Bittersweet Sundown

On the next morning, Ash sat on a chair in Sanders’ back yard. Her head hurt and her eyes were buff and sore from last nights crying. The sun made it even worse but she just closed her eyes and enjoyed the warm rays of morning sun on her face. She felt horrible, she should have just let Brian leave last night. He was right, it’s not her business what he does with his life.

“Hey, what are you doing here alone?” she suddenly heard a voice behind her. Turning her head, she saw Matt, sitting down to the chair next to hers.

“I don’t know. Sunbathing?” Ash smiled weakly, squinting her sensitive eyes.

“A little early for that, don’t you think?” Matt laughed lightly, sliding his hand through his short hair.

“Probably. I’m just wallowing I guess. I’ll be out of it in a bit,” she promised, making another weak attempt to smile.

“Yeah, it was a shitty move Brian did last night. Sorry you had to hear this,” Matt turned serious.

“Don’t be. I should have just let him leave. But no, I had to go and stop him. I should know better by now,” Ash smiled sadly, turning her gaze down to her hands.

“Why do you care so much about what he says to you,” Matt asked. He had his doubts but he couldn’t be sure.

“I don’t know. He just irritates me more than anyone I’ve met this far,” Ash didn't want to tell him the actual reason. It was her secret and it had to stay that way.

Matt didn’t say anything to this, he just kept looking at her with interest. Somehow he suspected that there was more than Ash was willing to tell him. He’d noticed how sometimes Ash was looking at his friend when she thought no one would notice.

“Let’s go in. I really need a shower and you look like you need a coffee,” he decided to let the subject drop for now. He stood up and held out his hand for Ash, smiling down at her.

“Yeah, you do stink, mister,” Ash laughed, scrunching her nose and making a funny face, “like an ashtray filled with cheap alcohol.”

“Come on sassy,” Matt laughed, pushing her inside the slide doors.

They saw Val storming around the kitchen, making breakfast for everyone. Ash sat down on a bar chair, her elbows resting on the kitchen island, watching as her new friend gathered groceries from the fridge.

“Morning,” Ash greeted her while Matt left to take a shower.

“Oh, morning Ash. Did you sleep good?” Val smiled, continuing with the breakfast.

“Not really,” she sighed, rubbing her throbbing forehead.

“Here you go honey,” a while later Val set a steaming cup of coffee in front of her, smiling sympathetically at her.

“Thanks Mommy,” Ash picked at Val’s caring nature. She only smiled, resuming her cooking.

It seemed that most of the band members had stayed over last night, half of them still passed out on the living room. Soon, much fresher looking Matt wandered in to the kitchen, sniffing the air.

“I smell coffee,” he smiled, sitting down next to Ash.

“Just a minute honey, I have to finish frying these eggs first,” Val said, not turning around.

“If you don’t mind the milk and sugar then I can share mine with you if you want,” Ash said, pushing her cup closer to Matt.

“I love you ,” Matt said thankfully and took a big sip from her coffee before handing it back to her.

“What happened to you loving only me?” Val turned around, her hands on her hips and a stern look on her face.

“You didn’t give me coffee. You know I can’t live without coffee,” Matt pouted, raising his hands up protectively.

“And you trade our love for a cup of coffee so easily? I thought I meant more to you,” Val shook her head disappointed and turned back to the stove. Matt got up and walked to stand behind his wife, sliding his arms around her waist.

“Of course not. I never said that I love you less. Can’t I love you both at the same time?” he asked jokingly, kissing Val’s neck.

“I don’t know, I have to think about it,” Val said, turning around in his arms. Matt of course took advantage of the situation and kissed her lips.

Ash smiled at how sweet they were together, turning her gaze back to her coffee cup again. She didn’t want to invade their private moment. Moments later, Matt sat back down to where he was sitting earlier and cast a longing glance at Ash’s coffee cup again. Ash smiled, noticing that and took one last sip from it before handing it to Matt. It was a huge cup and there was almost half of the coffee still left.

“Here, you can have it all,” she said, Matt’s happy smile lifting her mood also.

“So, what’s on your mind?” Matt asked a moment later, observing the slumped down girl sitting next to him.

“Whats on MY mind? Ooh, that's a dangerous place to go!” Ash joked, shaking her head.

There was some shuffling behind them and Zack slumped down on a chair next to Matt.

“Did anyone make coffee yet?” he asked, yawing.

“Nope, you have to wait ‘til Val finishes making breakfast,” Matt said to him, taking a sip from his cup.

“Oh yeah, and where did you get your coffee then?” Zack looked suspicious, staring at the coffee cup in his hand.

“Actually it was Lee’s coffee, she shared it with me,” Matt announced kind of proudly, throwing his huge arm around Ash’s shoulders.

​“You lucky bastard,” Zack muttered, leaning his banging head down on the counter.

“Alright, I can make you guys some coffee,” Ash gave up and got her butt off the chair.

She quickly found coffee powder and filled the container with fresh water. Then she just stood beside the coffee maker with her side leaned against the counter, waiting for the coffee to drip into the can.

“Ash, can you hand me some plates?” Val asked, looking at her pleadingly.

“Sure babe,” Ash complied instantly, opening a cabinet over the coffee maker. She took out a pile of plates and set them beside the stove, where Val could easily reach them.

“Thanks honey,” she said smiling for a moment.

By this time, coffee had finished dripping and Ash took a new cup from the same cabinet where the plates were. She filled it up and set in front of Zack.

“Thank you sweetheart,” he thanked, taking a sip from his steaming hot coffee. He hissed loudly after burning his tongue, making everyone in the room laugh.

“Matt, do you want another cup of coffee?” Ash asked, not sitting down yet.

“Sure, thanks Lee,” he smiled, holding his cup out to her. Ash took it and filled it up again. She loved how he and Jimmy had started to call her Lee instead of using her full name or just the first part of it.

“Here you go,” she said, sliding now full cup in front of him. She sat down again, rubbing her sore eyes.

“You sure you’re okay?” Matt asked quietly, leaning closer to her. Ash just nodded her head, smiling a bit sadly to him.

She was moved that Matt was worried about her but she still didn’t want to talk about this. She had already said too much last night. Matt put his arm around her once again and gave her a supporting squeeze.

Soon another sleepy figure found his way to the kitchen. He noticed half full coffee can and walked straight to it, pouring himself a cup of black liquid. Then he turned around with a satisfied look on his face.

“I see the assassins have failed,” Ash whispered so only Matt could hear her, causing him to chuckle quietly. She wanted to run out of the kitchen but Matt’s hand was still holding her in place. So she refused to look up, keeping her gaze securely on her lap. Brian set his cup on the counter and stepped closer, ignoring Matt’s warning glare.

“Look Ash, I’m sorry about what I said yesterday. I didn’t mean it,” he tried to apologize, but Ash shook her head. She didn’t want to hear any of it.

“Save it. I don’t care,” she said, slipping out of Matt’s grip and started to walk away.

“No, wait. I really am sorry,” Brian tried to stop her by grabbing her hand. Ash pulled her hand harshly free and continued to walk away.

“Bri, let her go. She doesn’t wanna talk to you now,” Matt stopped him by getting up and stepping in front of him, blocking his way out of the kitchen.

“What? You’re on her side now?” Brian snorted, crossing his arm on his chest.

“Just give her time,” Matt sighed, going to sit down again.

Brian sighed and sat down on the chair Ash was sitting just moments ago. He wasn’t going to give up just yet. He needed to make it up to her.

May 20, 2010

I had another awful night, thanks to Brian. It seems that I can’t stay away from him. I knew it would get ugly but I still had to go and stop him. He wanted to drive home after drinking all evening, he was barely able to stand straight.

Anyway, his words hurt a lot. I really really should avoid him. Nothing good ever comes out between the two of us. I hate my heart so much :(