‹ Prequel: Get It Right
Sequel: Go Your Own Way ›
Status: Finished
Turning Tables
.18
“He knows how it feels, when Trish did that to him-“Keran tried to reason but I cut her off.
“No, Trish drugged him and he had no clue. I was drunk, I did it to myself,” I frowned and rubbed my forehead. “Drunken actions are sober thoughts or something like that.”
“I hate this for you, Bliss,” Keran didn’t know what to say, she just stared at me. “I don’t know what to do to help you.”
“Nothing to do,” I frowned and stood up. “I love you, babe.”
“I love you too,” she met me half way for a hug. “Where you going?”
“Jump off a bridge,” I grumbled to myself and earned a smack in the back of the head for it, I smiled softly and waved on my way out.
“No, really,” she glared at me.
“I’m going to the beach,” I muttered and left without another word. I ended up walking to the beach instead of driving my car; I walked down the shore until I couldn’t see any civilization in the distance. I walked to the water’s edge and sat down so that the water could lap at my bare thighs, almost hitting my shorts hem. I lay back in the sand and covered my face with my hands; I breathed deep and let it all out. I cried until I couldn’t force anymore out. I was a failure to myself, everything had done great in my life, to great and this was the catch, I’d have everything I’d ever want but I would allow myself to fuck it up. I grabbed my hair in my hands and pulled it in frustration; I closed my eyes and sighed, giving up crying. In the middle of my breakdown, my cell phone went off. I pulled it out of my pocket with difficulty and put it to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hey Blister,” Brian answered my greeting. “Where are you?”
“At the beach,” I tried to hide the fact that I had been crying but I knew he’d know, Brian knew me better than I even knew myself.
“Where?” his voice told me that if I didn’t tell him where, he’d find me regardless.
“Down from Keran’s house, just keep walking to the right,” I answered and sighed, rubbing my hand down my face. “I don’t think you need to come-“
“A little late,” I sighed softly as Brian sat down in the sand beside me; he ended the call and put his phone back in his pocket. “I asked Keran which way you walked. Why are you here?”
“Trying to have a nervous breakdown but I’m failing at it, just like I’m failing at life,” I shrugged my shoulders and tried to ignore him.
“You were so easy to forgive me when I fucked up, why won’t you let me forgive you?” he asked softly, I had to force myself not to look up or I’d start crying like a baby.
“Because the situation is different,” I argued with him, determined for him to realize I screwed our life up; I needed to not be forgiven.
“Every situation is different; we still did something we shouldn’t have. I love you enough to forgive you,” he argued back but in a soft tone. “Just like you loved me enough to forgive me.”
“I’m such a wreck, why do you love me so much?” I started to cry again, even though I was dry of tears.
“Because I always have, I don’t want to quit. You’re all I want,” he answered easily as he focused out at the water. “Why don’t you see that?”
“Because you don’t deserve someone like me, I’m not good enough for you and I never have been,” I shrugged my shoulders and held my legs close to my chest. “I’ve been terrified since day one that maybe you’d wake up one day and realize that you could do better and I’d lose you. I still am.”
“I’m not going anywhere; I’ve tried to tell you that you can’t get rid of me because I’m not ready to go. I’m telling you, Bliss. You have nothing to worry about with me,” he scratched at his face and turned his head, leaning it against his arm. “I’ll be here for the rest of my life, with you at my side, even after we’re dead and gone.”
“I love you so much and all I ever do is disappoint you,” I whispered reaching out, holding my hand upwards. His large and calloused hand covered mine and squeezed it.
“We’ll work on it, one step at a time,” he nodded his head and pulled me close to him. “I think we all need to take a vacation, just us.”
“I think we need a vacation, we need to relax and rebuild our relationships,” I agreed with him, I closed my eyes and laid my forehead against his shoulder. “Tell me that you love me again, Brian.”
“I love you Bliss, until the afterlife and beyond,” he whispered touching his forehead against his forehead.
“No, Trish drugged him and he had no clue. I was drunk, I did it to myself,” I frowned and rubbed my forehead. “Drunken actions are sober thoughts or something like that.”
“I hate this for you, Bliss,” Keran didn’t know what to say, she just stared at me. “I don’t know what to do to help you.”
“Nothing to do,” I frowned and stood up. “I love you, babe.”
“I love you too,” she met me half way for a hug. “Where you going?”
“Jump off a bridge,” I grumbled to myself and earned a smack in the back of the head for it, I smiled softly and waved on my way out.
“No, really,” she glared at me.
“I’m going to the beach,” I muttered and left without another word. I ended up walking to the beach instead of driving my car; I walked down the shore until I couldn’t see any civilization in the distance. I walked to the water’s edge and sat down so that the water could lap at my bare thighs, almost hitting my shorts hem. I lay back in the sand and covered my face with my hands; I breathed deep and let it all out. I cried until I couldn’t force anymore out. I was a failure to myself, everything had done great in my life, to great and this was the catch, I’d have everything I’d ever want but I would allow myself to fuck it up. I grabbed my hair in my hands and pulled it in frustration; I closed my eyes and sighed, giving up crying. In the middle of my breakdown, my cell phone went off. I pulled it out of my pocket with difficulty and put it to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hey Blister,” Brian answered my greeting. “Where are you?”
“At the beach,” I tried to hide the fact that I had been crying but I knew he’d know, Brian knew me better than I even knew myself.
“Where?” his voice told me that if I didn’t tell him where, he’d find me regardless.
“Down from Keran’s house, just keep walking to the right,” I answered and sighed, rubbing my hand down my face. “I don’t think you need to come-“
“A little late,” I sighed softly as Brian sat down in the sand beside me; he ended the call and put his phone back in his pocket. “I asked Keran which way you walked. Why are you here?”
“Trying to have a nervous breakdown but I’m failing at it, just like I’m failing at life,” I shrugged my shoulders and tried to ignore him.
“You were so easy to forgive me when I fucked up, why won’t you let me forgive you?” he asked softly, I had to force myself not to look up or I’d start crying like a baby.
“Because the situation is different,” I argued with him, determined for him to realize I screwed our life up; I needed to not be forgiven.
“Every situation is different; we still did something we shouldn’t have. I love you enough to forgive you,” he argued back but in a soft tone. “Just like you loved me enough to forgive me.”
“I’m such a wreck, why do you love me so much?” I started to cry again, even though I was dry of tears.
“Because I always have, I don’t want to quit. You’re all I want,” he answered easily as he focused out at the water. “Why don’t you see that?”
“Because you don’t deserve someone like me, I’m not good enough for you and I never have been,” I shrugged my shoulders and held my legs close to my chest. “I’ve been terrified since day one that maybe you’d wake up one day and realize that you could do better and I’d lose you. I still am.”
“I’m not going anywhere; I’ve tried to tell you that you can’t get rid of me because I’m not ready to go. I’m telling you, Bliss. You have nothing to worry about with me,” he scratched at his face and turned his head, leaning it against his arm. “I’ll be here for the rest of my life, with you at my side, even after we’re dead and gone.”
“I love you so much and all I ever do is disappoint you,” I whispered reaching out, holding my hand upwards. His large and calloused hand covered mine and squeezed it.
“We’ll work on it, one step at a time,” he nodded his head and pulled me close to him. “I think we all need to take a vacation, just us.”
“I think we need a vacation, we need to relax and rebuild our relationships,” I agreed with him, I closed my eyes and laid my forehead against his shoulder. “Tell me that you love me again, Brian.”
“I love you Bliss, until the afterlife and beyond,” he whispered touching his forehead against his forehead.
