You Know I'm Never Gonna Let You Go

Avery

Alex was being way to quite during the ride. He didn’t look at me or try to piss me off. He didn’t even acknowledge I was right there next to him! I tried to start a conversation a few times, but he kept giving short answer, cutting off the conversation every time.

I wondered if it was because something that had happened last night. Had I said something to him? Something that made him angry? I tried to remember but came up blank. Or maybe it was because now he knew we I’d left him.

I sighed softly so Alex wouldn’t hear me. I knew we had to talk about that at some point, but I really didn’t want to. I did not want to talk to my ex-fiancée about the fact that I left after I found him fucking my best friend. But maybe that was what it would take to get some closure, for both of us.

I glanced over at Alex. His gaze was fixed on the road in front of him and his hand were grabbing the wheel just a bit too tight, like he was angry or something. “Alex.” I said softly, but he didn’t hear me, or maybe he just pretended he didn’t. “Alex.” I tried again, a little louder this time. “What?” He hissed. I was a little taken aback by his hostile attitude. “Can you stop the car please.” “Why?” He asked, his voice softer and a tad confused. “Because we need to talk.” I said. “About last night. I shouldn’t have walked out on you. We should have talked about….. that day and everything.”

“No.” He said, his voice stern and a little harsh. “Alex, please, we need to….” I tried to reason. “I said no!” He growled. “We’re not talking about this right now. Not now.” He was starting to really piss me off again. “Why not!?” I said, my voice a little louder. “Are you really gonna ignore me the rest of the trip because of that? We need to talk about it Alex, we need to end that part of our lives and move on.”

“Move on? I thought you’d already did. With that Josh guy remember?” He snorted. I blushed a bright red. “I-I… Josh and I broke up.” I whispered. Alex didn’t say anything so I continued. “I lied okay. I was just…. mad at you. That’s why I said I was still with Josh.” “Why did you break up?” For a second I thought about telling him the real reason.

But I couldn’t tell Alex it was because I was still in love with him. Alex didn’t love me anymore, I would only embarrass myself even more. “It just didn’t work out. He became a jerk after a while.” I shrugged.

“So, Josh wasn’t as perfect as you said he was hmm.” Alex smirked at me. “Maybe not, but at least he didn’t cheat on me!” I snapped. Alex opened him mouth to say something, but snapped it shut, gripping the wheel ever tighter.

We continued to drive in silence. The only sound coming from the radio that was playing softly in the background.

Suddenly the car started to go slower and slower until it came to a complete stop. “Why’d you stop?” I looked at Alex. “I didn’t.” He replied and checked a couple of things on the dash. “Dammit!” He yelled and hit the wheel. “We forgot to stop for gas.” Fuck. We’d forgot we were running low on gas because of the argument we had earlier. I looked out the window and saw we were in the middle of nowhere.

We just sat in the car for ten minutes in dead silence until I couldn’t take it anymore. I opened the door and hopped out. “Where are you going?” Alex yelled from the car. “Away from you!” I snapped. “This is all your fault! You should have stopped for gas.” “You started the fight, making me forget!” He snapped back and got out of the car too.

But instead of coming towards me he started to walk away from the car. “Where are you going?”He didn’t answer but held up his phone as he kept walking, so I assumed he was going to call road patrol. I sighed and lead against the hood of the car.

Alex came back after a few minutes. “They said they couldn’t help us because we don’t know where we are. They said the best thing is to get the car of the road and find the nearest town, then call again. Assholes.” He grumbled.

“Well at least we have time to talk now.” I tried, but that seem to strike a nerve with Alex. “I already said I didn’t want to talk.” He said angrily. “Why can’t you just drop it Avery! God, you’re such an annoying and whiny bitch! I can’t believe I put up with you all those years!” He turned around and walked away.

I could feel tears starting to form, but I didn’t even try to stop them. With shaking hands I dialed Jack’s number. “Hello?” “J-Jack.” I sniffed. “Ave? Are you crying? What did he do now?” Jack sounded angry. “I… H-he…..” I stuttered. “I-It doesn’t matter.” I just wanted to apologize for last night. I was drunk and…. well, that’s it, I was drunk. I’m sorry the first call you got from me in six months was me drunk dialing you.” He chuckled. “That’s okay.” Suddenly I remembered what I’d told him last night. “Hey Jack, I’m sorry about what happened.” “What happened?” “Yeah. About me, having sex with you to get back at Alex.”

Yeah, I slept with Jack and no I didn’t cheat on Alex, we weren’t together anymore when it happened. It was a few weeks after Id left and moved away. I’d run into Jack who was visiting friends there.

He tried to convince me to come back to Baltimore because Alex had been the same after I’d left. We had a couple of drinks together. A couple turning into a lot and somehow we ended up naked in my bed.

The next morning was way too awkward, especially because neither one of us had any feeling for the other besides friendship. Jack blamed it on the alcohol and we agreed never to talk about it again. What he hadn’t known until last night was that I hadn’t been nearly as drunk as him and only used him to get back at Alex for hurting me. I know it’s insane, but in the heartbroken state I’d been at that moment it made perfect sense.

“Don’t worry about it okay? It’s all good.” He said and I could hear he meant it. “Thanks Jackie, love you.” “Love you too Ave.”

I hung up and hopped off the car. I turned around to see Alex standing next to the car, staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. “Alex!” I jumped. “H-How much did you hear?” I stuttered. “Enough.” He spat and walked away.

When I saw the look on his face I forgot everything. I forgot I was mad at him. That he cheated on me. That we weren’t together anymore. The only thing that mattered right now was that he would let me explain. That he would hear me out and that he would forgive me.

“Alex! Wait! Please” I run after him. “Alex! Please! I-I…..” I managed to catch up with him and grabbed his arm. He looked down at me with a look of pure hate, anger and sadness. “You what!?” He hissed. I opened my mouth to say something, but closed it again when no sound came out. He shook me off of him and continued walking.

I slowly sank down on my knees as I watched him walk away. “Alex.”