Not Even Duct Tape Can Fix My Broken Heart, Can You?

“Well, it’s very hard. I can’t even remember the last time me and Zacky got to really just sit down and hang out like we used to.” Jamie rested her head on Zack’s chest. “We used to be able to sit down and look at pictures or play a game, but now we even rarely have enough time for sex.”

“But you still find the time.” I pointed out.

“Yeah, barley.” Zacky sighed.

“Oh, well. I’m just glad we have the night to ourselves. Perfect night to break out the massage oils!” Jamie giggled. “But enough of this chit-chat. Let’s go!” Jamie pulled away from Zack and skipped outside. “Can we take the Ferrari?”

“Sure!” Matt said, helping me into the car as Zack helped Jamie. After Jamie and I got situated in the back, Zacky and Matt climbed into the front seats and drove out of the driveway.

"This damn seat thing is going up my ass," I whined as I twisted and turned trying to get a better seating than having a seat belt thing up my ass. "Jamie let me sit on you please?"

"Uh…no sorry honey," she said as she moved over some. "But you can sit beside me."

"Oh thank God," I said in relief as I sat down on comfortable leather seats.

"That was quite an act, do it again," Zacky smiled as he pointed at me.

"No jackass," I groaned and leaned back. "And this dress is so short."

"Are you going to complain? All night!" Jamie asked glancing over at me, I narrowed my eyes playfully and nodded my head frantically.

"I just might."

"Well now I'm going to have to murder you're date Matt, I'm sorry," Jamie said sighing sadly, making Matt and I laugh.

"Oh come on Jamie, I like her don't kill her, please?" Matt whined as he took a right at the stop sign.

"Oh fine," she sighed heavily and patted my head. "Damn puppy dog eyes."

"You people are so weird," I laughed as Matt stopped the car and turned the engine off, he opened the door and pulled the seat up, he held his hand out and smiled.

"Mademoiselle?" he said softly.

"Thank you," I smiled as I was pulled out gently, he kissed my hand before he walked with me to the door, he held the door open and walked in after me, as Jamie and Zacky walked in with us both they cackled.

"Look at the monkey suits," Jamie giggled softly. "They aren't even French!" she commented on their French accents that the waiters where using.

"How do you know?" I whispered

"I went to school with that…Tyler Dales?" Jamie said slowly. "That's that wrestler that always teased Kodah in school."

"Let’s not bring him up.” Matt growled.

“Oh, I see we still have some hard feelings for Mr. Frenchie.”

“Will I ask?” I turned to Jamie.

“It would be in your best interest if you didn’t.” She nodded and walked up to the podium.

“Name?” A waiter asked.

“Baker.” She leaned against the podium until the waiter grabbed the menus and led us to a circle booth. Zacky sat next to Jamie who sat in between Zack and Matt, and I sat next to Matt on the end.

“So, tell me more about this Tyler.” I looked over to Jamie.

“Nah, he’s not that interesting. Just a foreign exchange student who thought he was the shit. No big deal.” Jamie sighed.

“Alright, whatever you say…”

“Would you like an appetizer?” A waitress walked up to the table with a pen and pad in hand. Everyone shook their head until she got to Jamie.

“Escargot.” She said plainly.

“Alright,” The waitress said. “I’ll be back shortly.”

“Escargot? Isn’t that, like, snails?” I looked over to Jamie.

“Yep.” She nodded.

“Is it good?” Matt looked at her as well.

“I dunno,” She shrugged. “I’ve never had it before, so we can all try it now!”

“Great, how do I always get roped into your plans?” I sighed, leaning my head on Matt’s shoulder.

“You just do.” Jamie smiled at me. “Oh please, you know you love me!”

“Maybe…” I sighed.

“No, not maybe. Yes, Jamie, I do love you! That’s what I want to hear.”

“Fine,” I sat up. “Yes, Jamie, I do love you…”

“I love you, too, Jack!”

“Great…” I shook my head, the waitress placing the plate of snails onto the table. I thanked her and she quickly walked away.

“Ewww.” Jamie poked at a snail with her fork.

“You’re the idiot that ordered it!” Zacky laughed. “You try it first.”

“No! You!” Jamie picked up one and handed it to Zack.

“No! Here, Matt! You try it!” Zack threw it at Matt.

“Guys!” I shouted softly, making them all turn to look at me. “How about we all try it together?”

“How come I didn’t think of that?” Jamie sighed, everyone picking up a snail. “Ready? One, two, three!”

We all sucked up the snail and looked at each other. As soon as it passed our lips, we all made a face of disgust and spit it out in our napkins.

“Ewww! That was sick!” Jamie stuck out her tongue.

"I didn't think anything could be worst than oysters but I was completely wrong," I said in a sick tone, I was about ready to throw up.

"Are you okay?" Zacky asked laughing a little bit.

"I think I'm going to be sick," I said jumping out of my seat, I ran towards the bathroom and ran straight into the guy that they called Tyler he steadied me out and I nodded before running straight into the bathroom.

"Oh shit!" Jamie said as she jumped from the seat and ran after me, pushing Tyler out of the way as she ran into the bathroom and held my hair back. "Are you okay Jack?"

"I have a weak stomach all of a sudden," I whined

"Uh oh," she said all of a sudden. "When was the last time you and Matt did the dirty?"

"What? Oh don't even say pregnant because we us-"

"Uh huh, that doesn't exactly keep the tadpoles away," Jamie stated as she helped me stand up straight. "Just get a test and make sure okay?"

"Okay," I said as I rinced out my mouth, watched my hands then walked to the door and opened it, Jamie linked her arm with me and we both walked towards the table, I glanced to the side and seen that Tyler guy, he wasn't that bad looking, he was dark skinned, like from Israel and he had short black hair, he was tall and fit. "I ran right into him."

"I know, I pushed him out of my way," she giggled as we sat down at the table, I groaned and laid my head back.

"You okay sweetie?" Matt asked softly

"I'm fine but I will never eat snails again," I said shaking my head as he grinned and put his arm around my shoulder.

"I’m with you.” Jamie nodded.

-----The next morning-----

I laid next to Matt, his arm around my waist in the silence of the morning without kids. I was thinking, what if I was pregnant?

“Jack?” Jamie called from the living room.

“Coming!” I yelled back. I stood up, threw on some clothes, and walked out into the living room. Jamie and Zack were sitting on the couch, Jamie with a box of pregnancy tests in her lap.

“Hey, babe! How was your night?” Jamie looked up to me and smiled.

“Fine, and yours?”

“Great!” Jamie giggled. “Would you like to know why?”

“No.” I shook my head. “Will you take the test with me?”

“Why? I’m not gonna be pregnant so what’s the point?” Jamie stood up and began to open the box.

“I dunno, I just don’t want to do it alone.” I shrugged.

“Fine…” Jamie sighed as her and I walked into the bathroom.

---------

“Now it says give it five minutes,” Jamie said as I laid the test on the counter, she simply threw hers away.

“Why’d you get rid of yours?” I looked over at her.

“Cause I don’t need it, that’s why…” Jamie threw herself on the couch, laying next to Matt. “Mattie! You might be a daddy of more than four! Or five! I don’t know if you consider Ace yours but, oh well!”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” Matt smiled at Jamie.

“Do you want to?” Jamie looked up at him.

“It doesn’t matter. It would be amazing if Jack is pregnant but I’m not gonna be devastated if she isn’t,” Matt stated.

“Has it been five minutes?” I asked eagerly.

“Uh, I guess so.” Zacky shrugged. I smiled and ran over to the counter, soon followed by Matt, Jamie, and Zack.

“So?” Jamie peeked over my shoulder.

“Ahhh!” I screamed and jumped up and down with Jamie.

“What? What? What?” Matt grabbed my shoulders and held me down.

“I’m pregnant!” I squealed.

“Holy shit!” Matt smiled hugely and hugged me tight. After the good news sunk in, I walked over to the trash to throw the test out. As I dropped my test in, I caught a glimpse of Jamie’s.

“Uh, Jamie?” I looked over to her.

“Yeah?” She looked back over at me.

“Did you look at your test?”

“No, why?” Jamie cocked her head to the side. “Oh, no! No! No! No!” She began shaking her head. “There’s no fucking way! No!” She ran up to the trash and glared down at it. Her hands shot up over her mouth, still shaking her head. “Yes…”