Right Girl

To forget is never easy, and I guess, moving on is the same. I tried to forget but it wasn’t successful. I talked to more people and made new friends to others just to forget the hurtful memories I could remember when I’m alone. I never felt this depressed ever since. I never thought it could be this hard also.

Ha ha ha, how could I laugh when I feel so down without knowing the reason?

“I hate math”

I sighed and placed my pencil down the table, “Cameron, I hate math too. But I have to force myself into it because I need to graduate” I glanced at him for a second and grabbed my pencil to continue doing my homework.

I was writing down the equation on my scratch paper when suddenly Cameron grabbed my paper, “You know, you’re so smart and you love to study, I get it. But you need to take a break, Samantha Daniel”

Daniel.

“Don’t call me Daniel”

“What?”

“Cameron, don’t call me Daniel” I repeated for him.

“Why?” He asked and gave me back my paper as soon as he realized I wasn’t in the mood for jokes.

“Just.. don’t”

I grabbed my books and gathered my things. I think it was the right time for me to go home. I wasn’t in the mood to laugh, I wasn’t in the mood to ride along with his jokes, and I just wasn’t me.

Cameron stood up from the floor when he noticed I was planning to go home already at 7pm. It was still early for him, but for me, all I wanted was to be in my room without anyone around me but myself.

“Sam, I’m sorry. I’m only joking” He said with a sad tone but it didn’t get me by.

“Yeah, I know. But I have to leave. I’m tired already” I grabbed my bag and put on my shoes and headed for the door.

“You know you still love Garrett, right?”

I turned my back and looked straightly at Cameron as he affirmed, “You still love him. You can’t forget him but you’re pretending you do”

“Cameron, every person is telling me this and it doesn’t help me to get over him! You’re just making things hard for me. Because I’m trying.. I really am” I protested, trying to fight away the tears.

I gripped tightly on the door knob and exhaled the negativity away. I’m just starting over with things and I need to make this mission a success or else, I’m the one who’ll get all the pain.

“Sam, I’m sorry”

“Sure”

“I really am”

“Yeah”

I opened the door and closed it. Luck couldn’t be found anywhere since the rain started to pour on my way back home and I left my umbrella on the living room of my house. And here I am, waiting for a miracle.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and pulled it closer. I was wet. There’s nothing I can do. I’m already here and I can’t go back to Cameron’s, after the way I acted up.

I was too focused on my steps; being careful not to trip or slip with the slippy ground. I felt some arms wrap on my shoulders and something covering my head from getting wet. I looked up and saw John smiling down at me with an umbrella.

“Hey babe” He greeted sweetly.

“Hey, John” I greeted coldly.

“Okay, who did it this time? If it’s not Garrett, I swear, I’ll cut his head!” John shouted with his grip on my shoulders tightening with every word.

I appreciate his sweetness and thoughtfulness, really. John pushed the wall between us and entered my life even if his friend was the reason I became like this now. He stood beside me all the time and made sure I’m always fine. John was always great.

“No! It’s not like that, John” I laughed a little, “I had a fight with my friend. He’s right and I’m the stupid one”

John loosened his hold on my shoulders and patted my back, “Tell me about the fight when we arrive at my house. You need to change, darling. You’re soaking wet!”

We walked quietly to his place and it was the first time I stepped on his house without the loud music coming from inside, no Pat, no Jared, and no Kennedy in sight.

John made me wait on their living room while he started to look for a towel and clothes for me. But I’m started to feel dizzy and I think I have a cold. He took more than 30 minutes until he came back with both hands occupied with clothes and a towel for me.

Someone knocked on the door exactly when John was only a step away from me. “Wait, Sam. I’ll just get that” He excused himself and made his way to their front door.

I lied down on their sofa. Blame the dizziness I’m feeling at the moment but then I heard John talking to someone, “No, you can’t come in!” I heard him warn the person.

“Why?”

“Because… Shit. Oh come on! Don’t you have homework or something?”John’s voice started to shake.

“I’m not in the mood to do it, and besides, it’s Math! I don’t like Math!”

I didn’t mean it to eavesdrop but I also got curious to who John was talking to and why John suddenly acted that way. I suddenly sneezed. It was unexpected, I didn’t get that much time to stop it because I was too busy eavesdropping and busy to fight the dizziness away.

“Who’s that?”

“Okay, fine. This is fucked up. Go ahead, Garrett. Go and check who it is” John exclaimed. I soon heard the door close.

I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep when I heard John mentioned his name out of nowhere. I’m so stupid for not thinking it was him on the first place and why John acted that way.

I heard the footsteps. My heart started to beat fast. I’m nervous and scared at the same time. I don’t know what to do. Should I open my eyes? Should I continue acting like this? When will I have the strength to face him? Seriously, when?

“She’s sleeping” I heard Garrett told John. I can feel his breath close to my lips, and I swear, my heart started to beat faster and louder than ever.

“Yeah. Actually, I saw her walking alone with no umbrella on a rainy evening, Garrett. I think she’s sick, though. She’s so pale and everything” John sighed.

I felt someone touching my hair and brushing it aside from my ears. I felt the chills but I was too weak to even react to the simple action. I don’t know who it was actually.

“You like touching her hair so much, Garrett” John chuckled.

“No, I just want to see her face. She keeps on blocking her face with her hair and she doesn’t even know that it irritates me when I don’t see her face” Garrett continued on brushing my hair.

“Can I stay here, John? But when I have the feeling that she’s going to wake up, I’ll go. Is that alright? I don’t want her to see me here, honestly”

“Sure, Garrett. My parents are gone anyway with the gang. Feel at home Nickelsen. Anyway, it’s a Saturday tomorrow”

I never expected this to happen. He was so close again. Here I am, being a fool. Cameron’s right. I still like this guy and it’s hard for me to move on, to forget. I’m stuck inside this feeling. I'm trapped by the memories.

Minutes passed and my eyes are really getting heavy. I’m already sleepy and I actually want to sleep. But I want to hear what Garrett and John will talk about. But I’m really sleepy.

Garrett Nickelsen:

I grabbed the blanket from John and pulled it over Sam’s body and tucked her in. I missed doing this to her, “You sure know how to take care of, Sam” John whispered.

I smiled at John and pulled him to his kitchen..

4 weeks ago:

“I don’t know, man. I can’t seem to show my face to her anymore after what happened” John scratched the back of his head and let out a heavy sigh.

“John, you’re close to Sam too. Can you do this for me, John?” I pleaded.

“Fine. Tell me what I got to do and make this fast!” John exclaimed.

“Watch over Sam as much as you can. I’ll try my best not to get close to her but I need know that she’s safe all the time, John” I replied.

“Because you’re my friend, I’ll do this”

“I’m sorry, John. But thanks”

&&

“What do you want now, Garrett?” John asked as he crossed his arms.

“Uh, she’s awake”

“How did you know?” John laughed and bit his lower lip.

“Her eyes are twitching!” I said after laughing along with John.

"She was never a good actress" I joked.

John’s laugh fade away as he smiled back, “She had a fight with her friend a while ago”

“Why?!” I didn’t mean to shout at John but I don’t really want Sam to feel her.

“What do you expect? She kept on forcing herself that she got over you but the truth is, she isn’t even close to getting over” John patted my shoulders and frowned.

“I’m hurt. Two of my closest friends are experiencing a heart break” He continued.

I don’t know how to react. Sam was putting all herself into this because she really wants to forget me that bad. I thought she was very very close to forgetting and moving on, but somehow, on this road, she’s still not far from me. She’s just a block away, a close ride, and a not-too-far walk. She is still here with me.

I heard John’s finger snapping which easily caught my attention because of the weird sound, “Should I take her home so she can get a better rest?” John asked.

“Yeah, I think so. I’ll go now. I’ll be there. Just to check up on her” I smiled at John and gave him a short hug, “I love you, man”

“I love you too, man”

I walked up to Sam one more time and smiled at her. I know she can hear me, I know she’s awake; I know she still cares, “Hey Sam, take care of yourself, please. Don’t be hard hard-headed, okay” There was a slight movement with her hands and I took it as an answer.

I couldn’t help but smile at the view in front of me. It was always the view I’ve been missing since the day she won’t let me inside her life anymore. “Oh shit son. Stop looking at her and go to your fucking car, man!” I heard John exclaimed from the kitchen.

I grabbed my car keys and headed to my car, “I can have her.. No, I want her back” I said to myself.

&&

John and Sam arrived 10 minutes after I arrived at Sam’s house. Her dad was gone, her sister was also gone. She was all alone again in her house just like how it is many months ago. The day I forced myself to knock on her door and the day I get surprised because she looked very much normal.

My car was hiding behind a big tree, three houses away from Sam’s, I saw John walking her to the front porch. Sam hugged John and waved goodbye. John drove away but I was not convinced to leave yet.

I was watching her from the tree. She was searching for her keys but then a guy came out walking from the corner of the street to her house. My eyes were glued to them as I wonder who it was.

Sam was shaking her head as the guy grabbed her hands. I wanted to barge in their conversation just to make sure he’s not hurting her. But then I realized, I don’t have the right to do that anymore.

Sam smiled at him as she hugged him tight and swayed their hands. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know what to expect anymore for Sam and I. I felt so miserable.

I went inside my car and drove away. I passed by her house and that moment, I don’t care if she sees me.

Really Sam, I still love you. I really do.