Thinking of You

It was late afternoon and Gerard and Lindsey were lying in the upstairs bath together, his hands wrapped around her petite waist lovingly; her face covered in kisses, her body covered in foamy bubbles. The water softly rippling as they moved slightly. They'd been lazing around for about an hour in the bath, their train from Newark to Manhattan not being for another few hours.

"Long ago..." he sang into her ear, "And oh-so far away, I fell in love with you... before the second show..." He kissed her wet cheek.

Lindsey felt tears brim, she leant against his chest and closed her eyes, smiling gratefully.

"Don't you remember you told me you loved me, baby? Said you'd be comin' back this way again, baby. Baby, baby, baby, baby, oh baby. I love you, I really do," he kissed from her cheek to her neck and back up again. Lindsey giggled, placing her hands on his hands which were wrapped tightly around his waist. He made her feel so safe, and loved.

"My mom used to play the Carpenters all the time," she sighed, sadly. "I miss her. Andrew doesn't let me have any friends, I hardly see my family..."

Gerard just sat there listening intently, kissing her every now and then.

"...Not that it's much of a family..." she laughed hoarsely. "There's my sister and my mom. I grew up never knowing my dad,"

Gerard kissed her face, holding her, he could tell that this caused her great pain. He didn't realise that that's was actually a great deal of things about Lindsey he didn't know.

"He left my mom when she fell pregnant with me. He didn't want me. Story of my life," she shrugged, trying to laugh it off. "Gerard?" she muttered, her voice shaky with sadness.

"Yes baby?"

"Do you think that if you're a victim, you stay a victim your whole life?" she leant against his chest, staring at the blinding white ceiling.

Gerard caressed her skin softly, kissing her lovingly. "No," he whispered. "I believe that when we're at our most vulnerable, we're at our strongest," he spoke, "Sometimes it takes something awful to wake someone up and decide this is not what they want anymore,"

Lindsey cried softly, "I wish I were as strong as you,"

Gerard felt a lump form in his throat. He swallowed and dragged his lips across the skin on her neck.

"You are, and you can be. You can do anything. You're amazing."

Lindsey turned where she was lying and looked at him. Being this close to him took her breath away. She closed her eyes as he nuzzled his nose against hers. She parted her lips, waiting to meet his, and brought a hand up rest on his cheek. He closed the space between them and the water splashed a little as it moved around them. Gerard ran his tongue along her lip and she opened her mouth partially as they made out. Gerard hovered over her in the bath, making a loud splash as they tried to find a comfortable position. Lindsey giggled and saw him smiling inches away from her face.

"Baby, I want you, but this bath is too fuckin' small," she giggled against his mouth.

He nodded defeatedly and chuckled a little. "I love your laugh," he cupped her face. "I love your everything,"

--

"You better put some clothes on," his eyes stalked her from the bed. She was walking around his bedroom in a matching lacy set of black underwear, looking in her suitcase for a T-Shirt to wear.

She looked over at him and giggled slightly. "Can I wear one of your tops?" she stood by his closet, motioning him to come over.

He happily obliged, wrapping his arms all the way around her from the back, looking down at her cleavage, making "Nom" sounds against her neck.

She giggled gently, reaching and looking through the T-Shirts hung up.

"Your closet is just like mine," she laughed "all black!"

She continued looking and gasped softly, seeing a Bikini Kill tee hung up. She got it out and looked at him.

"You listen to bikini kill?" she asked, her eyes glistening.

He smiled and nodded "hell yeah I do. I love riot grrrl bands... Sleater-Kinney, Babes in Toyland, L7, Bra-" he was cut off by her lips, crashing down on his fiercely.

"Holy shit you're so perfect," Lindsey groaned, "I used to play bass in a Bikini Kill cover band... I wore school girl outfits and never hit any of the notes,"

He moaned, reaching for the hem of her lacy panties. "School girl uniform? Do you have pictures?" he grinned, feeling his mouth water at the thought. "My sexy little bass player..." his hands followed her hour glass figure, drifting past her waist and firmly holding her slightly protruding hips.

"I'll try and find some when I go back home. I doubt it. It's before I met Andrew and if he found out, he'd kill me," she laughed, "I think I kept the outfits though..."

Gerard shot her a look and his mouth dropped as he thought of her dressing up for him. Goosebumps.

She giggled at him and closed his mouth with her hand. "I'll wear this Bikini Kill top, you wear the Babes in Toyland one." she smiled.

--

Lindsey dabbed on some red lipgloss and smacked her lips together, pouting. She looked towards Gerard who'd just put a hoodie on, covering his forearms - he was conscious about any part of his flesh on show. She didn't know why. She thought he was beautiful.

It was a warm evening and she didn't feel like wearing a jacket. She tied her hair in loose pigtails and smiled as he brushed past her to fetch his sunglasses, kissing her lips gently. She looked in the mirror at them both and her heart stopped.

"Oh my god," she bit her lip. He looked towards her, confused.

Lindsey was staring at Gerard in the mirror; the Babes In Toyland shirt, his shoulder-length scraggly black hair, and the lipgloss on his lips which had transferred there when they kissed. He looked like her androgynous lesbian girlfriend. She grabbed his hand and pointed in the mirror, showing him what she was staring at.

He saw it too, and he laughed gently. "I know, I'm so pretty," he winked. "People at art school who didn't know me used to think I was a chick, especially when I wore makeup" he shrugged, grinning. "Too much Rocky Horror and David Bowie growing up," he laughed.

Lindsey didn't know how or why she found his apparent androgyny so damn hot; but she definitely did. She didn't even want to go out anymore. The feelings he gave her, it was like...

"I feel like a teenager," she laughed, kissing him softly. "Smitten,"