Have Faith in Me

Jimmy Sullivan was a man of many words. Ever since he was a little boy, he was always considered the most outspoken of the bunch, and that was a well defended title. But he was accepted, respected, and loved by practically everyone. Yes, Jimmy was a nice guy…unless, of course, you messed with his family.

“I can’t fucking believe this.”

“I’m sorry, Jim. I truly am. You have no idea.”

“Damn right I have no idea. I have no idea what goes on in your fucked up head, Matt! What am I supposed to do here?”

“Do whatever you think is right. If you want to kick my ass, fine. I deserve it.”

Jimmy scoffed and shook his head. “I’m not going to kick your ass, Matt. God knows I want to, but I’m trying to think about what Jessie would want. I doubt she’d want me to beat the shit out of the father of her unborn child.”

Matt considered this, before nodding his agreement. “I guess you’re right. I really didn’t mean for any of this to happen, though, honestly. I’m just…God, I don’t even know.”

“That’s obvious.” Jimmy tightened his hold on Jessica’s hand and simply watched his sister closely. Under any other circumstance, the person who caused this would probably be in a coma by now; but he just could not do that to Matt. Sure, Jessica came first, but he also did care for Matt, as well. Not to mention, Jessica loved the hell out of the guy (for reasons Jimmy could not explain, especially now), and he knew he’d only hurt her more by hurting him. So, with an amazing amount of self-control, Jimmy talked to the other man, and laid it on quite thickly, because that was all he really could do to make himself feel better.

“Did you talk to the doctor?” Matt asked, trying his best to change the subject.

“Yes, and all I have to say is that she’d better wake up soon or I might not be able to hold back on what I want to do to you.” Matt sighed at that and hung his head low.

“I’m sor--”

“Stop saying you’re sorry. I don’t want to hear it. You’re fucking lucky I’m letting you stay with her, so don’t piss me off anymore,” Jimmy growled. “Matter of fact, go check on the other's for me. I’m sure they’d like an update on Jess. Maybe you could even ask the doc if they can come in and see her for a bit.”

Now, Matt wasn’t the type to take orders from anyone. The man from a mere couple hours ago would have probably stood right up and punched Jimmy for even thinking to speak to him that way. Things were…different at this precise moment, though. Matt was mournful, Matt was regretful, and more than anything, Matt just wanted everyone to know how deeply sorry he was. That was the main reason as to why he nodded, stood up, and exited the room.

“How is she?” Zack was the first to ask when he spotted the bigger man. Jessica and Zack had always been close. She wasn’t the type to trust other females very easily, saying on many occasions that they were all ‘spiteful bitches’; and Zack, being a male, but a very feminine one at that considering his current sexuality and relationship status, was pretty much the perfect candidate for a best friend.

“She’s still unconscious,” Matt replied. “Jimmy sent me out to give you guys an update, and to maybe see if you can come back and see her for a bit.”

“Jimmy sent you?” Brian asked, eyebrows furrowed and voice unsure. Matt sighed and nodded. “Since when do you respond to orders?”

“I’m not responding to orders, shit-head, I’m simply trying to make the situation a little easier by keeping the guy satisfied so he won’t feel the need to kick my ass anytime soon. I’d like to get more alone time with my wife and in order to achieve that, I need to be on his good side. She’d want that of me…” The others nodded soundlessly, and hung their heads. “Anyway, come on. Let’s just go back there and if anyone has something to say about, then we’ll send you guys back out.”

“H-how’s Jimmy doing?” Johnny asked, as he caught up with the bigger man, while Brian and Zack walked idly behind them.

“He’s alright, shorty,” Matt replied. “He was actually worried about you.”

“He shouldn’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

“Well, we know that. But you know how he is.” Matt ruffled his hair affectionately, surprising Johnny because the taller one was usually so hostile and reserved. Maybe this, what happened to Jess, was the kick in the ass he needed to realize how he acted just wasn’t working.

Johnny smiled and pushed the others hand away. “You’re messing up my do!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Matt said with a hint of sarcasm, and Johnny stuck out his tongue in return.

They walked back through the doors and down the hall toward Jessica’s room. Dr. Reynolds’ wasn’t anywhere to be seen, and that was somewhat relieving for the time being, as they could slip in and see Jess without getting the third degree or being told to leave.

Jimmy was still in the same place Matt left him when he returned, and he quickly moved back to his wife’s side, while the others lingered near the end of her bed.

“Hey, shorty,” Jimmy voiced, upon seeing Johnny was now in the room. “Are you okay?”

Johnny chuckled and moved to stand near the still sitting Jimmy. “I love how you ask if I’m okay when you’re the one with the hurt sister. On the contrary, I’m fine.”

Jimmy blushed just a bit and wrapped his arm around Johnny’s waist. “You know I can’t help it.”

“I know.” Johnny rested his hand on Jimmy's shoulder as he examined the girl lying on the bed with a sad expression. “She doesn’t look too bad, right?”

Matt shrugged as he caressed Jessica’s hand. “It could’ve been a lot worse, if that’s what you mean.”

Johnny nodded briefly, and the room fell quiet. There really wasn’t much to say at that point. Everyone was hoping, wishing, praying for the same thing: Jessica’s recovery and ultimate awakening. Nothing else really mattered until then. She was a part of the Avenged Sevenfold family; a huge part. The five men occupying that room had infinite amounts of love for Jessica, and it was painfully obvious none of them were leaving anytime soon. No matter what other plans had been set in motion prior to the tragedy, this was what came first.

“I, uh…” Jimmy began, catching everyone off guard. He wasn’t usually the type to stay quiet for too long. “I called my parents. They’re on their way down.”

Matt flinched just a bit. The Sullivan elders had always liked him, simply because Jessica had shielded them from the fights and problems they experienced. But this, what had occurred, was far more drastic than anything else. Jimmy had it in his right to spill every detail to them.

“Did you tell them?” Matt began. He had to know.

“Did I tell them what?” Jimmy asked, hardly interested.

“Did you tell them…about my and Jessica’s fight? Did you tell them it was my fault?”

The drummer now looked over at his friend. His jaw was set, almost as though he wanted to spit foul remarks but was using every ounce of self-control not to.

“No,” He finally said. “No, I didn’t tell them. They don’t deserve to be put in the middle of all this. All they’ve done is treat you with respect and welcome you into their home with open arms. And how do you repay them? You trash their daughter and-”

“Jimmy.” Johnny finally stepped in and shook Jimmy lightly in an effort to steer the elder man away from the approaching argument. “Just relax, okay?”

Jimmy took a deep breath and let it out smoothly. “I’m fine. I’m alright. Everything’s cool.”

Matt looked at his friend with an unreadable expression. Normally, he probably would have challenged the other man and started an all-out fight; but, for some reason, he stayed quiet. Considering the fact that Jimmy was being inexplicably lenient and doing numerous amounts of undeserved favors for his brother-in-law, Matt decided that was his reasoning.

“Thanks,” He mumbled, lowering his gaze to Jessica and stroking her hand.

“Don’t. I feel like shit for lying and covering for you, so don’t praise me. When my parents get here, I want you to leave and go to the waiting room; all of you. They need some time alone with her.”

Matt nodded, as did the others.

“This is going to be the worst fucking birthday ever,” Zack suddenly remarked, successfully reminding everyone the green-eyed man’s birthday was no more than two days away.

“Don’t say that,” Matt replied to his oldest friend. “If things work out the way we hope, she’ll be awake by then and everything will be okay.”

Zack nodded. “I know. It’s just…I don’t know. Can you imagine what it would be like for Christmas to come and-- never mind. Don’t listen to me. You guys know I fucking ramble when I’m nervous.”

Brian grinned and wrapped an arm around the younger man. “It’s alright. We all just have to stay optimistic, like Matt said.”

Matt smiled appreciatively and ran his hand over Jessica’s stomach. Her due date was April 14th, meaning she was about five months along as she lay unconscious in the hospital bed. Their son was probably the best birthday present Matt could ever ask for. He remembered when Jessica made her first visit to the OBGYN in August, when they’d been told she was with-child, Dr. Ozera informed them it was likely she’d gotten pregnant around the end of July. The couple had exchanged knowing glances, as thoughts of that night were mutually remembered, and blushes overtook them wholly.

A mournful expression crossed the singer’s face. It was so hard to think about happier times with Jessica when she wasn’t there to think about them with him. If he wasn’t such a hard ass, Matt realized he probably would have cried. It hurt, so very much; a harsh, pounding ache right in the middle of his chest, and it wasn’t going to leave until he had his wife back.