Kisses Under Starry Night Skies

"Oww, fuck." Alex yelled as I dabbed antibacterial fluid over his cheek where Jack busted it open.

"That'll teach you to get into a fight." I smiled at him, dabbing his cheek again. Alex winced.

"You love this don't you?"

"What?"

"Hurting me?" Alex said.

"It has its ups." I shrugged. "Wow, he really hit you hard."

"Yeah, I didn't know he could hit that hard." Alex sighed.

"Oh, poor you." I sighed sarcastically.

"You know what would make me feel better?" Alex said leaning his forehead on mine.

"And what's that?"

"This." He said and leaned in to kiss me.

"No, Alex." I said putting my finger over his lips. I walked into the kitchen and put everything away.

"Wait. So, one minute you want to have sex with me and the next you're telling me to stop." Alex said getting irritated.

"You what?" Zack said walking into the kitchen.

"Great." I sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, okay. I fucked up, big time."

"Am I missing something?" Zack asked confused.

"Maybe Jack was right. Maybe, maybe I am like that. He made it pretty clear last night." I said.

“Paige Anne Merrick." Alex said. He knew I hated being called that.

"Don't you ever think that about yourself that way!"

"Hello!" Zack said. "What's going on?"

"Just forget it." I said and ran up to my room.

"What did you do?" I heard Zack ask as he ran up the stairs.

"I didn't do anything." Alex said.

Zack came into my room then.

"Hey." I mumbled.

"What's wrong?" He asked lying down beside me.

"It's nothing." I said.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yeah, I know." I said. "I just want this to stop."

"I know and it will in time." He said. "Now, tell me what was all that about before."

"Umm, please don't get angry at me or hate me for this." I said.

"Paige, you're scaring me."

“Well, umm, I hooked up with Alex and I know I shouldn't have but I was on the rebound and I kinda like him, and, and-"

"Woah, woah, slow down." Zack said. "You hooked up with Alex?"

"Yes." I sighed. "I'm so, so sorry. I know he's your best friend and-"

"Paige, shut up." Zack said. "I don't hate you. I could never hate you."

"Oh, thank god."

"But, I am a little mad that you kept this a secret for so long."

"I know, I'm sorry. I messed up. I've messed up alot and hurt alot of people and I know that I can't take it back. People must think I'm a horrible person."

"It's okay and I know for a fact that people don't think you're a horrible person." He said and hugged me.

"Thanks, bro."

"Anytime."

For the rest of the week I had those lyrics etched into my brain.

"She gets what she wants and she breaks what she gets,
Get out while you can or she'll tear you to pieces..."

He was getting to me and I couldn't help it.
..........
It's been a week since the show. Alex and I haven't spoken at all. I hate this. I walked down the hall to Alex's room. His door was slightly open and I could hear him playing something. I sat down next to his door and listened.

"Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye - it could be for the last time and it's not right.
"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said.
Alone and far from home we'll find you...

Dead - Like a candle you burned out;
Spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.
Scream - To be heard, like you needed any more attention;
Throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.
Sing me to sleep; I'll see you in my dreams, waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."
Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around it's like a piece of me is missing.

I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?
Don't you realize you showed this family a world of pain?
Can't you see there could have been a happy ending we let go?

Sing me to sleep; I'll see you in my dreams, waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."
Sing me to sleep
I'll see you in my dreams,
Waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

It was Lullabies. Alex sings this song over and over when he's upset or angry. I felt terrible. I did this to him.

I stood up and knocked on the door.

"Come in." I walked into his room and just stood there.

I had no idea what to say. I sat down next to him on his bed. We sat there for a while just staring at each other. I still didn't know what to say. That's it. If I don't know how to say what I want to say I'll say it another way. I took his guitar off him. He just sat there watching my every move. I started to play.

"Sing me to sleep; I'll see you in my dreams, waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."
Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around it's like a piece of me is missing.
I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?"

I left out the next line.

“Can't you see there could have been a happy ending we let go?
I miss you, I'm so sorry." I stopped.

"I'm sorry too." Alex said.

"Can we be just friends?" I asked, hopeful.

"Of course, you idiot!" Alex said messing up my hair.

"Thank you." I said fixing up my hair.

"For?"

"Everything." I said. "You've been so good to me over the past 6 years."

"Hey, don't mention it." He said. "You're an amazing girl Paige and any guy would be lucky to have you."

"Thanks." I smiled and hugged him. "You know you're like a brother to me, right?"

"And you're like a sister to me."

"Promise that nothing like this will ever come between us again." I said.

"Pinky promise." Alex said.

That's one down, one two go.