Do Your Worst

I pressed myself into the corner of my room, squeezing my eyes shut. I had run as fast as I could from Xantis’ room after I touched him.

I don’t know why but when our hands brushed, this feeling came over me that I have never felt before. I wanted to touch him more, for him to touch me more and that was what frightened me, the desire I had for it to happen.

Tears fell from my eyes as my chest tightened. “What’s happening to me!?” I sobbed out, clutching my legs to my chest and burying my face into my knees.

I sat there for a fe hours, until I felt the tightness leave me and I could relax. Feeling the soreness in my bones from sitting on the floor for so long, I headed to my bed, curling up on it and closing my eyes, wanting to sleep and not think about what had just happened, willing away the memory.

A knock was delivered to my door before I could slip completely into sleep and I froze.

“Castiel, may I come inside?” I heard Bravo’s voice and a sigh of relief slipped past my lips. I’m not too sure I could face Xantis at the moment.

I did not answer; hearing the door handle turn and seeing Bravo walk in, closing the door softly behind him. “Xantis told me about the…lust touch you seem to have attained.” He said, trying to joke with me and seeing by my eyes that I did not want to joke around with him.

“I felt nothing.” I lied through my teeth, glaring at him.

“You wouldn’t be acting this way if you felt nothing.” Bravo said, sitting on my bed and pulling me into my lap. I gasped, feeling nothing at his touch, hesitantly leaning into his embrace.

”I’m scared.” I whispered into his ear, shivering slightly.

Bravo bit his lip, looking down at me with knowing eyes, like he didn’t want to tell me something. “Your skill has awakened.” He whispered and I pulled back a little to look at him.

“What do you mean?” I questioned. I’d heard people talk about skills but never have I really questioned what they were as I had not experienced it for myself.

“Skills are things that we develop as we grow as supernatural beings. You are a late bloomer with a quite…unique skill.” He said, chuckling a little, his voice dying off as I stared at him incredulously.

“You mean my…my skill…is lust?” I asked, horrified, jumping out of my brother’s arms, backing away from him and back into the corner that I found myself in earlier. “No…so whenever I touch someone…why not you?” I asked, so many questions running through my mind and not knowing which to ask.

“We’re family.” He shrugged, “and at first, it usually only appears when you are experiencing a strong emotion, until you reach a certain point when it just sort of flows out of you and you learn to control it..”

I blanched. “There will be a time when I cannot control this?” I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, feeling myself beginning to take short, shallow breaths, my hands shaking.

“Castiel, sweetheart.” Bravo said to soothe me, walking towards me and wrapping his arms around my waist, hugging me close. “Don’t worry about that quite yet..” He picked me up and carried me back to the bed, setting me down on it. “Just rest for now.” He murmured while stroking my hair back gently, as another sound was heard on the door before Akier walked in.

“I heard about what happened. This must be kept from Mother.” He said immediately, his presence strong, speaking more to Bravo then me, seeing as I was in no state to hold a conversation, barely holding myself together. “If she finds out that he has the touch of a whore? She’ll exile him.” He stated flatly, Bravo jumping to his feet on the bed.

“He does not have the touch of a whore. He just happens to have whoever he touches desire him.” He growled and Akier seemed to realize what he said though he did not rescind the comment.

“Still, she must not know.”

I saw Bravo roll his eyes from where he stood, “obviously, did you find out from Xantis?”

Akier nodded, “I did, and I advised him to not speak to anyone else about it.”

“What am I going to do?” I whispered, looking between my brothers. I couldn’t just stay pent up in this room until I could control this. I would have to attend classes and still go out in public.

“Act normal. Pretend nothing happened but try and wear long sleeves, long pants, say you caught a little bit of a cold or something.” Akier said quietly, walking to my window and looking out of it, probably not seeing any students as it was still night time.

I curled up into a ball, thinking over how hard this was going to be. I couldn’t just pull away from people, me, a naturally sociable and talkative person. I would most likely end up in the middle of a conversation then realize that I wasn’t supposed to be around others as much as possible.

Bravo sat back down beside me, petting my hair once more and Akier walked close, hesitantly doing the same before walking out of the room.

“Don’t worry, we’ll get through this.” Bravo whispered, reaching down and hugging me tightly to his chest and I nodded.

“Hopefully.”