What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

"Babe, are you awake?"

I nodded.

"It's three in the afternoon. Come on." Kennedy tried to pull me out of his bunk.

"So what?" I muttered.

"We're supposed to be out, having fun." He succeeded and got me to stand up.

"What fun is there to have when I don't have my best friend?" I rolled my eyes and walked off.

"Aw, babe, come on." He gave me a kiss on my cheek. "What do you wanna do today?"

Make up with Stephen.

For the past six weeks of tour, Kennedy had always asked me that. And I always wanted to say I wanted to make up with Stephen, but I knew I couldn't so I ended up hanging out with Kennedy all day.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Kennedy. I fucking loved Kennedy. But he wasn't Stephen. He wasn't my best friend.

I've been feeling the loneliest I've ever been those past weeks.

Kennedy couldn't stand seeing me miserable like that. He did everything he could to make me feel better. He took me out, he bought me food, and he was always kissing me, making me feel loved. One thing he never did, though, was leave me. He never left me.

Well, yeah, he left me in the most literal way: when he had to go on stage, when he had to go to the bathroom, when he had to go to bed.. He even asked me if I wanted to sleep with him in his bunk. Of course, I said no. I didn't want to bother him in his sleep. I've been enough of a disturbance to him already when I was awake. I wanted him to actually get some sleep.

I'd been missing Stephen. I'd been missing him a lot. A fucking lot. And he didn't even feel the same way. I just knew it. I was more miserable than him. He could still bear to smile, he could still stand to see me. I, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. I didn't wanna look at him, and it had been six weeks since I've genuinely smiled.

"Babe," Kennedy called again. "What do you wanna do today?"

"Hang out with you, I guess." Not that I have any other choice.

"Hang out, huh?" He let out a chuckle. "You've been hanging out with me a lot."

"You're my boyfriend." I stuck out my lower lip at him. "Are you, or are you not?"

"I am," He gave me a kiss. "Which is why I think you might get tired of seeing this face every time you fucking wake up."

"I'll never get tired of your face, babe." I kissed him again.

"Okay." He stepped back before I could kiss him one more time. "Where do you wanna go today?"

I took his hand and paced out the bus. "Where ever you feel like taking me."

"A place with food?" He raised an eyebrow.

"You know it!" I answered with a laugh.

"Well come on!"

--

"Kennedy?" I snapped a finger in front of his face.

His head snatched to my direction. "What?"

"Are you okay?"

"Of course." He took a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

"So why are you being so quiet?" I looked at my empty bowl.

"Quiet? Me?"

"Yeah, quiet. You."

"Nothing, I was just thinking this shit's delish." He mumbled.

"No?" I frowned. "You've got shit on your mind."

"You want me to get you some more ice cream?" He started to get up.

"No!" I grabbed his hand. "Stop changing the topic, tell me what's bothering you."

"Can we go first?" He asked awkwardly.

"Yeah, sure."

He paid for the ice cream then we walked out.

We silently made it back to their bus and we sat down on the first couch in the bus.

He was playing with his hands nervously.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm worried."

"What are you worrying about though?" I scooted closer to him.

"Everything." He wrapped one of his hands around one of mine.

"Everything?"

"Everything." He repeated.

"Define everything." I confidently commanded.

"Everything.. Between us."

"What are you talking about?"

"Let's face it, Jess, after this tour, we're barely gonna get to talk to each other again, it's gonna be like that night in high school with the band shit again--"

"Kennedy, stop." I put a finger to his lips. "Shut up. Don't think about it. Please."

He took my finger off then gave me a kiss. "You know I love you, right?"

I nodded. "But just to be sure, say it."

"I love you."

I let out a laugh. "I love you too."