Chernobyl
Two of Three.
The first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes was how cold it was. I was lying on some cot that was less than two feet off the ground. Looking up, the ceiling was a flat, shiny grey and held a single yellow light at the seam of the two edges of the roof. The walls were made of concrete, standing strong and absolute, like the government of the Soviet Union. One side of the room, across from the cot, had a metal door that sat decorated in metal bolts and screws.
Where was I?
I stood up and ran over to the door, shaking the handle, pushing the door, kicking it, body-checking it. Nothing.
Dean.
Panic started to set in as I became more aware of my situation. I was in a concrete room, alone. I didn't know where or this concrete room was—if it was a warehouse, in a complex, a basement. I had no idea what time of day it was, how I had been transported here, or how long I had been here. My brother was back, after spending years at God knows where, and I was stuck. Alone. By myself. In some strange place. Alone.
What to do? What to do?
What was I going to do? Did anyone know I was gone? How would anyone find me? Why did he take me? What was I going to do?
I needed to calm down. That’s what I was going to do. I was going to think this through.
You’ll be okay. You’re not dead. You can do this.
I focused for a minute on getting my breathing back to a calm rhythm and began pacing around the space.
He’s your brother and he says he loves you. That’s got to work to your advantage, right?
That seemed to be the only thing working in my favor at that point, and I desperately needed a sliver of fate on my side.
**
I’m not sure how long I was there before I heard an engine outside. The clinking of keys, and then a small click, and the door opened. I sprang up, and started running towards it.
Maybe I can escape. There’s a small chance, just need the right timing...
I was stopped when I ran straight into a bony sternum, and looked up at my brother.
“What are you doing, Chrissy?” He stepped in and locked the door behind him.
“Uhmm…” I struggled for words, taking steps back into the center of the room.
“Just look at you—my sister,” he started toward me, “I can’t believe how beautiful you are.” He had walked me back into a corner, inevitably trapping me into a space that was so constricted, that my options were concrete, or him. I started to slide against the wall and he followed me, watching me with large, owl eyes. “Where are you going, my love?” he stepped in closer.
I had made it to the middle of the wall before I was in arm’s reach of Dean. He stretched out his hand and put it on my face, letting it stroke down on my cheek. Naturally, I turned away, but his other hand caught me, and cradled my jaw, moving my head back up to where he could look me in the eyes. “So beautiful,” his voice was almost like a song as he sighed.
“Please stop touching me,” I squirmed, beginning to feel more than just claustrophobic being pressed up against the wall.
“But then you’ll try to run away just like you did before, wouldn’t you?”
“Why did you take me here?” My pitch was high as I fought my survival instincts to hold my composure.
“I told you I would come back for you, my baby sister, and I was going to keep my promise. Now that we’re here, we’re alone, and nothing can hurt you. We’ll be together forever.” He sounded dreamy and soft.
“But what about Mom?”
“That bitch is no good for you,” his voice quickly turned to a knifepoint, sharply stabbing the name of the woman who gave him life. “You need to be kept safe.” His face was tense, but his eyes were like lasers.
“She loves me too, Dean. Please,” I was almost crying. “I’ll be okay. Just let me—“
“Lies!” he cut me off. “She doesn’t love you. You’re too innocent to know it, but she’ll tell you day after day how much she loves you but she won’t hesitate to throw you out. You will not go back there, Chrissy. I have to protect you.”
“No, you don’t. Dean…” I was starting to lose it as my breath became uneven.
“We were separated for years, Chrissy, why aren’t you happy to see me?” He was like a child, all over again.
A tear gathered at the corner of my eye and slid down my cheek like rain on a window.
“Why are you crying?” he started out softly as a quick sob dripped off my lips. “Stop crying, Chrissy.” It wasn’t anything comforting—he said it with the tone of the knife. “Stop it.” I could hear the impatience gather as my tears defied him. “Chrissy, stop it! Stop crying! Just stop!” He was shouting, now, in my ear as I remained trapped against the wall, I turned my head to my shoulder, and tried to pull it back together, but there was too much pressure, and so little breathing room.
“Why won’t you stop!?” Before my mind could process what was going on, Dean had thrown me against the wall to our left. I sat on the ground, with my shoulder against the concrete. It felt like a cracked mirror, broken into ten thousand pieces, releasing all hope for a calm future. Violence never lead to anything great, I knew, and this just made me cry harder.
“Jesus, just shut up! Chrissy!” he bent down and covered his ears with his palms. “You’re not beautiful when you cry!” He sounded pleading and begging as he rocked back and forth on his heels in the crouched position. My state was upsetting him. He wanted me to be beautiful, but I couldn't.
“Just let me go home!” I shouted. Like a deer caught in headlights, his eyes shot over to me, and he stood up, his pitiful mood gone.
As he walked over towards me, I pulled my knees into my chest, watching as his entire body seemed to grow with his anger, doubling with every step.
“How many times am I going to say? You are not going home, you stupid, stupid girl! You’re not beautiful when you’re not stupid!” And he kicked me. Like a child and an anthill, he kicked me with his toe, using enough force to push me down.
“Dean, please stop it,” I sobbed.
“I saved you from a monster at home and you keep crying!” He kicked me again. “I kept my promise and came back for you and you keep crying! I love you and you won’t stop crying!” With the last blow, I couldn’t help but let out a quick shout.
Dean stepped back and looked at me, panting. I stayed where I was against the wall, still holding my shoulder that had been hurt after being thrown into the concrete.
“I just want my baby sister to be beautiful again,” he whispered, and moved back in towards me. He leaned down and picked me up bridal style, and set me down on the bed. He didn’t let go, though, instead, he kept hugging me. “I love you, Chrissy,” he kept saying as the final tears fell from my eyes. “Why won’t you say you love me too?”
“Because,” I breathed out.
His arms were around me before I could give a reason. “I love you Chrissy. I promise.”
And before he asked any more questions, he kissed my cheek and left me on the cot.
“I’ll see you soon.”
Where was I?
I stood up and ran over to the door, shaking the handle, pushing the door, kicking it, body-checking it. Nothing.
Dean.
Panic started to set in as I became more aware of my situation. I was in a concrete room, alone. I didn't know where or this concrete room was—if it was a warehouse, in a complex, a basement. I had no idea what time of day it was, how I had been transported here, or how long I had been here. My brother was back, after spending years at God knows where, and I was stuck. Alone. By myself. In some strange place. Alone.
What to do? What to do?
What was I going to do? Did anyone know I was gone? How would anyone find me? Why did he take me? What was I going to do?
I needed to calm down. That’s what I was going to do. I was going to think this through.
You’ll be okay. You’re not dead. You can do this.
I focused for a minute on getting my breathing back to a calm rhythm and began pacing around the space.
He’s your brother and he says he loves you. That’s got to work to your advantage, right?
That seemed to be the only thing working in my favor at that point, and I desperately needed a sliver of fate on my side.
**
I’m not sure how long I was there before I heard an engine outside. The clinking of keys, and then a small click, and the door opened. I sprang up, and started running towards it.
Maybe I can escape. There’s a small chance, just need the right timing...
I was stopped when I ran straight into a bony sternum, and looked up at my brother.
“What are you doing, Chrissy?” He stepped in and locked the door behind him.
“Uhmm…” I struggled for words, taking steps back into the center of the room.
“Just look at you—my sister,” he started toward me, “I can’t believe how beautiful you are.” He had walked me back into a corner, inevitably trapping me into a space that was so constricted, that my options were concrete, or him. I started to slide against the wall and he followed me, watching me with large, owl eyes. “Where are you going, my love?” he stepped in closer.
I had made it to the middle of the wall before I was in arm’s reach of Dean. He stretched out his hand and put it on my face, letting it stroke down on my cheek. Naturally, I turned away, but his other hand caught me, and cradled my jaw, moving my head back up to where he could look me in the eyes. “So beautiful,” his voice was almost like a song as he sighed.
“Please stop touching me,” I squirmed, beginning to feel more than just claustrophobic being pressed up against the wall.
“But then you’ll try to run away just like you did before, wouldn’t you?”
“Why did you take me here?” My pitch was high as I fought my survival instincts to hold my composure.
“I told you I would come back for you, my baby sister, and I was going to keep my promise. Now that we’re here, we’re alone, and nothing can hurt you. We’ll be together forever.” He sounded dreamy and soft.
“But what about Mom?”
“That bitch is no good for you,” his voice quickly turned to a knifepoint, sharply stabbing the name of the woman who gave him life. “You need to be kept safe.” His face was tense, but his eyes were like lasers.
“She loves me too, Dean. Please,” I was almost crying. “I’ll be okay. Just let me—“
“Lies!” he cut me off. “She doesn’t love you. You’re too innocent to know it, but she’ll tell you day after day how much she loves you but she won’t hesitate to throw you out. You will not go back there, Chrissy. I have to protect you.”
“No, you don’t. Dean…” I was starting to lose it as my breath became uneven.
“We were separated for years, Chrissy, why aren’t you happy to see me?” He was like a child, all over again.
A tear gathered at the corner of my eye and slid down my cheek like rain on a window.
“Why are you crying?” he started out softly as a quick sob dripped off my lips. “Stop crying, Chrissy.” It wasn’t anything comforting—he said it with the tone of the knife. “Stop it.” I could hear the impatience gather as my tears defied him. “Chrissy, stop it! Stop crying! Just stop!” He was shouting, now, in my ear as I remained trapped against the wall, I turned my head to my shoulder, and tried to pull it back together, but there was too much pressure, and so little breathing room.
“Why won’t you stop!?” Before my mind could process what was going on, Dean had thrown me against the wall to our left. I sat on the ground, with my shoulder against the concrete. It felt like a cracked mirror, broken into ten thousand pieces, releasing all hope for a calm future. Violence never lead to anything great, I knew, and this just made me cry harder.
“Jesus, just shut up! Chrissy!” he bent down and covered his ears with his palms. “You’re not beautiful when you cry!” He sounded pleading and begging as he rocked back and forth on his heels in the crouched position. My state was upsetting him. He wanted me to be beautiful, but I couldn't.
“Just let me go home!” I shouted. Like a deer caught in headlights, his eyes shot over to me, and he stood up, his pitiful mood gone.
As he walked over towards me, I pulled my knees into my chest, watching as his entire body seemed to grow with his anger, doubling with every step.
“How many times am I going to say? You are not going home, you stupid, stupid girl! You’re not beautiful when you’re not stupid!” And he kicked me. Like a child and an anthill, he kicked me with his toe, using enough force to push me down.
“Dean, please stop it,” I sobbed.
“I saved you from a monster at home and you keep crying!” He kicked me again. “I kept my promise and came back for you and you keep crying! I love you and you won’t stop crying!” With the last blow, I couldn’t help but let out a quick shout.
Dean stepped back and looked at me, panting. I stayed where I was against the wall, still holding my shoulder that had been hurt after being thrown into the concrete.
“I just want my baby sister to be beautiful again,” he whispered, and moved back in towards me. He leaned down and picked me up bridal style, and set me down on the bed. He didn’t let go, though, instead, he kept hugging me. “I love you, Chrissy,” he kept saying as the final tears fell from my eyes. “Why won’t you say you love me too?”
“Because,” I breathed out.
His arms were around me before I could give a reason. “I love you Chrissy. I promise.”
And before he asked any more questions, he kissed my cheek and left me on the cot.
“I’ll see you soon.”