Have Faith in Me

Another week passed after the almost kiss between Matt and I. None of the guys knew about it. It was a secret between Matt and I. I had to try to act normal around him in order to avoid arousing suspicion. A few days later things were back to normal by themselves so I was able to drop the charade.

The only thing that hadn’t changed and had actually intensified were the butterflies in my stomach or the erratic heartbeat I often experienced when Matt touched me, even if it was a light brush.

I had been touched that Matt had gone out of his way to learn a song that he was fully aware meant a lot to me.

At the moment, we were in Colorado, waiting for the concert. I saw sitting next to Matt, laying my head on his shoulder. His arm was around me, rubbing my upper arm in a slow rhythm.

“Go to sleep,” he murmured when he saw me yawn. I shook my head.

“I have to stay up to take pictures tonight,” I argued.

I hadn’t slept since the day before yesterday. The guys had a concert last night and when we got back, I was up late with Sheryl, who was helping me organize photos to send in to Revolver. By the time I had finished going through photos, the guys had started to wake up. All day I had been running on caffeine, using the guys as my pillows to rest my head whenever I could. It didn’t help that I had insisted on going with them to their sound check just an hour ago and I was running around then.

“Take the night off. You need sleep.” I glanced up, meeting Matt’s hazel eyes briefly.

“Maybe just a quick nap,” I mumbled as I closed my eyes.

***

I tried to turn onto my back, still half asleep, but my shoulder ran into someone’s chest. My eyes shot open in alarm and I became aware of an arm around my waist. I looked down, recognizing the tattoos decorating the arm. I tried to slip out of his grasp but Matt just tightened his hold on me. I moved again, trying to loosen his hold.

“I would sleep so much better if you didn’t move around as much,” Matt grumbled, his voice huskier than it normally is.

“I would sleep better if I knew why I was in your bunk,” I retorted. I felt his hold loosen and I turned so that I faced him. I gasped softly when I realized how close we were. His eyes were groggy and appeared a darker green than the usual hazel.

“You fell asleep on me. I moved you to my bunk before the show because I couldn’t move you to your bunk without waking you up. I just climbed in when I was going to sleep. You certainly didn’t object to it.” His eyes were slowly closing again.

“What do you mean?”

“You scooted close to me the minute I laid down. When I put my arm around you, you relaxed.” Matt tightened his hold on me, nestling his face into the crook of my neck. “Now don’t move so much. I want to sleep,” he muttered. My heart raced as his lips brushed my skin. “Relax, Rachel. I can feel your heart beat.” I took a deep, shaky breath before closing my eyes.

A few hours later, everyone was awake. Matt and Mike had gone off to find a park to play some basketball, taking full advantage of their day off. Zacky and Johnny were playing Xbox in the back lounge. I was sitting on a couch up front, reading a book. Brian was across from me, reading a magazine he had found.

“So,” Brian started, “you and Matt were getting pretty cozy last night.” I looked at him pointedly.

“Are you guys taking turns talking to me about Matt or something? First Zacky, then Johnny, and now you. Is Mike next?” I ranted. Brian shrugged.

“I was just commenting. I mean you did fall asleep on him and share a bed with him.”

“I was using all of you as a pillow throughout the day.”

“But you didn’t fall asleep on any of us. And you were on Matt most of the time.”

“What are you getting at?”

“You and Matt and a possible relationship…” I rolled my eyes, let out a small scoff.

“Like Matt could be interested in me. Zacky told me he has feelings for me but I don’t believe it. Matt could do so much better than me.”

“Tell Matt that. I’m sure he wouldn’t agree.” With that said, Brian stood up and walked to the bunks. I stared after him, his last words repeating themselves in my head. Matt couldn’t possibly have feelings for me.

Could he?

I shook my head. No, it possibly couldn’t be true. I was just a quiet, normal girl. He could have the most gorgeous girl in the world if he wanted to. Nothing about me could possibly attract someone like him to me.

I was shaking my head once again as I heard the door open. Matt and Mike’s laughter entered before I actually saw them.

“Oh, hey, Rach,” Mike greeted when he saw me. I waved in response. “I’m gonna go shower. I stink.” Mike walked past me, slipping into the bunk area. I glanced at Matt and he gave me a dimpled smile in return.

“Wanna play a game?” he asked, sitting across from me where Brian sat not too long ago. His question made me wary.

“What kind of game?” I asked in response.

“A question game. A game where we can get to know each other.” I looked at him for a moment.

“Sure. Why not?” I pulled my legs onto the couch so I was sitting with my legs crossed. “You go first.” He studied me for a moment.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Green, red, and black. What’s your hometown?”

“Huntington Beach. Always has been. What’s yours?”

“Same.” He cocked his head to the side, raising an eyebrow.

“Then how come I never saw you at school?” His hazel eyes were curious and thoughtful.

“I didn’t go to school in Huntington. I was sent to Los Alamitos.” His mouth made a little “o” of understanding as he nodded. “What’s your favorite band?”

“The one question I can never answer!” Matt chuckled as I laughed a little. “I don’t really have a favorite band. You could say Metallica or Guns ‘N Roses or Pantera. But I don’t really have one.”

Two hours later we were still playing. The guys hadn’t really come out to the front, only to grab a snack. Whenever they came out, we’d stop playing until they left. We were basically finding everything out about each other; from how we felt on our first day of school to past love interests.

“You’re a virgin? Really?” Matt said in a surprised tone. I nodded, a little embarrassed. “I thought you would’ve had someone you would’ve had sex with already.”

“Almost. But not quite exactly,” I told him. He shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “You can ask one more question. I’m all questioned out and I’m tired,” I yawned. He seemed to be mulling over a question, hesitating for a second.

“Why the tears when I caught you singing Have Faith In Me?” he finally asked. I looked away. I knew this question was going to come up at some point in the night.

“His name was Aaron,” I quietly started. “I had met him my junior year in high school. I was absolutely head over heels for him. Everyone thought we were going to last forever and get married one day. We stayed together through the rest of high school and we were still together when I was in college. He had opted to dive right into working while I went to college in Berkley.” I paused for a moment, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“One day I was talking to him and I showed him that song. When it was over, he told me he’d do just like the song said and never let me go and never let me fall. Sophomore year rolls in and I’m immediately hit with all kinds of problems. My mother is diagnosed with brain cancer, my father tries to commit suicide, and my brother becomes an alcoholic and druggie.” I paused again to wipe away the stray tear that escaped my eye.

“I was away from home and I felt like I didn’t have anyone. I turned to Aaron and he does the one thing he promised he’d never do. He lets me go and lets me fall. We broke up and I haven’t talked to him since.” I looked at Matt when I heard him move so he could sit next to me. He grabbed my hand as I continued. “He was the only one to ever compliment me on my singing. After him, I was never too keen on anyone hearing me sing especially that song because it bring back so many memories.”

I looked away from Matt again to try to compose myself. Matt placed his finger under my chin and gently turned my head so that I faced him.

“I know coming from me it may mean nothing but I know I mean it,” he murmured. “I will try my hardest to do what Aaron couldn’t do; never let you go, never let you fall.” His eyes flickered briefly to my lips. My breath caught in my throat when I saw him slowly closing the distance between us. His lips pressed softly against mine in a gentle, sweet kiss. I immediately kissed back, letting go of his hand and wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulled away after a moment and rested his forehead on mine.

“I have faith in you,” I whispered.