What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

"Look," John finally spoke up, breaking the awkward silence between me and all the guys. "Jess, you can sleep in my room."

I sighed, knowing that I wasn't gonna be sleeping next to Stephen that night. Not that I wanted to, but nights like those, I really needed someone to hold me in my sleep.

Stephen shot up. "I can't take this, I'm going to bed." He walked down the hall into his room.

"I can sleep on the couch." I rested my head on one of the couch arms.

"No, you sleep in my room." John insisted rather solidly.

"Okay," I muttered getting up. "Good night, guys."

"Night." John answered.

I was waiting for an answer from Josh and Brian, but I soon got over them not saying anything because I knew they all were on Stephen's side on this one.

I climbed up the stairs.

I plumped onto John's bed. Everything was so fucked up.

I closed my eyes and slowly dozed off.

--

I realized that I actually fell asleep, that I actually got some sleep.

"Jess, are you up?" John peeked his head through the door.

"Yeah." I mumbled rolling out of his bed.

"Come on, it's time to go. Freshen up."

"Okay."

--

"I'm so stoked." I decided to say as I lugged my bag into the tour bus.

I spotted Stephen rolling his eyes, and Josh and Brian not caring.

"Me too." John said.

Since the night before, John had been the only one talking to me, the only one being nice, and I knew it was just force of habit, force of being the nice kid Stephen raised him to be.

Not that I didn't see it coming.

"Ugh, whatever." I got off the bus realizing how much I couldn't stand it anymore.

And I was lucky, because as I got off the bus, Kennedy was on his way to their own bus.

"Jess!" He yelled, running to me, dropping his bags.

"Cliche bastard." I laughed as he wrapped his arms around me.

"But I know you love me." He smiled, pulling back.

"You know too much."

He pulled me into a kiss.

"Will you guys push the baby-making off your sched for today?" Jawn pulled Kennedy off of me, Kennedy's bags in one of his hands.

"Fuck off." Kennedy grabbed his bags off of Jawn with one hand and put the other on the side of my waist. "How are you, babe? We didn't get to talk much last night."

Last night. Last night was fucking terrible. Special thanks to Kennedy for slapping me back to reality. I started to walk with him, obviously deciding not to answer him.

"I'm sorry," He glanced at me then stopped walking. "I didn't mean to--"

"Not, it's okay." I cut him off. "Uhm. I'm.. Fine."

He heaved a sigh. "You wanna talk about it?" He started his way to the bus again.

"Not really."

He wrapped his arm around my waist.

"But I do wanna spend some time with you, is that okay?" I shyly coughed out.

"That'd be great, I missed you like fuck." He flashed me a smile.

I smiled back at him.

"Just let me put my stuff down and we could hang somewhere."

"Nah, I can hang in your bus.. I mean.. If that's okay with you."

"Great idea." He watched Garrett walk out of the tour bus.

Garrett looked at Kennedy then at me, then back at Kennedy. "What's Jess doing here?"

"She's just gonna hang out with us for a while, is that okay?"

"Yeah, whatever." Garrett walked over to Jawn and helped him with his bags.

"Garrett, no!" Pat appeared at the bus door. "I thought what we had was real!"

"Aww, Pat," He dropped Jawn's bags and walked over to him. "Yes, baby, what we have is real. Don't doubt anything."

Pat smiled at him.

"I'm creeped out." I whispered to Kennedy.

"Don't worry, it's a fucking joke." Kennedy answered, but he wasn't whispering.

"You shut the fuck up, Kenny, what Garrett and I share is not a joke! It's love, and love is real." Pat held on to Garrett's hands.

"Drop the act." Jawn pushed them aside and walked up the stairs of the bus.

"So what's Jess doing here?" Jared came out of nowhere.

"She's hanging with us for a while." Kennedy announced.

--

"Wait." Jawn waved his hands in confusion. "You and Jess were.. Together?!"

Kennedy raised my hand in his.

"Together-together..?" Jawn questioned again.

"Yes. Now shut up." Kennedy rolled his eyes.

"No way." Jared refused to believe him.

"Yes way." Kennedy answered back at Jared's useless comment.

"Like, when? You've been with Charlotte for, like, a year or something till you broke up months ago." Pat said.

"Uhm.. About.. Three? Three years ago?" Kennedy said with a tone of skepticism.

"Three years ago? That's fucked, and now you're making out." Garrett said with a disgusted look on his face.

"I haven't made out with her." Kennedy answered Garrett. "She's still upset about last night--"

"Last night. There it is again." I got up.

"No, Jess, I'm sorry." He grabbed my wrist and gently pulled me back down.

"I--" I stumbled on my words. "I'm sorry.. I just.. Ugh. I just.. I don't know. Stephen."

"You wanna tell us the whole story?" Pat got up and started walking to the tour bus fridge.

"No, Pat! Don't leave me!" Garrett begged holding Pat's wrist.

"Aww, baby, I'll be back real quick."

"Again, I'm creeped." I looked at Kennedy.

He let out a chuckle. "Don't worry, really."

"Pat, tour hasn't even started yet and you're already eating food from the fridge, I won't be surprised if we ran out before the sun sets." Jawn muttered jokingly.

"You're always overreacting, aren't you, Jawn?" Pat rolled his eyes and searched the fridge.

--

"I missed you too." I mumbled into Kennedy's lips.

His fingers were tangling themselves in my hair. "God, Jess, I love you."

"I love you too."

I felt a smile forming onto his lips while they were on mine.

"Jess, John's looking for you!" I heard Jawn's voice.

I jolted off Kennedy.

He smiled at me.

I guess that ends this make-out session.

"Jess! Get out here!" Jawn yelled.

"Okay," I muttered even though I knew he wasn't gonna hear me.

"Jess, I had a great time with you today." He stood up after me.

"Same here." I gave Kennedy one more kiss before opening the back lounge door.

"Finally, there you are!" John grabbed my wrist. "Let's go."

"I'll see you later." Kennedy beamed.

"You too."

John aggressively pulled me through the parking lot. "Where have you been? We were supposed to discuss the set list today!"

I let my face fall onto my palms realizing that my plans with my band mates that day completely slipped out of my mind. "Sorry."

"Look, Stephen was worried as fuck `cause I didn't tell him I knew you were with Kennedy." John let go of my wrist and waited for the bus door to open.

"Ugh, fuck him, I don't care."

I didn't mean it. I didn't know why I just said that, I just did and I couldn't take it back.

"I'm trying to be nice here while everyone's on Stephen's side, okay? So could you just fucking cooperate? We need to pull you and Stephen's shit together so the band still--"

"What if I don't wanna pull me and Stephen's shit together?! Fuck you, John!" I yelled, running into the bus when the door opened.

I crashed into Stephen. I looked up from the gray v-neck and looked away.

He fought for me to move so I did.

"I'm gonna go to bed now." I mumbled to everyone who stared at me when I yelled at John.

"By the way, we decided on the set list without you." I heard John say before I entered the bunk area of the bus.

I slipped into my bunk, closing the curtain soon after.

Now, everything's fucked.

Way to go, Jessica Bowen. Way to go.

I closed my eyes at the thought of everything turning a direction to disaster.

I was mad at Stephen, I didn't understand John, and I was in the most uncertain relationship with Kennedy.

Fuck.