I Love You, but I Fear Love

"November, get your butt up! We have to go to school!" I groaned at the sound of Matthew's voice. I got up and looked around my new room in my new foster house.

The walls were plain white, as was every other piece of furniture in the small area. At least they let me choose out my own comforter, which was a bright shade of yellow.

I walked to my closet to find something to wear. I wanted something that would help me blend in to the other teenagers at my new school, though it was my first day and I didn't know what the fashion trends were.

I ended up deciding on a plain grey long sleeve shirt, a pair of black skinny jeans, and my beat up black high tops. Something in the corner of the closet on a hanger caught my eye. I pulled out a shirt and realized that it was the shirt that my friend had signed at the end of my junior year, a month before I left my old home. I read the messages and smiled, until I came upon one that made tears form in my eyes.

Nov, sweetie, I love you more than anything. We'll always be together, though you're far away. I love you, Henry.

Henry was my ex-boyfriend. A few days after school ended, after Henry dropped me off at home after a date, he got into a fatal car crash, killing him and injuring the other driver. I'm still getting over it.

Now, Henry's not the only boyfriend I've lost. I lost my boyfriend Ben about five years ago, when he drowned in a lake. Kevin was shot in a drive-by. And now Henry's gone. I've sworn to myself that I'll never fall in love. Ever.

"November!! Now!!" Matthew banged on my door, waking me from my flashback. I rolled my eyes at the impatience of my new foster brother. I grabbed my backpack and went downstairs. Matthew, Cara, and Hailey were all waiting for me. Matthew and Hailey are twins, and both in 11th grade. Cara is the youngest out of those who go to high school, seeing as she's in 9th grade.

"Alright, let's go." I said, and they all piled into the family car. I'm the oldest, so I'm in charge of driving.

I got to the high school and was overwhelmed with how many students I saw. It took me forever to find a parking space, and when I finally did, all three of my foster siblings took off in one way or another, leaving me totally stranded. I sighed and grabbed my bag.

I walked to the commons area for seniors and found a bench to sit on. I looked around, just kind of watching the people go by.

My eyes fell on a group of five boys. One was incredibly tall, with brown hair, glasses, and a thin, sort of awkward body, but looked younger than the others. Another had a big poof of orange-ish hair and had big, full lips. The one next to him was a larger size and had bright blonde hair. The boy next to him was incredibly short, though he looked to be a couple inches taller than me, and he had short blackish, brownish hair.

When my eyes fell on the final boy, I was shocked to see his pretty hazel eyes staring into mine. He had a few pieces of shortish black hair falling in front of his eyes and his slender body was sort of turned toward me.

He flashed me a small smile.

Don't smile back. You know what happens after that. It always does. I scolded myself. I wish I would've listened. I gave him a small smile and felt a slow blush creeping onto my cheeks as his smile grew. I looked down and was happy when the bell rang.

Saved by the bell.

I got up and walked to my first class, science. I walked into the classroom and walked to the back. I pulled out a stool and sat down. I took out my notebook and my pen and waited for the class to start.

Right before the bell rang, two boys slipped through the doorway. I recognized them as two of the boys from this morning. One was the really short one and the other was the boy with the pretty hazel eyes.

They walked to the back and split off. The short one walked to a lab table in front of mine and the other pulled out the chair next to me.

"Hi, I'm Gerard." He whispered because the teacher had started talking. I glanced over to see his expectant eyes watching me.

"I'm November." I whispered back. His eyes lit up a bit at my response.

"That's a pretty name." He said with a slight bit of awe. I found myself smiling a bit. It actually wasn't all that great of a name. My mother, whom I never met, named me after the month I was born in. My middle name, Grey, was given to me because it was cloudy outside. Original, right?

"Thank you." I smiled and he smiled back. Then, we went back to listening to the teacher, occasionally casting glances at each other.

I guess my promise to myself is broken.