Unholy Confessions

I almost lost it after I hung up on Johnny. I punched in Neche’s number, only to get her voicemail; twice. My panic rised to level or pure terror. Syracuse was happening all over again. I wasn’t breathing right, and I could feel myself start to hyperventilate. Why did she have to go off without me, and more importantly, why did I have to run off and leave her alone? Shit shit shit, Mina, way to be a selfish bitch. Jason watched wide eyed, as I lost my composure.

“Mina, you’re going to pass out if you don’t calm down,” he sat down on the ground and pulled my softly after him. I slowly descended before my knees buckled and gave out under me. Jason caught me, and had me lay on the ground with my head on his knees. He brushed my hair out of my eyes, told me to close my eyes and breath with him.

“Take a deep breath and hold it… now exhale.”
After a minute or two, I could feel my blood pressure drop to a normal state and my level of terror fall back to a manageable level.

“Are you okay? What happened?”

“Neche is gone… it’s my fault. I was supposed to watch out for her!”

“Was that Johnny?”

I nodded, my eyes still closed and my head still resting on his lap, “She didn’t answer any of his calls. And she didn’t answer any of mine…”

He nodded, “Let’s go find her then.”

Jason helped me stand and I was surprised to see how calm he was, and how steady I was on my feet. I owe him big time. It then occurred to me that he didn’t think I was crazy for acting this way. I mean, he had no idea why I got so upset over my sister not answering her phone. I’m sure his brother never answered when Jason tried to call him. I’m sure it was normal for siblings. I missed being normal. I’d never blame Neche for that, not like Johnny was so insistent to do, but I did miss it.

“Jason, I just want to thank you,” I broke the silence on our hike back to the van.

“No need,” he just brushed it off… and I couldn’t help but feel a little hurt.

“I promise, that I’ll explain this when we find her, okay?”

He shrugged. I noticed that this time, he wasn’t holding my hand, and barely looked at me at all. Again, I missed the times when I was out with a boy and I didn’t have to worry about my sister, but I pushed that thought away angrily. She was my little sister… it was my duty to protect her.

Even though we hurried back, it took about twenty minutes to reach the van. I barely noticed that Jason didn’t open the door for me this time as my phone went off in my hands.

“Neche? Where the fuck have you been?”

“I’m still as school… what are you talking about?”
I leaned against the van and I felt a tear of relief roll down my flushed cheek.

“Let Johnny know you’re okay. We need to talk later. Please don’t ignore my calls or texts again,” I whispered almost pleadingly, “I thought it was Syracuse all over again.”

“Oh my God, Mina,” I could hear the remorse in her voice, “I’m so sorry, I was just so caught up in talking to Zee, that I didn’t even pay attention to my phone. Johnny and I got into a fight… then Matt and I found out Jason took the van, and I just so didn’t want to deal with his bad attitude. So I walked around the building and ran into Zacky. We’ve been sitting on the bleachers in the stadium for the past two hours.”

I nodded, even though she couldn’t hear me, “Fine. Meet me at home, okay?”

“Yeah, okay…”

“Neche?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you honey…”

I could hear the smile in her voice, “I love you too Mina.”

I hung up the phone, closed my eyes, and smiled in relief. When I opened my eyes again, I saw Jason standing a few feet away from the van, smoking and playing with his phone.

“Jase…”

He looked over at me, just as I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck.
“Everything okay?” he flicked his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. I nodded and buried my head in his chest. Again, I was blown away by how good it felt to be so close to him. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around me and returned my embrace. Then he moved his right hand to lift my face upwards and kissed me softly on the lips. My stomach did about twenty-five front flips and I felt myself smile against his lips.

“Let’s get you home.”

This time, he did help me into the big van, and held my hand the whole drive back to my house. All I could think about was how I didn’t want him to go to work, and I felt kinda sad as he pulled into my driveway.

“Here we are love.”

I turned my head to say goodbye, to find his lips on mine once more. Just as I went to deepen the kiss, a loud pounding on the window made us both jump.

We both turned to see Johnny glaring at us, his arms crossed against his chest. I sighed and went to get out of the car, but Jason stopped me with one last kiss. Johnny’s face reddened and I felt like he was going to explode when I finally got out of the car. I gave him a sheepish look as I pushed past him to enter the house.

I was greeted by the smell of chocolate chip cookies upon entering the front door, and I followed the smell to find my sister in the kitchen. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun on top of her head and she had streaks on flour across her forehead and cheek.

“You must’ve really bust it out to get home and make cookies,” I laughed as I gave her hug.

She smiled up at me and nodded. She explained that Zacky had heard the phone call and decided to walk her home instead of waiting for Shads to finish playing a pick-up basketball game.

“I think Val was looking forward to having someone to sit with, cause she seemed really disappointed when I texted her and told her I was going home with Zee instead.”

I nodded, trying to get to the cookie dough without her noticing. But it was a failed attempt, and she smacked my hand and shooed me away. Neche had everything laid out on the island that stood in the middle of the kitchen, and I sat on the middle of the three stools that surrounded it. As I began to tell her about my day, I noticed Johnny lurking in the hallway. I sighed and called out to him to join us.

“Way to be a creeper,” Neche muttered.

“So… did you… have fun with Jason?” he tried to ask in a civil tone.

“As a matter of fact, I did.” I smiled.

“Do you normally kiss guys you barely know?” he asked. He just couldn’t leave it alone. Neche grabbed a wooden spoon off the counter and knocked Johnny on the head with it.

“Shush Johnny boy, leave her alone.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the antic and at Johnny’s confused face. He wasn’t used to being told what to do, and I couldn’t help but feel that Johnny was learning how it felt to have siblings. He groaned and told us to be ready in twenty minutes if we wanted to watch the guys practice at Matts house. We both nodded and started to clean the kitchen as he wandered up to his room.