Thinking of You

Lindsey looked at Gerard, confused and a blush crept its way onto her pretty face. Part of her wanted to just scream her lungs out because she was so happy, part of her felt scared and wanted to retreat back into the shell that Gerard had just brought her out of.

“Wh-” She started, completely unsure how to handle the situation. “What do you mean?”

Gerard sighed.

“Nothing. Do you want me to take you back to Andrew? Or you can stay at my house, just until he calms down?” he asked, giving her the option, wanting to see what she’d do.

“Gee...” she said, looking up at him with those big brown eyes, and he was pretty sure his heart was going to melt. “What did you mean?”

He looked over at her again and bit his lip shyly. For the first time since she’d met him, a flicker of vulnerability was visible in his eyes.

“I meant that, I don’t know, you just... you’re just this amazing girl. And you’re into all the same shit as me. And I know we haven’t known each other long but...” he stopped to ruffle his hair, before sighing deeply. “Look, it doesn’t matter. Do you want me to take you back to Andrew? Really?”

She bit her red lip, completely at a loss for words, before she nodded and looked down.

Gerard sighed again. There was only so much he could do. A few minutes ago he’d outright refused to take her back to her boyfriend, but when he thought about it; he really had no right to interfere in someone else’s relationship.

“Andrew will be okay once he calms down.” she told Gerard reassuringly once he’d started the car.

The journey back was quiet and awkward; Gerard felt more or less rejected, and Lindsey felt confused and angry at herself for not being able to just walk away from Andrew. The two, who just a few hours ago, were laughing and joking around, were now staring emotionlessly at the road ahead. Just as they pulled into Lindsey’s apartment parking lot she received another phone call.

“Hello?” she asked quietly, hoping he wasn’t going to start.

“Baby, I’m sorry for yelling.” he slurred slightly, and she mentally cringed. He was drunk.

“It’s okay, listen I’m outside so I’ll be five minutes okay?” she said before ending the call and looking at Gerard, who was looking straight forward.

“I had fun today...” she whispered.

Gerard shrugged, and cleared his throat. “Yeah me too.” he said, still looking ahead.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at the studio...” she smiled, desperately trying to make an effort. “I’ll bring my art if you want?” she said, trying to get emotion out of him.

“Yeah that’ll be great.” his voice and facial expression still the same.

Lindsey sighed, getting out of the car and was about to close the door, before Gerard looked at her and his eyes had changed to desperate and full of concern.

“Will you text me if he does anything? I’ll be straight over here.” he said.

She nodded again, his worry really touching her. No one had ever cared like he cared. No one had wanted to make sure she was okay. She leant over and kissed Gerard softly on the cheek.

“Thank you.” she whispered against his skin, making his heart rate increase, and then ran into her apartment complex quickly before he could say anything else.

-

Lindsey walked up the stairs; knowing Andrew had calmed down but come on, this was Andrew. Of course he was going to be a jerk. She walked to their door, getting out her keys and opened it slowly.

“Hey.” she said softly, as Andrew was sat at the small table in the kitchen area with a bottle of wine.

“Where have you been, bitch?” he slurred.

“I actually just went to see a few girl friends.” she lied, hanging up her coat.

He got up, staggeringly slightly as he did so, and elevated towards her angrily. “What did I tell you about having friends, bitch? I’m the only friend you need.”

She flinched as he got right in her face, and gripped her chin forcefully.

“You weren’t here, baby.” she fought back the tears.

He let go of her forcefully, and she fell back a few steps, softly hitting the wall.

“Well I’m here now.” he slurred again, his eyes drifting down her body as he smirked.

Lindsey saw that look in his eyes and wanted to vomit. “I’m a little tired.” she yawned.

“I don’t give a fuck!” he yelled aggressively, slapping her hard across the face.

She gripped her cheek, and started crying softly.

He rolled his eyes and forcefully pushed her out of his way as he stormed across the room towards the door.

“Fucking cry, you stupid whore. I’m out to get laid by a real woman who knows how to make a man happy. Not you, you stupid, useless bitch.” he slammed the door behind him.

Lindsey glared at the door once he’d gone, and starting crying again. She felt used and not good enough. So he’d basically just told her he was going out to cheat on her? She got out her phone with trembling hands and looked through her phonebook, dialing Gerard’s number.

“Hello?” he picked up immediately.

Lindsey fought back the tears, and tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

“Hello?” he repeated. “Linds?” he asked, concerned.

“Hi.” she spoke, sniffling.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” she sniffed again. “Just u-upset.”

“Did he do anything to you?” Gerard asked, the anger in his voice rising.

“N-no!” she answered immediately, “He’s left in a temper. He s-said he was going out to get laid.” she shrugged, feeling the tears brim in her eyes and another lump form in her already constricted throat.

She heard Gerard sigh on the line.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. He’s a jerk...” he really didn’t know what to say.

“He’s gunna be gone a few hours. He might not even come back tonight. I know you’re at the studio tomorrow and that you’re on your way home right now but c-can you j-just come over?” she near enough begged. “I need s-someone to t-talk t-to...”

“Of course, Lindsey. Don’t cry. I’ll be half an hour.”

“Okay... thank you, Gee. It’s number 18.” she smiled, her eyes growing red and puffy, as she hung up the phone and waited.

-

Gerard parked his car round the corner, just in case Andrew were to return, and swiftly walked up the stairs to the first floor; where Lindsey and Andrew’s apartment was. He reached number 18 and rang the bell a few times.

Lindsey opened it quickly; paranoid someone would see and tell Andrew, and locked the door behind Gerard. She turned around, half not wanting him to see her in this mess, but knowing she needed a shoulder to cry on.

He immediately enveloped her into a tight hug, squeezing her affectionately, the warmth from his body radiating her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and couldn’t help but cry as he rubbed her back soothingly.

She pulled away and for the second time that day, their faces were alarmingly close together. Gerard brought an artistic hand up to wipe her tears away with his thumbs, making Lindsey gasp at the intimate act. He smiled down at her with those pretty hazel eyes and looked from her eyes to her lips.

“Do you wanna see my art?” she squeaked, blushing.

Gerard smiled wide, exposing his small teeth. “Yes! I would love to!”

-

“These are beautiful.” Gerard whispered as he thumbed through her creations. Most seemed to be self portraits, done with either pencil or acrylic paint. “You’re an amazing fine artist.” and she really was amazing.

The self portraits displayed her in a less than flattering light though; she made herself seem to be crying in a lot of them, and also made herself seem ugly, but at the same time - the paintings were beautiful.

“You should do this for a living. They’re amazing.” he bit his lip, captivated by how talented this woman was.

She blushed at the side of him. “Thank you.”

He looked at one, it was a woman - presumably Lindsey - sitting at a bar with a few shot glasses. She looked depressed and like she’d given up. Underneath was the caption; “wanna make out?”

“Is this how you see yourself?” Gerard asked. “Has he done this to you?”

Lindsey looked down at the floor, biting her lip.

Gerard carefully set her art work back in the drawer - where she said it was hidden from Andrew - and walked over to Lindsey.

“Can I try something?” he asked quietly.

Lindsey looked into his eyes and blushed, ignoring his question she turned her face away and looked towards the kitchen. “Do you want some coffee?” she smiled, looking at him again.

Gerard smiled at how cute she was. “Sure.”

-

Gerard and Lindsey had been talking for an hour, about everything; it was mainly Gerard telling her what it was life for him growing up; how he was the fat kid in high school who had no friends - like she was, how he was half Italian and half Scottish - like she was, how he loved art and horror films - like she did, how he’d wanted to pursue art/comics but the events of 9/11 had made him want to do something valid with his life and help people.

As he continued to tell her things about him; she sat there with her head rested on her hand in complete awe. She found herself falling in love with him. They had so much in common.

From the way he’d talk with his hands or talk out of the corner of his mouth, the giggle he did whenever he said something funny. She sat and listened to him as they finished their coffee.

The time was approaching midnight, Lindsey was totally on edge thinking Andrew was going to walk through the door any minute, and she let Gerard know she was worried.

“You should come round to my house one time, we could paint.” he giggled.

She blushed softly. “Yeah, I’d like that.” she giggled back. “Thank you for cheering me up. I feel a lot better now.”

“Anytime.” he kissed her cheek softly, walking towards the door.

“Text me?” she hugged him one last time, never wanting to let him go.

“I will do, sugar. I’ll see you at the studio tomorrow. Thank you for the coffee.”

“It’s okay. Bye Gee.” she whispered, smiling as she closed the door slowly.

“Bye Lindsey.” he whispered back.

She leant against the door and sighed deeply, her new found friendship with Gerard was the best thing to happen to her in a long time. Just then, she got a text.

From: Gerard
I really wanted to kiss you tonight.