Bittersweet Sundown

Five hours later, Ash finally woke up. She found herself in a dark car, not remembering how she got there.

“Where are we?” she asked from Brian, yawning wider than her hand could hide.

“Almost in Jamestown,” he said tiredly, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Already? How did we get here? And when did you get a car?” she bombed him with a questions.

“I rented it at the airport. You were sleeping so hard that I couldn’t get you up,” he laughed lightly, trying to hide his own yawn.

“Next time don’t give small girls like me pills that are so strong,” Ash mumbled, yawning again.

“How did I supposed to know that they are too strong for you. I have to take two to get a good six hours sleep and I gave you only one,” Brian complained, he didn’t like to be the one at fault.

“Well, you know that now,” she smarted, turning her head to look out at the side window. She didn’t want Brian to see her smiling. Brian yawned again, not succeeding in hiding it this time.

“Stop there, I’ll drive rest of the way,” Ash said, pointing at the empty roadside.

“In the middle of the highway? Are you insane?” he almost screamed, turning to look at her.

“Do you see anyone behind us? There isn’t a single car on all this two miles I can see,” Ash laughed. She knew it was a crazy idea but it was almost in the middle of the night and there really wasn’t anyone beside them in sight.

“You’re serious?” Brian was in between. He was tired but he didn’t wanna kill himself either.

“Yes. You’re tired, I’m not. Besides, you driving in this state is not safer than to stop for a second on an totally empty road and let me behind the wheel,” Ash tried to reason, seeing Brian hesitate.

Sighing, he gave up and stopped the car, driving as close to the roadside as possible. Making sure that there wasn’t a car coming, he got out. Ash slid herself quickly behind the wheel, not bothering with getting out. Brian sat on her now empty seat and fastened his seat belt. Ash had hers already on when she pulled back on the road.

After driving for less than five minutes, she noticed Brian was already sleeping. Smiling softly, she turned the radio down a little and slipped in her iPod. She focused her attention on the dark road ahead and listened to the music coming randomly from the speakers around her.

Some time later she crossed the town line and was relieved to see the streetlamps. She’d never liked driving in the dark. B.O.B’s Airplanes started to play and half the song later, Ash couldn’t resist singing along quietly.

“Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now,” she sang, keeping her voice as a whisper.

“And what would you wish for then?” Brian asked, stirring beside her.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?” Ash asked, feeling bad for letting her feelings get the ​best of her.

“No, don’t worry,” he said, sitting up from his slumped position. He yawned, stretching his hands behind his head, as much as the low roof allowed. Ash pulled into her regular parking spot, in front of a fancy looking apartment house. Not seeing Sean’s car anywhere, she exhaled deeply, relieved.

“Well, get your bag and let’s go up. I have no idea what is waiting for us there but I hope there is still a bed for you to sleep some more,” she muttered, wondering if Sean had already taken his things away.

“We can always go to a hotel, so don’t fret,” Brian smiled, trying to stop her worrying.

Together they walked up the stairs and Ash opened the door with slightly shaking hands. She was being attacked by all kinds of emotions. She was angry at Sean, but at the same time it still hurt. This was her home for three years, her home she shared with Sean. She took a few steps and stopped in the middle of the entrance hall, looking around and towards the living room.

Brian closed the door behind them and dropped his bag to the floor. Not bothering to remove her shoes, Ash walked to the living room, remembering how she and Sean had sat on the couch watching movies on Saturday nights. A lone tear wanted to make his way down her cheek, but then she suddenly remembered that on all those evenings, Sean never reached over his hand and pulled her close. He never was one for physical closeness. Not wanting to cry in front of Brian, she tried to remember all those not so good sides of their relationship. It wasn’t hard cause there was plenty of them. Like how he always found some tiny thing to nag about and almost never said a good word when he was content with Ash. Or like how he never kept his promises but expected Ash to keep her words, all his selfishness and keeping his feelings hidden. Well, all except anger and frustration. Taking a deep breath, she turned to Brian and smiled weakly.

“I’m sure you want to catch some sleep, so bathroom is down there and I’ll get you a new set of bed sheets,” she instructed, pointing to the bathroom door.

When Brian disappeared to the direction shown to him, she set her bag down and walked to the bedroom. She found it exactly how she left it a month ago. This made her wonder, did Sean stay here even a one night after she left? Sighing, she stripped old sheets from bed, tossing them carelessly at the floor and took clean ones from the closet. She was just laying the blanket back on the bed when Brian appeared to the doorway.

“Here you go mister, all clean,” Ash gestured at the bed, taking a step to the side.

“Are you coming to sleep to?” he asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“No, I’m not tired at all and I’d be just tossing around and disturbing you. You get some sleep, I’ll go sort through my things I have in the living room,” she said, walking to the door at the same time. “I’ll try to be quietly.”

“Okay,” Brian compiled and started to get his clothes off.

Ash walked back to her bag and kicked off her sneakers, that way she was able to move around more quietly. Almost five hours later, she had cleared out all the living room, kitchen and bathroom. That left only bedroom but this had to wait for now, she didn’t want to wake Brian up. He deserved a good night sleep.

“So this is the place you lived?” Jimmy shimmered in to the room, curiously looking around.

“Yeah,” Ash said, stretching her hands up.

“Hey, isn’t that Brian’s bag?” he squinted his eyes at the bag on the floor.

“Yeah,” Ash answered quietly, waiting for Jimmy to explode.

“Where is he? I’m gonna kill that motherfucker,” he stormed to the kitchen, looking for his friend.

“Jims, wait. Don’t. He has been really friendly and nice. Which is weird. But I already gave him one last chance and I don’t want you to make him mad now,” Ash stood in front of him, holding her hands against his chest. Jimmy looked down at her, worrying that she’d lost her mind.

“Why?” he asked, not understanding her.

“I actually don’t know. He looked kind of miserable and he needed to get away, so I just gave in. I’m taking the risk and I’m ready to deal with the consequences,” she went to sit down on the couch again, Jimmy following behind her.

“I still think that it’s a bad idea,” he muttered, landing beside her.

“Well, it’s too late anyways. And he’d be stupid to fuck up his last chance,” Ash smirked, crossing her arms on her chest.

“He’ll be dead if he fucks up,” Jimmy said with a thoughtful expression.

“Sorry, have to go. Later,” he kissed her cheek suddenly and disappeared.

May 28, 2010

I’m at the apartment now. It’s weird how your brain remembers mostly good things after you split up with someone, no matter how much bad was in the relationship before. I’ve remembered a lot of good things from the beginning, when I was still happy with Sean.

I found that necklace Sean bought me on our trip to Fargo. We had fun there. It was before he changed to that cold and selfish person he is now.

Anyway, I’ve packed all, except what’s left in the bedroom. I don’t wanna wake up Brian. I’m stunned that he came with me. I don’t know why. But he has been behaving and I’m actually glad that I don’t have to be alone here.

Stretching herself while standing ​up, Ash decided to make a cup of coffee and look for something to snack. Opening the fridge, she found it full of groceries gone bad. She felt the urge to clean it up, to toss everything away but then decided to leave it like that. After all, it was Sean who left these things there, so he can clean it up. Sighing, she crashed down on the couch, only to hear the bedroom door open.

“Morning sleepyhead,” she greeted, smiling at a very sleepy looking Brian. He had stripes on his cheek and his hair was a mess. He was wearing only his jeans, showing off his bare and muscular chest, covered in tattoos.

“No function before coffee,” he muttered, coming to sit down beside her.

“Well, I do have coffee, but no milk. And everything that was once edible is died long ago. So I’m afraid we have to go out if we want anything for breakfast,” Ash explained, leaning her head back.

“Okay, let me just use the toilet first,” Brian got up and sauntered in that direction.

Ten minutes later he came out, looking much more awake. He crouched down to his bag and took a clean shirt, pulling it on.

“Ready?” Ash asked, getting up from the couch.

“Yeah,” Brian said and went to put his sneakers on. Ash followed him.