Have Faith in Me

“Dammit.”

Jimmy clicked the off button on his phone for the umpteenth time that hour.

“Still no answer?” Zack asked with a quiet voice.

“No. I don’t even know why I’m trying. This is what she always does when she wants to be alone. I just hope it doesn’t continue into the night.” He paced the room, head hung in thought. Jimmy always worried deeply about Jessica. Ever since she was born, he’s seen it as his job to look out for her and protect her. He’d done just that his whole life; whether it be kicking the asses of mean boys who picked on her, kicking the asses of slimy boys who hit on her, or being the one to cradle her sobbing, quivering form in his arms when life had become too much to bear.

Yes, it ached Jimmy Sullivan something big to know his sister was in peril and he couldn’t be there to make it all better. Glancing at Matt, who still sat in the same spot, a totally different ache shot through him. He wanted to throttle the man for doing and saying the things he did. He deserved to have his ass handed to him, and it was Jessica, and Jessica only, that was his hindrance.

“Maybe you should call her.” Jimmy’s voice was snide as he spoke to the bigger man.

“Uh, no,” Matt replied. “If she’s not answering to you, what makes you think she’d answer to me?”

“Because she loves you more than anything, fuck face, and you broke her heart. If you at least try, maybe she’ll think you’re trying to apologize.”

Matt glared at the blue-eyed drummer. He had a point, of course, but there was no way the singer was going to admit that. “I don’t think so. If she wants to talk, she’ll call either you or me.”

“You’re such a stubborn mother fucker, Matt, seriously,” Brian chimed in, shaking his head.

“Yeah, and you already knew that. All of you knew that. Why are you acting like it’s some big surprise?”

“Whatever, man. Can Zack and I just fucking go because it’s obvious we’re not recording today.” Brian stood up and Jimmy looked over at his long-time friend.

“Can’t you guys stay for a little longer? For Jessie’s sake?” Jimmy pleaded. He needed all the support he could get at that point.

Brian sighed and sat back down, “Fine. But just let it be known that I’m fucking not happy about it.”

“Like that’s not evident,” Matt quarreled, and Brian flipped him off in return.

“But you can feel free to leave, though, if you want,” Brian continued, with a sly grin.

“Fuck you, Brian. Just because Jessica and I aren’t on the best of terms, doesn’t mean I don’t care. I’m not leaving until someone hears from her,” Matt replied, knowing that if he left the studio and went home, he wouldn’t have direct contact with Jimmy if Jessica decided to call him back.

“Oh, so you do care! Could’ve fooled me,” Brian spat sarcastically.

“Would you two just stop?!” Zack finally voiced. Brian looked at his boyfriend, ready to dispute his words, but Zack held up his hand. “No, I said stop. Both of you. Jessie’s out there right now, beyond upset, and you two are sitting here arguing like immature little boys. Knock it off, right now.” Zack traded glances with both males, before shaking his head and sitting back in his chair. Brian sighed and laced his fingers with the other’s as a way of apologizing. Zack smiled softly, before the room fell silent once again.

Matt fiddled his thumbs, almost as if he was bored, but on the inside he was fuming. The guys were all acting as if they hated him, his wife ran away and was now ignoring them, and there was nothing he could really do. Even if there was, he probably wouldn’t do it anyway, simply because they were all acting like complete assholes. The only one who wasn’t persecuting the singer was Johnny, and that was because the bassist admittedly was a little afraid of him. Matt eyed the youngest man with something close to pity, and he almost felt bad for him. He’d, many a times, threatened to beat Johnny within an inch of his life, whilst in the middle of one of his bouts of raging anger, of course. But it was apparent Johnny had never gotten over it and was still wary of Matt’s actions. Even now, as he sat close by Jimmy’s side, he appeared to be somewhat tense at knowing Matt was on edge.

Matt only shook his head and looked away. He was about to start another argument, simply because he was becoming very angry again and needed to let off some steam, but his phone suddenly emitted a loud ring from his pocket, and everyone looked over at him expectantly. He shook his head, once again, and pulled the device out with an unenthusiastic expression.

“Yeah,” He grunted upon answering.

“Hello, is this Matthew Sanders?”

“Uh, yeah. Who’s this?”

“Mr. Sanders, this is Dr. Reynolds at Huntington Memorial. You’re listed here as the husband and emergency contact for a Jessica Sanders, correct?”

Matt straightened up immediately. “I am. W-what’s going on?”

“Well, sir, we believe your wife has just been brought in with injuries sustained from a car accident.”

Matt sat absolutely still, almost as if he hadn’t heard the person on the other line. It didn’t process fully, at first, he supposed. How could something like that ever fully process?

“W-what?” He finally uttered. “No. No, that can’t be true. It isn’t.”

“I’m afraid it is, Mr. Sanders. She owns a jet black, 2010 Lamborghini, which was the vehicle involved in a collision with a Coca-Cola truck.”

Matt gasped, suddenly, and stood from the couch. The other four men still looked on with intense gazes and questioning eyes.

“Oh, my God. I’ll be right there.” He clicked the phone off but didn’t move. His right hand, which was the one gripping the phone, shook a little and he gulped down the lump that formed in his throat. This couldn’t be real, it just couldn’t be.

“Matt, what’s going on? Who was that?” Jimmy asked, now standing up from his place and approaching the bigger man slowly.

“I-it was…someone from Huntington Memorial,” Matt began, and Jimmy’s eyes widened a little more.

“What’d they want? Please don’t tell me it was about--”

“Jessie. She was in a car accident.”

The others in the room gasped sharply and stood up. Matt finally snapped out of his daze and was the first to move toward the door. Jimmy followed behind him, as did Brian, Zack, and Johnny.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jimmy rambled. “What else did they say?”

Matt didn’t answer, but merely walked faster down the hallway of the studio until all five men were able to exit the building. Matt realized just then that he didn’t have a car, as Jessica had taken the Lamborghini that they both had driven over there in, and cursed to himself.

“You can ride with me,” Jimmy informed him, brushing past and into the parking lot. Brian and Zack got into their own car, while Johnny followed Matt and Jimmy, as he, too, had driven there with the drummer.

Matt scurried into the passenger seat, and was absolutely restless the whole ride to the hospital. His hands fidgeted in his lap, legs tense and shaky, and lips trembling as though he might just burst out in tears. Jimmy watched him nonchalantly from the corner of his eye, and was somewhat surprised at the lead singer’s antics. Johnny, who sat in the back, traded repeated glances with Jimmy through the rearview mirror, but said nothing and did his best to not stare at Matt’s trembling form.

Jimmy opened his mouth to speak, but was met with a wave of the hand from Matt’s part.

“Just…don’t,” He told the blue-eyed man. “I know, okay? I know.”

Jimmy nodded and didn’t push the subject. There would be time for that later, sure enough, but right now, it indubitably was not about fighting for Jessica’s honor; it was about making certain there would even be an honor to fight for.



Jimmy’s black Honda Accord skidded to a halt in the closest possible parking spot to the emergency room doors. Matt was the first out, tearing across the lot without bothering to see if Jimmy and Johnny were behind him, and slipping through the automatic doors as they opened.

The woman sitting behind the front desk noticed the rather tall man immediately when he approached, and eyed him suspiciously as if he could possibly be a deranged gunman, ready to open fire on the whole ward.

“Jessica Sanders,” Matt said immediately, just as Jimmy and Johnny burst onto the scene.

“One moment, please,” The nurse, whose nametag read Maria, replied. She turned to her computer and typed furiously, before clicking the mouse and raking her optics over the screen quickly. “Are you immediate family?”

“I’m her husband, and these are her brothers,” Matt replied, gaining a somewhat surprised glance from Johnny, but agreeing with the statement, nonetheless.

“Mrs. Sanders is in Trauma Room B and they’re prepping her for an emergency MRI scan to determine if she has any internal injuries they aren’t aware of, as well as to conclude the stability and welfare of the child she’s carrying.”

“I-is she okay? Do they know if she’s going to be okay?” Matt stuttered out.

“I can’t answer any of those questions, at the moment, sir. But I will notify her doctor’s that you’ve arrived and when they find out anything, they’ll come out and inform you.”

“That’s not good enough,” Jimmy said. “I want to talk to someone now. I need to know if she’s okay. We need to know if she’s okay! You can’t just let us sit out here wondering what the fuck is going on and if she’s even going to survive.”

“Sir, please take a seat in the waiting area and I’m sure someone will be with you shortly.”

“No, I want to fucking talk to someone,” Jimmy’s voice heightened dramatically, just as Brian and Zack entered through the doors and approached with prudent expressions on their faces. Matt still didn’t speak, as he leant against the desk with his head resting on one hand in deep thought of these ghastly circumstances.

“You can’t fucking deny me my right to talk to someone!” Jimmy continued.

The nurse picked up the phone, holding it menacingly in her right hand with threats of calling security spewing from her lips. Jimmy was about to continue, never having been the one to back down from someone, but Brian stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder, pulling him away from the scene. The rest of them followed and found empty seats in the waiting room. Matt threw himself down and buried his face in his hands.

It felt almost surreal, like the world around him had stopped and was now surrounding that one site of despair and tribulation. Even Jimmy, who was pacing back and forth, was like an artificial life form, just swimming around in a chasm of nothingness. The only thing that was real was Jessica; she was hurt, their unborn child was in jeopardy, and it was probably all his fault. Any and all traces of the egotistical behavior he’d been portraying before was gone, and replaced with a shell of a man that was fragile and scared. It seemed nothing would ever be okay at that moment.