Bittersweet Sundown

“Queen of the world has arrived. We can go now,” Ash yelled happily, causing bus driver to shake his head, laughing. Truth was that she wasn’t happy at all and she was trying to hide it. She really felt like sisters with Dani and it hurt her to leave so soon.

“Yo, queen of the world! Get your royal ass in here, we’re in back,” she heard Dead Guy yell.
She was still standing in front of the bus, watching as bus driver maneuvered their big vehicle back on the road.

Ash walked slowly towards the sounds of guys talking something and soon saw that guy with black hair and snake bites standing with his back to her, trying to explain something to others who were sitting in front of him.

Smirking evilly she set her bag and helmet down quietly, then sneaked towards him, hoping that others wouldn’t give her away. She could see Mr. Dimples smile when he saw her but he kept his mouth shut and so did others. So Ash continued her path to her unsuspecting victim. Getting close enough, she reached her arms on either side of him and grabbed him suddenly by his sides, whispering boo in his ear at the same time. Poor guy almost jumped out of his sneakers and ran to the other side of the couch, screaming. He stopped right behind Brian, holding a hand over his heart. All of the guys laughed so hard, they were holding hands over their stomachs with tears pouring out of their eyes. Guy with the snake bites started to yell at Ash but she couldn’t understand half of his words because everyone was laughing so loud. But she could see that he was utterly displeased and it made her only laugh harder.

“Sorry mister, I can’t hear you,” Ash managed to say through laughing. Her sides were already getting sore, she hadn’t laughed so hard in a long time.

“Do you want to kill me?” he asked sternly, coming to sit down on a couch, looking so not happy at all.

“Hell no. Why would I want that?” Ash asked back, trying so hard to stop laughing.

“I don’t know. Why do you sneak up behind people and scare the life out of them?” he questioned, crossing his arms on his chest.

“I just couldn’t resist. I’m sorry,” she apologized, fighting to remain serious. It was difficult and others still laughing wasn’t helping at all.

“Fine. But don’t ever do that again,” he muttered, his face still dark as a storm cloud.

“Okay, I’m sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?” Ash asked, stepping in front of him. He thought for a moment before his face lit up with a smile.

“You can make me a cup of cocoa,” he said, beaming like a child. He looked so cute that Ash couldn’t resist smiling back at him.

“Sure,” she agreed, looking around to find where this kitchen corner would be. Making almost a 360°, she realized that she had been standing right in front of it earlier. Ash walked back there and pushed her bag aside a little.

​“What’s with the helmet?” Mr. Dimples asked, seeing it when she moved her bag.

“Oh, I had a bike. I didn’t plan on traveling across the States on a bus you know. Some asshole thought that I don’t need it and stole it somewhere in Nebraska,” Ash explained unhappily.

She found a bag of cocoa powder on the counter. Seeing a small fridge they had there, she opened it and pulled out a carton of milk.

“What bike did you have?” he continued to ask.

“Fireblade,” she said, looking around again. She didn’t see a stove anywhere. “Hey do you guys have a stove here? And some pot? Or at least a microwave oven?” she asked, turning to them, still holding that milk carton in her hand.

“Yeah we have but why do you need them? We have a water heater,” Johnny asked, stunned.

“Water? Cocoa with water? I’m not making you guys something so disgusting,” Ash objected, shaking her head with terror.

Not saying a word, Dead Guy got up and took a pot out of the upper cabinet, then from other he pulled out a small electrical stove. After plugging it in, he smiled at Ash and motioned for her to continue.

“Thank you, Dead Guy,” she acknowledged his help and emptied whole carton of milk to the pot he gave her. Then, she turned on the stove and placed the pot on it.

“Dead Guy?” he questioned, standing beside her.

“Well you are dead, right? And I don’t know your names, besides Val, Johnny and Brian, so that’s my nickname to you for now,” Ash explained, stirring the milk in between.

“Jimmy,” he announced thoughtfully,“ but you can call me Dead Guy if you like. It’s kind of cool.”

“Okay, from now on you’re Jimmy the Dead Guy,” Ash smiled to him, seeing from his face that he liked his new nickname.

“Sweet,” Jimmy said before going back to his seat on the couch.

“So you have nicknames to the rest of us?” Mr. Dimples asked, gesturing to himself and that guy Ash just scared, sitting next to him.

“Cups?” she asked before answering, turning herself around again.

“Cabinet over the fridge,” Johnny instructed and she turned herself on that way. She took out eight cups and set them on the counter, then she turned herself around once again.

“Mr. Dimples, although if I remember correctly then you are Shadow something,” Ash said, looking at him and feeling slightly embarrassed. What if someone gets offended by her stupid names, she thought.

“My stage name, it’s M. Shadows actually. My real name is Matt Sanders,” he introduced himself properly. So he was this Matt Brian had mentioned earlier, Ash realized. Nodding to him she turned to guy sitting next to him.

“Jumps out of his sneakers,” she told, thinking that up just a second before. Truth was that she didn’t have a name for him yet but she didn’t wanna leave him out, cause she had names for all the rest. That name caused everyone to start laughing again.

“Zack Baker,” the guy muttered darkly, flipping others off.

“Blond cutie,” Ash continued, turning herself towards Johnny.

​“Jonathan Seward, preferably Johnny,” he smiled at her friendly and Ash smiled back. He seemed like a sweet guy to her.

“Oh, me, mee, meee,” Jimmy jumped on his seat, his hand up in the air.

“You had your turn Jimmy the Dead Guy,” Ash scolded him playfully.

“I know, but I didn’t tell you my full name, or my stage name,” he protested with an excited grin.

“Well, go ahead then,” she urged him on when he didn’t continue.

“James Owen Sullivan and The Reverend Tholomew Plague, at your service milady,” Jimmy said with pride.

“Nice,” Ash let him know she liked it and then turned around to check the milk. It was on a verge of boiling so she switched off the stove and measured enough cocoa powder into the pot. After stirring it thoroughly, she poured it into the cups and handed first one to Val and after that one to each man. She stopped in front of Jimmy, totally forgetting that he was a ghost.

“Oh, thanks sweetie but I can’t eat,” he told her, not feeling sad at all. I’m sure I would miss all these good things like chocolate and energy drink, and ice cream, Ash thought puzzled. It didn’t seem to bother Jimmy at all.

“I can drink it,” Brian said, taking that cup from Ash. He had now two cups in front of him. Shrugging it off, Ash handed rest of the cups to others and finally sat down with her own cup in hand. She could see that no one, except Brian and Val, were brave enough to try first. She almost started laughing again.

“What? It’s not poisoned, you all saw what I put in there,” she defended the drink she made.

“No we don’t think that,” Matt said, looking at his cup suspiciously.

“Then what? Haven’t you had a cocoa based on milk before?” Ash asked with wide eyes, not believing this.

“No, actually I haven’t,” Zack said thoughtfully, eyeing his cup also.

“I have, it’s good,” Val said happily, she seemed pleased with her cacao. Matt got his courage together and tried, taking a small sip. After swallowing it his face lit up.

“Mmm. I’m never drinking cocoa with water again,” he said, showing those cute dimples of his and took another sip. Seeing him happy with his cocoa, others dared to try too. And they all were satisfied. Ash couldn’t understand how anyone could even drink cocoa made of water, it was so tasteless.

“You didn’t finish with our nicknames before,” Zack remembered suddenly, turning to look at the girl next to him.

“Oh, right. Hmm. Rude Guy,” Ash continued where she left earlier, turning to the next one beside Jimmy, which happened to be once again way too serious and dark Brian.

“Brian Haner Jr.” he said, not even looking at her. He already knew why Ash gave him this name and he obviously didn’t care to explain it to others.

“Mr. Bluebeard,” she turned to the next one, that older guy with weird beard.

“Mike Portnoy, I’m sweating my tats off on this invisible man’s behalf,” he introduced himself, pointing approximately at Jimmy.

“Oh, he can’t see me, he only hears my voice,” Jimmy explained, obviously seeing ​that confused look on Ash’s face.

“And Angel,” she lastly smiled at Val. She looked surprised.

“Why?” Val asked with a smile.

“Because only an angel can be so beautiful and sweet as you are. And I like you,” Ash told her honestly. Val seemed touched by this, smiling shyly.

“So can I sleep here?” Ash asked, gesturing at the couch she was sitting on. She could see how all of them tried to hide their yawns and she was pretty sure they were worn out from their show.

“No, we have a free bunk. I just have to move our bags to somewhere else,” Matt said, standing up and walking towards bunk area. Ash ran after him. Seeing how small spaces on those bunks were, she stopped him.

“Wait. I can’t sleep here, I’ll get claustrophobic,” she said, putting her arm on top of his so he wouldn’t have to lift that bag in vain.

“You’re serious,” Matt half asked, half mentioned. Ash nodded her head in shame, looking at her sneakers. “Oh. Okay, then you can sleep on the couch. But believe me, it’s not comfortable,” he informed her.

“That’s okay. I can take it,” she shrugged, not caring how comfortable it would be. She had been sleeping in much more worse conditions. Like on the floor. Besides it would be only for a few nights.

“Are you sure? You can try and if you don’t like it then go on a couch,” Matt tried to talk her over.

“No, I’m sure I will be fine there,” Ash answered firmly, she had made her decision.

“Okay, as you wish my lady,” he bowed jokingly and then stepped in front of a closet. After pulling out a few blankets and a pillow, he took them back to couches.

“Is there something else I can do for you, miss?” he asked, after placing those things on a couch.

“You don’t have to treat me like a princess,” Ash laughed, sitting right beside the mountain of blankets.

“But isn’t it every woman’s dream to be treated like a princess?” Matt asked, pretending to be stunned.

“You’re right. Keep treating me like a princess,” Ash changed her mind, nodding eagerly and smiling like a child. All guys started to laugh at this. All except Brian, he had almost unnoticeable tiniest smirk on his lips. He had been sulking all the time and obviously planned to continue with it. But he was still the most beautiful guy Ash had ever seen.

Slowly everyone got up from their seats.

“Goodnight princess,” Zack wished before walking to his bunk. Johnny and Mike followed him, wishing simply goodnight.

“Goodnight princess,” Matt said and turned to walk away.

“What? No kiss?” Ash picked, she didn’t think he would turn around and walk back to her.

“Whatever my princess wishes,” he said, smiling, leaning down to her. After kissing Ash on the cheek, he ruffled her hair and walked away, leaving her with Val and Brian.

“Can I have a kiss from you too? My other cheek is feeling kind of jealous,” Ash ​said to Brian, trying to look sweetly innocent. She was so sure he would just walk away.

“Sure”, Brian said, leaning down to her. He kissed her, slowly, to her other cheek, his lips lingering on her skin a little longer. It felt good and Ash had to fight with wanting to really kiss him.

“Sweet dreams Ashlee,” he whispered before standing up again.

“Sweet dreams Brian,” Ash wished back, watching him walk away. “Goodnight guys”, she yelled a little louder, so all of them could hear her. There was a bunch of mumbles for an answer and everything fell silent then. Now, being alone with Val, Ash felt a little embarrassed of asking his boyfriend to kiss her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think he would actually kiss me,” she apologized, looking down in shame.

“It’s okay, it was just one innocent kiss to your cheek. I’m not jealous about such things. As long as it won’t go further from that,” Val said, coming to sit beside her.

“Don’t worry, I’m not interested in Matt that way,” Ash whispered to her. “Besides I kind of have a boyfriend, I can’t do anything any way”.

“Kind of? Are you two having problems?” Val asked, sounding slightly curious.

“Well, only problem he has, is me leaving him alone for a couple of weeks. It’s the first time I’m away from him in three years,” Ash told her bitterly.

“What? Doesn’t he trust you?” Val questioned.

“Well I don’t blame him. We don’t have the best relationship and I’ve known from the start that we would split up eventually anyways. Maybe he’s sensing this too.”

“Maybe you should split up then. There’s no point in being in a relationship when you’re unhappy,” Val sympathized, looking at the girl with sad eyes.

“Yeah, I know. I just can’t leave him. He loves me and I don’t have the guts to hurt him so much. And I love him too. He just doesn’t know how to make me happy,” Ash muttered, feeling sadness crawl over her.

“Don’t worry honey, you’ll find that right one for you. Just keep your eyes open,” Val tried to console her, hugging her with one hand.

“I wanna find him but I can’t. Not when I’m still with Sean,” Ash said smiling sadly.

It was surprisingly easy to get along with Val. She was happy about it, ‘cause she was usually that shy girl who didn’t find friends easily. She didn’t like to open up to people, but with Val she found it easy to talk.

“Then leave him. You’ll be thanking yourself later,” Val smiled to her. “Well, I better go to sleep too. Goodnight Ash,” she wished, hugging Ash once again.

“Goodnight Val”, Ash returned her wish and watched her walk away.

Being alone at last she had time to think about all that had happened during the day. Sighing she leaned her head back and stared at the sealing, knowing that she couldn’t sleep anyway, it didn’t matter that she was completely wasted. She hadn’t been able to sleep properly for at least two months now, not even a one night. For some unknown reason, her sleep pattern was totally messed up. Now she was starting to get fed up with this constant tiredness her sleeping problems caused.

Yawning, she stared at the sealing, not really seeing it. She had to turn off the lights but feeling too lazy to get up she just sat there.

After fifteen minutes, she forced herself to finally get up. She took her iPod from her bag then looked around for the light switch. ​After searching for a while, she found the switch and turned off the lights.

Taking small and careful steps, she sneaked past the punks, towards the front of the bus and found her way to a small seating area with a small table and windows. She had seen this place earlier when she came on this bus and it was the only place where there was a window. She sat down and looked out, into the dark night, not seeing almost anything, only some lonely lights at distance. But it was better than plain sealing. Using her phone as a flashlight, she opened her small black notebook.

May 4, 2010 (well, technically it’s fifth already)

Dear diary! I met THE most gorgeous man on planet earth today. He has black hair and deep, dark brown eyes. Oh, and an awesomely sexy body. I haven’t seen him really smile yet, so I don’t know about that. I’m sure it must be awesome too. But of course there’s nothing perfect in this fucked up world. He’s arrogant and his ego is the size of a moon. And he seems to hate me, although there’s no reason for that. We just met and he acted like that before we even talked a word. And of course he’s married, and I still have a boyfriend, so no candy for me this time :(

I feel myself strangely safe, considering the fact that I am on a bus with six guys, including the bus driver, I just met few hours ago, supposedly going to LA. I have always been too cautious and thought my actions carefully through. Now I act opposite to my usual behavior and this alone should trouble me. But I feel like it was the right thing to do. I just can’t understand myself anymore. But everyone keeps saying that you have to take chances, so I’m taking one now. Well see where it takes me :)

Oh my god. I’d almost forgot the craziest thing. I also met a ghost today. I call him Jimmy the Dead Guy. He is SUPER AWESOME. He’s the happiest and funniest person I’ve ever met. It’s so sad that he had to die. But he’s sticking around, refusing to leave this world. It made me wonder that is it really possible to just stay here after you die, if you really really want to. If that’s so then why didn’t Kyle stay? Didn’t he want to stay with me?

Anyway, I’m the first person who's able to see Jimmy outside his selected group of friends and family. He’s pretty excited about that. I swear he’ll talk me to death :D

After closing her diary, she started to type a text to Dani.

Hey sweetie. Just letting you know that I’m okay. They seem
normal enough and are sleeping now. So, have wonderful dreams
and I’ll talk to you tomorrow honey. A.