Right Girl

John dropped me home while trying to comfort me in a little way of his--- singing love songs that used to make me smile while thinking of Garrett but now, I don’t even get its meaning anymore.

“John, thanks for singing. But it not making things a lot more easy for me” I confessed.

“Oh, sorry. I thought you like my voice” He sighed.

“It’s not that, John! I like your voice. It’s just.. I can’t understand the meaning of those songs anymore. Why would you write about love when you are not even sure if it’s going to last? Isn’t it just a waste of your time?” I bit my lip and scratched my forehead.

“I’ll just stop this crap because I’m sure you don’t want to listen to this shit” I exclaimed and burried my head in my jacket.

“If it makes you feel better, just continue” John forced a smile while focusing on the road.

“Thanks John. It’s just that when you hear a love song, they sing it with so much feelings but in the end, not all of those love will end up in a happy ending” I continued as I try to make things more understandable for John.

“I get you, Sam. Even though I kind of drunk, I understand you very very well. Life is unfair, we all know that” John chuckled and gripped tightly on the steering wheel.

"Love is a luxury. I’d rather be in love than dead. Because love is just so amazing but at the same time, it can hurt you in ways you cannot imagine. . He’s the type of guy that makes love hurt” I added and looked outside the window where the lights of the buildings and cars are flashing before my eyes.

“Where did you get those lines?” John asked.

“My mind” I answered.

John started to hum and to chuckle, “Sam, listen!” He exclaimed happily.
I giggled and stayed still and quiet when John started to sing..

Love is a luxury
She said "I'd rather be in love than dead"
But now it's her, oh God now it's her
She's the type of girl who makes love.. hurt.

“Where did you get those lines?” I mocked his question.

“My mind” He answered and laughed after.

I continued to stay still and quiet when John patted my shoulder, “I’ll make that into a song”

“Are you really going to LA, Sam?”

“I’ll go to college there and yeah, it’s hard for me to leave this place but I have too and I want to escape the memories for a while” I replied.

“Did you know that Garrett was very upset when he went to our house a while ago?” John smiled.

“Oh, I didn’t. I don’t want to talk about him, John”

John dropped me off at my house and I realized that my dad wasn’t alone at the moment. My sister was out which made me a little curious of who can he be with at that time of the night.

John walked out of his car all of the sudden and hugged me with a comforting feeling, “Take care, sweetie” He chuckled.

I hugged back and punched his hand playfully, “I will. You too, okay? Of course, take care of the band”

“The band or you mean Garrett?” John questioned.

“Band”

John raised his eyebrows while I crossed my arms in front of my chess. “Okay, I’ll shut up” John acted as if he was holding a zipper and zipped his mouth.

“Good” I waved good bye and headed to our front porch.

I reached for my keys and opened the door. My dad was laughing and laughing. I realized, he was drunk but it’s impossible to laugh by himself or else he’s crazy.

“Dad? I’m home!” I shouted.

“Samantha Daniel Brooks? Where have you been?” He asked.

“Out, obviously” I answered rudely when I noticed the shadow beside my dad at the kitchen.
“Dad? Who are you with?” I asked.

I accidentally dropped my keys and as I was reaching for it, a pair of feet was standing in front of me. I know who it was but I really wish he didn’t show up because I wasn’t ready to see him yet.

"Hi Sam"

I stood straight and fixed my shirt, “What are you doing here?”

“Samantha! Don’t be rude!” My dad shouted from the kitchen.

I pulled Garrett’s arm, headed to my room and shut the door shut behind him, “Answer my question”

“I want to see you !” He shouted.

“I don’t want to see you!” I argued.

“I know, okay. I wanted to say sorry” He said, almost in a whisper.

“Sorry? Sorry my ass!” I exclaimed and sat on my bed.

“I’m fucking serious!” He exclaimed and shook my shoulders.

I pushed him away and smiled sarcastically, “I hate myself for trusting you. I hate myself for believing in your lies because you were so good in making me believe in it. I hate myself for letting you inside my life and letting myself fall for someone like you!”

Garrett pulled me closer by my waist and looked into my eyes, “You don’t mean that. Especially the last part”

I shook my head and smiled, “Oh, but I do, Garrett. I mean every word”

Garrett’s eyes are starting to become teary; those beautiful eyes are teary. But I can’t wipe those tears away now. I can never will again. But all I ever want to do is to hold him but I won’t--- I can’t.

“Do you regret having me in your life?” He asked.

Do you regret having me in your life?

How does he think I will respond to his question? Of course I do.. not. But if I’ll be honest, I’ll just let him keep hanging on to this feeling that we mutually have. But the fact that I’m hurt and I’m in pain right now, won’t give me any chance of accepting his apology. I can’t even think or feel the love that I once shared with him.

“Do you?” He asked in an annoyed voice.

“I do, Garrett. I fucking do!” I shouted and pulled away.

Garrett forced himself to laugh but the sound of his laugh cannot hide what he really feels deep inside.

“Leave” I said.

“No unless you forgive me” He replied.

“I said, leave!” I exclaimed and threw him my pillow.

“If that’s what you really want.. Then, bye Sam”

Garrett shut the door. As soon as the door was shut, I burried my face on my pillow and cried. Cried until there was no tears left, until my eyes are so red. I started to shout on my pillow so no one can hear me, it made it easier for me to let my feelings out.

I heard a knock on my door at 3am. Who fucking knocks on my door at 3am? Who’s still up at 3am in our house?

I opened the door with my face all wasted from the tears and eyes, red as it can possibly be and my nose that is more red than my rosy cheeks.

“Yes?” Once I opened the door.

“What happened?” Sabrina asked with her hands placed on her hips.

“Nothing” I sighed.

“I can tell that there’s something wrong, Sam. I can hear you cursing from my room” She hissed.

“Sorry” I rolled my eyes and jumped on my bed. Leaving my door open for Sabrina to come in or just look at me being emotional.

“I want to hear everything” She whispered as she entered the room.

“Everything started with a lie. I fell in love because of a lie, Sab. How the fuck will I get over that easily?” I exclaimed as I sighed.

Garrett Nickelsen:

It was 3 in the morning and I’m still awake. Not because I was not sleepy, not because I was not in the mood to take a rest after a very tiring gig. But actually, it’s all because I want to see Sam so badly but I can’t and I don’t know when I can see her again without her eyes being red from crying.

I continued to strum on my acoustic guitar and started to hum whatever tune comes into my head. But all I could think of was Sam’s voice and her laugh and of course, the way she shouted at me a while ago. I’ve never seen her so mad like that. But what’s not to be mad, right?

“Garrett!” I heard someone call.

I opened the door and Trey playfully spank me on the stomach, “what’s that for?!” I asked irritatedly.

“You're not letting me sleep because of your strumming and humming” He answered as he jumped on my bed with his floppy pajamas.

“I screwed up” I started to speak.

“Screwed up on what, Gar?”

“Samantha Daniel Brooks. Listen Trey, I got her. I’ve never been so happy my entire life just because of a girl--- well, except for my cooking times with mom--- but, do you get me?!” I sat beside him and rested my head on my palms.

“What did you do?” He asked.

“Well, I made a plan and I only told it to John. I knew Sam was a daughter of an owner of one of the biggest music company here and she’s really a huge loser at school. I forced myself to know her and to get close to her. I helped her change and with those days, I swear, I realized she was an amazing person” I explained to the sleepy person beside me.

“So unexpectedly, you liked her?” Trey suspiciously asked.

I nodded and looked at him, “I’m a horrible person, am I?”

“With what you have done, yes. You played with her feelings, Gar. What were you thinking?!” Trey shouted.

“I thought there wouldn’t be any chance for me liking her because she is a loser at school but it worked all the way around. She’s the most amazing girl, I have ever met and I don’t want to lose her, Trey”

Trey slapped my hand, “Then why did you continue the plan, idiot?”

“I did not! It’s just that.. John kept on bugging me to stay away from Sam because he thought I was still working on the plan, but I wasn’t anymore. All I’m after is Sam. But Sam heard our convrsation earlier” I scratched my head and frowned.

I don’t know how to react. I’m sick and tired of telling the story but I really need someone to talk to that time. But deep inside, the person I only wanted to talk to was Sam and no one else. But she won’t talk to me.

“Garrett, I’m not taking sides, okay. But what you did was wrong but have you told her that you weren't doing your plan anymore?" Trey turned to face me and it made it feel more awkward.

"Nope. I can't talk to her, she won't let me"

"You are one stupid guy!" Trey rolled his eyes and banged the door.

I know I am.. I know.