles made a sort of groaning noise and stretched across the bed, nearly pushing him off.

“Where do I have to walk to? I’ve never been able to choose where I go. If I want a concert, THEY take me to a classical orchestra. I want to hear what you hear, Brandon. I want to feel what you get to feel when you see these bands! I want to experience that freedom that you talk about, to just scream and let go of everything, and not worry about anyone listening, because they’re screaming too! I don’t care if I get hurt, I WANT to be pushed around, and bruised! I want to FEEL! Right now, I’m numb, Brandon. That’s all I can describe it as… when you’re sick you can look out the window and see the world. My eyes are broken; I see the world by feeling, and hearing, smelling, tasting! I can’t just look through the closed glass and know. I have to BE IN IT! And I’ll never have that.”

Brandon just sighed and leaned his head down into his hands.

“Can I ask you to do me a favor?” she asked quietly after a while.

“Whatever you want, Tori. We may fight, but when shit goes down you know I’m here for you.”

“I want to borrow your Dir En Grey CD. And some earphones, so they don’t hear the music.”

“You’re into that stuff?”

“Yeah, why do you think I’m so jealous that you get to go and hear THEM instead of their recorded sounds?” she laughed.

“Yeah, I’ll bring the whole collection for you. And… uhm… listen, I broke it off with that girl a couple of days ago… if you don’t get mad at me for being so protective over you, I think I can sneak you out of the house to see them in two weeks when I go. We’re not getting close to the stage, though.”

“You’d really take me to see them?” she gasped excitedly.

“Yeah, I will. Just… you can’t get pissed when I’m pulling you everywhere. You can’t see what’s going on; you’ll get squished.”

“Brandon, I can’t believe this! You’re really going to take me with you?!”

“Yeah. But we’re staying in the back of the crowd! I don’t want you crushed.”

“But you won’t be able to see anything from back there! I can stand in the back, but you should go up and see the band. You love them!”

“Not as much as I love you.” He sighed, laughing lowly when she hugged him tightly, nearly squeezing the air from his lungs.

“I’m taking off. Dad’s home, but I’ll be back in a couple of days. Do you need any food up here before I bail?”

“No. Have fun Brandon. Thank you.” She smiled and sat silently as he left.

As the days passed her parents continued to take the letters from her friends and throw them out. She had only gotten two more letters over the next two weeks. One from Kyo, and another from Toshiya. Her brother watched her write her reply to Toshiya’s letter, so she couldn’t say anything personal, but to make it look better to Brandon she made sure to add a very excited paragraph about the concert her brother was going to bring her to. Kyo’s letter came second, and told her to be sure to get there very early so that they could get her a safe place to hear the show, and have some time to see her before they went on. Brandon had no idea that his sacrifice to stand in the back of the crowd with his sister, was about to get him back stage to meet his favorite band.