Turning Tables

Kalvin ran from the house without a word. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed so hard I couldn’t catch my breath. “What the fuck did I do?” I laid my head back against the headboard and stared at Brian with tears flowing down my face. “Oh God, I’m so sorry Brian.”

“You were drunk,” he answered with a careless shrug. “Get dressed and come in the kitchen, I made coffee and we’re going to talk.”

I dressed and met him at the kitchen table, I had a coffee mug waiting on me and Brian was patiently sitting across from where the mug sat. “I don’t know what to say,” I whispered after sipping on the coffee. “I don’t remember much. I know that Kalvin’s friends were buying us drinks, I remember having four shots and three drinks before everything kind of blurs together.”

“I came home expecting to find you in bed waiting for me like every other time,” Brian smiled sadly at his coffee cup; he wouldn’t look up at me. “I walked in and found some guy lying beside you in our bed, in my spot.”

“I understand if you want a divorce,” I choked on my words; I closed my eyes to stop the tears. “I won’t make up an excuse; I won’t do that to you. I made a mistake, I should have-“

“I don’t want a divorce,” Brian took a sip from his cup. “I know things happen and I know you. If I didn’t know you better than myself, I would want a divorce. You didn’t do this on purpose, you wouldn’t do that. You forgave me after I had sex with Trish when she drugged me.”

“You were drugged, I was drunk. I did it,” I tried to make sense of everything myself. “I don’t know how to make you understand how sorry I am, how much I hate myself right now.”

“You should but we’ll work this out,” Brian nodded his head slowly. “I love you, I forgive you.”

“I love you so much,” I wanted to stand up and kiss him but I held back. “I’m going to go take a shower, okay?”

“Yeah,” he nodded his head and waved me off. I didn’t come out for two hours and I only came out when Brian threatened to kick the door in because he thought I was trying to hurt myself. Really I was just lying in the scalding water, trying to scrub off every inch of skin that Kalvin touched. I didn’t want any man’s fingers on me besides Brian’s and it made me sick to my stomach to know that I had let someone else touch me in such intimate ways.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“You fucked who?” Keran was lying on the couch with a bucket by her legs. “Where am I?”

“Your couch, Zacky’s in the kitchen making breakfast,” I sat down beside the couch, on the floor and pulled my legs up to my chest. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Let me start breathing again and come to life before you start talking,” she groaned and sat up feebly, she leaned back against the cushions and groaned loudly. “What the fuck hit me?”

“A semi,” I grumbled and rubbed the back of my head. “The same mother fucker who plowed me over.”

“I need coffee,” she blinked slowly. “And some Xanax.”

“Wake the fuck up,” I grumbled and reached out to punch her kneecap, she groaned again and smacked me in the back of the head. “Don’t fucking hit my head, bitch. I’m having serious problems right now and I need help.”

“Like I said, let me get some coffee and Xanax,” she stood up and trudged into the kitchen, she came back with a coffee mug that was steaming and full to the lip, she waved me after her to the back porch and I followed her. “Start explaining what’s wrong.”

“Do you remember anything from last night?” I asked her, to start off.

“A few things, what’s the main thing?” she asked taking a sip from her coffee cup.

“Kalvin, mainly,” I reminded her, with a hesitant look away from her.

“Oh yeah, that hot ass,” she whistled lowly. “He was pretty.”

“I slept with him, Keran and Brian walked in the house to find us in our bed asleep,” I was beginning to tear up again. “I don’t remember anything but meeting him, everything else is a blank.”

“You-“Keran sat her coffee down and leaned forward, staring at me silently. “Oh fuck, Bliss.”

“That’s why I came over here,” I absently played with a rock under my foot. “Brian went to get the kids, I had to get away, he’s killing me.”

“What the hell did he do? Is Kalvin dead and buried somewhere in the back yard?” Keran’s eyes bugged out of her sockets.

“He let Kalvin go, he threatened him but he let him go. He’s not mad at me, Keran. It’s literally ripping me apart, I think I could have handled this better if he would have been mad and hated me because I hate myself,” I sat back in the chair and pulled my feet up in the chair with me. “God damn it, I don’t understand why he’s acting so normal about this.”