Do Your Worst

I finally made it back to my room, with a wide grin on my face. I don't know what came over Castiel, but what happened told me he made his decision. And the way he moaned... I swear if we were in a private room, it would have been much more. I wish I could have had my way with him. The feel of his skin again mine; just the thought of it makes me shiver.

Then I thought about how I really feel about this. Do I like him? I sat on my bed and stared at my door while I tried to figure this out. I cannot let myself fall for Castiel. It would ruin many things for both of us. But I also can't use him for the... Feelings I get when I'm with him.

In the middle of my thoughts, I hear a knock at my door. I watched it open slowly as Bravo came in.

"Castiel tells me Akier threatened you." He spoke.

"He did." I said simply.

"Why?"

"He found out what happened in the infirmary."

"Oh." was all he said. We sat in silence for a few moments, staring either at my covered window or the ground. Finally, I told him I was going to bed since I had got in so late. He nodded and left. I striped to my underwear and climbed into my bed, hoping sleep would find me quickly.

It did, and when I woke up, my maid was yelling for me to get ready for class. I asked what day it was, remembering the note that was left.

"It is Thursday, Master. Classes have been closed for the last two days, and you have been asleep that long."

I chuckled. "I've slept longer."

"That doesn't surprise me, Master." She walked out and let me get ready for my day. Within an hour, I was already walking to my first class. I had a few of my classes exchanged for ones that actually fit my needs. I am sure I have my first class with Castiel now. It was some kind of class for the higher classed angels and, of course, royals. I walked in and sat in a seat towards the back of the room. The instructor decided she wanted to have a small conversation with me, seeing as I was the only student in the room. She asked me normal things like how I felt about the school thus far and if I had made any friends. She seemed to take a legitimate interest in me and that made me crack a small smile.

The bell rang, signaling the end of our short chat and the start of class. The student filed in quickly and sat down. Castiel gracefully walked in and sat diagonal from me. As I looked at him, I could feel the emotion I felt before. If I had a beating heart, it would have skipped a beat. He glanced at me then immediately turned his head away. I couldn't help but stare at his hair. In the light you could see his natural golden highlights against his cinnamon hair. The length fell just below the nape of his neck. Castiel styled his hair so it would look messy, but on purpose. It was cute on him.

Throughout the class period, I watched Castiel out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't help myself. The unidentified emotion hasn't faded and all I could think about was how beautiful and perfect he was; I wanted to kiss him again. Everything about him made me want him, but it wasn't lust. The thought that I might like him crossed my mind, but I shook it off. Demons like me can't fall for anyone. At least I think. The bell rang again, and rather quickly. Everyone left the class, headed for their second hour. I followed suit and looked around the halls. I spotted Seraphiel and pulled her aside.

"What is it, Xantis?" she questioned.

"Can you help me figure something out?"

"Of course."

"I-I seem to have some kind of emotion that I cannot figure out."

"How does the emotion make you feel?" She tilted her head as I began to explain how I feel about Castiel, without using his name. She nodded as she listened and when I finished I could feel the warmth in my cheeks.

"That sounds a lot like love, Xantis."

"That's impossible. I have no soul or heart. I can't love."

"You were raised by shifters, were you not? It could be possible that you picked up some humanity from them. Enough to feel these kind of emotions. You may be a demon, but you are most definitely different than what you think of yourself." She gave me a quick hug and hurried to class after advising me to do the same. I walked toward my class, thinking about that she said.

Could it be possible that I have developed enough humanity to feel normal emotions? Would that even be a good thing for me? I dislike what I am, so maybe it could benefit me. But how in the world could I possibly be sure if it is true? I spent the rest of my morning classes thinking about this and trying to talk to Castiel. He has been ignoring me and it is starting to make me angry. At lunch, I talked to Sera again. I asked her the question that had been nagging at me, and her answer surprised me.

"Well, Xantis, what you need to do is kiss Castiel again."

"H-how did you know?" I looked around to make sure no one had heard us.

"I was walking through when I saw you two the other day. I did not surprise me, to be honest."

"Seraphiel, you cannot tell anyone. It could ruin a lot of things for him."

"Don't worry," she laughed. "Your secret is safe with me. Now, if you want to be absolutely sure of what you feel, you need to get him alone again."

"That is harder than it sounds. He hasn't said a word to me all day."

"Do you know why?" I shook my head.

"Maybe after classes you can find him in his room." I nodded and thanked her. She smiled and went about her business. I walked outside to the courtyard and sat under the nearest tree, trying to think of something to say to Castiel. There more I thought about that, the more I wondered why he's avoiding me and that made me more angry. As my anger flared, the bell rang. I didn't want to go back to class, but my next class would be with Castiel. I decided I would go through this class, then skip the rest of the day.

I walked in my class and sat in my usual seat. Seraphiel walked in and not long after Castiel did. He didn't look at me whatsoever. All hour, I tried to get his attention without attracting the attention of everyone else. Sera started to notice my frustration and handed me a note that told me to calm down. I took her advice and tried to pay attention to the instructor. As soon as the bell rang to release us, I darted out of the door and made my way to my room in the Chambers Building.

When I entered my room, I threw my schoolbooks on my bed and sat in a little black velvet chair by my black-curtained window. I stared at the dark cloth for several minutes before I let myself think. Today's school session would be over in at least an hour. Castiel may not be in his room for another several hours, seeing as he has friends. I would only have Sera, Raphael, and Lailah. I've learned that Sera and Lailah don't accompany each other very much, but Raphael was always with one or the other.

Since I had no where to go, I sat in my room for the next few hours. I read, organized my books and knicknaks, and eventually tried to take a nap. When that failed, I went back to organizing my books. I checked the time several times a minute because it was going so slow. When I deemed it was time to find Castiel, I set out towards his room. I walked down the golden hall slowly, feeling slightly afraid and, of course, angry. I had no idea what Castiel was going to say to me, if he was going to say anything at all. I stood at his door for a few long seconds before knocking. I heard someone shuffle something around before the door opened. Castiel looked up at me with surprise written all over his face.

"Could we talk for a moment?" I asked while trying to keep my anger hidden. He nodded and let me in, closing the door quietly.

"I'm glad you came, Xantis. I-"

"Why have you ignored me all day?" I cut him off. He didn't look very surprised.

"I was just about to tell you. I don't really know how to... Deal with you around the others. When I say that, I mean I don't know if I can be near you and not try to strip you of your clothing."

I chuckled as my anger faded. At least he likes me. I looked at the small angel in front of me and smiled. He walked towards me, motioning for me to sit on his bed. I did so and Castiel cuddled into my side, taking my arms and wrapping them around him.

"Were you mad at me, Xantis?" he asked in a small voice.

"I was. Only because I did not know why were you ignoring me. I understand now." I felt the boy smile and wrap his arms around my waist. The feeling I got when he did so was indescribable. I wished we could have stayed like this forever.

"Good. I don't think I could bare you being angry with me. Even if I didn't like you the way I do."

"And how exactly do you like me?" Castiel giggled and buried his face in my shirt. I heard him mumble his answer, but couldn't make it out.

"What was that?"

"I said I like you enough to keep us a secret... If we were to start a relationship." His cheeks reddened and he hid his face once more. I could feel my face become warm, as well. I couldn't help the smile that snaked its way to my lips. Pulling Castiel closer to me, I slowly lifted his head by his chin. He giggled and poked at my cheeks, making them even warmer.

"You're so... Cute when you blush."

"Oh, hush." I smiled and kissed his cheek, making him giggle once again. He adjusted himself to where he was sitting on my lap and we were at eye level. He glanced at my lips while I stared into his eyes. My stomach started tying knots and my chest got tight. Is this what it feels like to like someone?

Castiel started leaning towards me. He stopped just before he touched my lips with his, wanting me to make the decision. I gently pushed my lips to his, closing the small gap. His lips were soft and smooth. I felt him smile and push himself closer to me. He leaned in more and wrapped his arms around my neck.

It felt right. Him and I being so close together, just felt like we were meant to be here. Eventually, Castiel gently bit at my bottom lip, making me shiver. He smirked a bit at it a little harder. My breathing got deeper as my angel took control. His fingers worked themselves in my hair as I played with the hem of his shirt. I wanted to see how far he would go right now.

Castiel tugged on my hair and I couldn't help but let out a small growl. He giggled and did it again, making me growl louder. He used his body to push me up against his bed and straddled me. He continued to tug at my hair. The more he did that, the more I wanted him. It all ended too soon because Castiel rolled to the side giggling. I laid still, trying to control myself. He crawled back over to me and laid his head on my chest.

"I've never done that before," he whispered.

"Sure seems like you have." I breathed out. He chuckled and started to trace small circles on my chest.

"I'm a virgin, Xantis. I haven't done anything more than a simple kiss." I nodded, knowing very well what he means. I started to twirl his hair and we heard a knock at his door. Castiel called for the newcomer to wait for a moment, yet the door opened anyway. Castiel jumped up and I jumped away, and consequently, off the bed. I landed on the floor just as Bravo stepped in. He looked between us and smirked.