What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

He let go of my wrists. He was quiet, and he didn't answer. He probably didn't even know why he followed me out. He didn't know what to say or what to do. And I knew that.

"Yeah, I thought so."

"Jess, where are you even going?" Stephenasked, grabbing my wrist again.

"Do you even remember anything from last night?! Fuck, Stephen!" I yelled.

"No! Well.. Not most of it.. I do remember getting in your bunk and you making out with me--"

"I did not make out with you!" I tried to shake his hand off. "You made out with me, and you were fucking drunk, so just leave me alone!" I screamed, succeeding in making him let go and started running away.

"Jess, where are you even going?!" He ran after me while asking again.

"I'm going to Kennedy!" I felt tears rolling out my eyes.

"What?!" Stephen grabbed my forearm and held on firmly. "And what? You're gonna tell him everything?!"

"Yes!" I pushed him away.

"You know what?! Jess?! Fine!" He yelled. "Go and tell your little boyfriend! Go fuck yourself with a rake, I don't care! I won't give a fuck anymore! This friendship is fucking over!"

"Wh.." I cleared my throat. "What?"

"You heard me. Fuck, if you think Kennedy's so important, fine! Go!" He shooed me away with his hand.

"What?"

"Go! Can't you fucking hear me?! Did you not fucking here me?! I told you, I'm telling you to fucking go!" He yelled. "Since you love Kennedy so fucking much, just go!"

I felt myself crying harder. And it wasn't out of anger anymore. Well, partly, it was, but those tears were mostly coming from how hurtful what I was hearing from Stephen was.

"What the fuck are you waiting for, Jess? Go."

"Stephen--"

"You picked Kennedy over me. Fine. I get it. Don't ever speak to me again. This is over."

I watched him swipe a tear away from his bruised face. "Stephen.."

"Go." He scoffed before running back to the tour bus.

Then Kennedy popped out of their bus. He probably heard us screaming at each other and wanted to check it out.

He ran to me and gave me a bone crushing hug. "Jess, what happened?"

That was it. Our friendship, our six-year friendship just fucking died.

"Jess," Kennedy spoke again, pulling back and looking me in the eye. "What happened?" He asked again.

I buried my head into his chest. "I just lost my best friend."

--

"Jess, come on. We have a show." Kennedy tried to pull me out of his bunk.

"I don't wanna," I complained, trying to cover up the fact that I had spent an entire hour in his bunk crying. Not that his pillow getting soaked would've helped try to cover up that fact, but I had to try.

"Jess, think about your fans. Please come on." He tried his best not to have been aggressive with his hands as he succeeded in pulling me out.

"Okay," I muttered.

"Now go freshen up." He pushed my hair out of my face. "You smell like beer and shit."

"Okay." I said again.

Then it hit me that I had to go to our bus. Fuck.

So he casually walked me back to our bus.

"I have to get ready too. I'll see you later, okay?" He gave me a peck then ran off.

I climbed up the bus stairs and walked the bus hall.

I felt terrible. Every fucking thing pissed me off, every fucking thing reminded me of Stephen and what just happened. I just lost my fucking best friend, it was worse than anything that's ever happened to me.

I just lost my best friend. The only one who had been there for me forever. He was the only person that made me believe I wasn't alone. He was the only one who opened my eyes to the reality of who I should be. He was the only one who loved me sincerely for everything and anything I was.

And he was gone.

I was about to walk into the bunk area to the bathroom but I stopped outside when I heard John's voice. "Stephen, we have a fucking show. Quit being a cunt."

"Shut up." Stephen answered.

"What's wrong?" John's voice changed from hard and harsh to soft and calm.

"Nothing. Please.. Just.. Leave me alone."

"I'd love to, but we have a show. Come on. Think about your fans."

I mentally laughed. That's exactly how Kennedy convinced me to come out.

"Fuck." Stephen grunted.

"Come on. Get ready. Please. We have to be there in.. Like.. An hour. I'm sorry." John walked out.

His eyes shifted to me, then off. "We have a show in an hour, get ready." He commanded coldly.

I bet he knew that the reason Stephen was upset probably had something to do with me.

I walked into the bus area, trying to shrug everything off.

Stephen was sitting on the edge of his bunk uncomfortably. He looked up, got off his bunk and walked away.

I really lost him.