The Trouble of Taboo

I was in a daze as I walked home, thinking of Neil and smiling slightly, but knowing he had a fiancé hurt as well. It had been stupid of me to assume that someone as hot as him would be single just because there wasn’t a ring on his finger. I reached my house and went in the side door just in case; although, I couldn’t see my father’s car there. I opened the door and could hear Maria’s voice. I walked towards her wondering who she was talking to. I walked toward the kitchen and had just pushed the door open ready to speak when the door was closed back on me with force. It knocked me to the floor and gave me an instant nosebleed and probably a bump on my head, just to join everything else I had to cover up.

The door opened and I looked up to see my mother. I looked up at her, shocked that she was even here, this was the first time in years she’d come here.

“What have I taught you about eavesdropping?!” She yelled at me and I winced slightly as I stood up.

“I wasn’t eavesdropping, I came to see Maria.” I told her whilst I noticed that I was slightly taller than her and smirked slightly.

“Fat chance! Who’d come and see the maid! Why not come and see me?” She yelled at me. I looked at her like she was mad, she’d never been motherly or wanted me around, I was the “thing” that had ruined her body and her life.

“I didn’t know you were here. How was I meant to come see you? Plus, Maria’s more like a mother to me than you’ve ever been.” I turned to walk away from her, tired of her conceitedness and hypocritical nature. As I was walking, I felt my hair being yanked back and I was on the floor, a high heel standing down on my hand.

“You will treat me with the respect I deserve for sacrificing my body for your life!” She screamed at me. I looked at her in disgust.

“Didn’t stop you hating me or getting the surgery that EVERYONE knows you had!” I screamed back at her. Her face went red with rage and embarrassment. She lifted her heel and I was about to get up when it came back down with force onto my wrist.

“I. HAVE. NOT. HAD. SURGERY!” She yelled at me every time stomping on my wrist. I took my hand from the floor and got up and ran to my room. She walked away back into the kitchen and I could hear her finishing her conversation with Maria as if nothing had happened. I got to my room, locked my door and slumped against it, holding my wrist to my chest as it was hurting the most. I was just thankful that it was the opposite wrist to the one I had cut earlier. I hoped she hadn’t broken it and that it was just a fracture.

After resting by my door, to regain my composure, I got up and went and found a bandage to support my wrist and wiped the blood away from my nose, seeing a big ass bruise on my forehead. I prayed that my fringe would cover it. I don’t think anyone would be seeing my eyes tomorrow, which made me think of Neil. I smiled slightly and then frowned. I had gotten lucky today that he hadn’t seen I was in pain, how am I ever going to hide my wrist?

I got up the next morning after a night of tossing and turning, being careful of my arm but not being able to sleep because of the pain and the worry of hiding the pain tomorrow. I sighed as I stepped into the shower, having taken my bandage off I let the water fall onto it gently, hoping it would help make it feel better. I then got dressed into some slouchy jeans and a long sleeved top done up with a zip at the back and a black hoody over it just to make sure no one noticed my wrist being twice the size it was meant to be.

I made sure to leave late for school so I wouldn’t get there early again, but skipped breakfast having no appetite. I had my iPod in and had just reached the gates when the bell for registration went. My eyes fixed on the pavement, my hair covered my face. I’d put some concealer over the bruise this morning, but it was still slightly noticeable if you really looked at it and moved my hair away, I was hoping that no one would. I walked into school, picked up the register and was walking to form when I bumped into someone.

“Sorry.” I mumbled looking up a bit but not catching the person’s face and was about to carry on walking when the person grabbed my wrist to stop me. I cursed from the pain, my face wincing in pain. I yanked my arm from the person and half ran to form, dropping the register on the desk and sitting at my desk.

A few minutes later, I realised Ali hadn’t sat next down to me. I looked around looking for her, but she wasn’t anywhere to be seen. I turned away from the teacher and got my phone out seeing I had a message.

Hay hun. I’m sick today so won’t be in. Sorry to leave you by yourself,

But I’m sure you’ll still have fun in Science ;). Ali xx

I sighed half in relief half upset. With Ali not here I had one less person to have to worry about hiding my pain from and I wasn’t really in a talkative mood today but on the other hand I had been hoping she’d be there as a barrier between Neil and I, and I always hated her not being here because I got left by myself. I put my phone away just as the bell went and sighed again as I carefully picked up my shoulder bag; I’d switched shoulders today so it wouldn’t bump against my wrist and I wouldn’t have to pick it up.

The break bell went, I now had fifteen minutes of doing nothing, until I had double science, any other time I’d have gone and hung out with Neil, but it was too risky today, so I went and sat in the toilets and checked on my wrist and then read a book until the warning bell went. I grabbed my stuff and headed to Neil’s class, slowly so as not to be the first one there.

I leant against the door pushing it open with my shoulder, I’d never realised how much I used my wrist before. I sighed and walked into the classroom, keeping me face pointed down to the floor and went and sat down at my desk. I sighed knowing I’d have to look up at Neil eventually, so I looked around the room and realised it was empty, where was everyone?

“May I assist you, Paige?” I heard Neil ask me, I turned to see him sitting at his desk a look of confusion on his face.

“Don’t I have your lesson now?” I asked, my head starting to spin slightly. Neil shook his head, and I marvelled at how hot he looked doing that.

“No. I have a free period right now.” He told me and I sighed trying to figure out what lesson I was meant to be in. I spun around to get my diary and look, but the spinning took me off balance and I ended up on the floor. I pulled myself into a sitting position, shocked to find tears rolling down my face. I looked at myself and realised I had landed on my hurt wrist.

“Fuck!” I said louder than I should have, and only then realised Neil had come over to me. He crouched down in front of me.

“What happened, Paige?” He asked his voice full of concern. I looked up at him. “My god, Paige,” Confused I just looked at him wondering if I really looked that bad. “What happened to you?” He asked me.

“I fell over.” I told him smiling slightly, not knowing why he’d asked me that. “You were sat right there when it happened.” I joked with him, laughing slightly. He looked at me smiling a little back as I laughed and then putting his serious face back on.

“And prior to that?” He asked me, I looked up at him confused. He lifted his hand and brushed my hair completely away from my face, and I remembered what had happened last night.

“Um, nothing really. I bumped my head by walked into a locked door.” I told him, not really lying: it wasn’t locked but it was a door. He just looked at me and offered to help me up. I put my hands up so he could help me up, but as he started to pull lightly my wrist screamed with pain. “Fuck!” I said pulling it back down to me letting go of Neil’s hands and holding my wrist to me.

“Paige?” Neil looked down at me confused as I just looked up at him, wincing at the pain still. “Another accident?” He asked me, his voice clearly dubious. I just nodded as I tried to think of a way to stand up without having to use my wrist to support me, but then Neil put his arms undermine and gently pulled me up, being careful not to hurt my wrist. I looked at him and smiled.

“Thank you, Neil. I mean Mr P.” I laughed a little at my slip up, especially as it had been my idea.

“Really Paige, just refer to me as Neil, please?” He half pleaded looking down at me and smiled as his hand brushed against my cheek, but then he became serious again. “I implore you to confide in me as to what actually occurred,” He asked me, and my smile fell off my face, I was about to protest, say that I didn’t know what he was talking about, when he cut me off. His lips were against mine, kissing me lightly but determined. I forgot myself and wrapped my arms around his waist, I moved my body closer to his as he kissed me harder and pulled me closer. I moaned slightly, not even embarrassed, as his hand moved up and down my back. I never wanted him to stop. In the back of my mind was the fact that he had a fiancé but I just ignored it and kissed him harder. I needed him. I needed his reassurance and caring.

Eventually, we pulled back, both out of breath as he looked straight into my eyes. “Tell me what occurred.” He stated, a command not a question. I looked away from him, but he pulled my face back up to look at him and I couldn’t resist his eyes.

“It’s just a thing at home, It’s fine really.” I told him. I knew he wasn’t convinced but the fact that he knew he had some of the truth at least seemed to calm him a bit. He moved my hair away from my face and brought his hand down to caress my cheek. He trailed a finger down my neck; I shivered slightly from the pleasure of feeling his skin against mine. He was about to kiss me again when the bell went. He sighed and pulled away. I looked at him and sighed too, “Why can’t I stay away from you?” I asked not specifically to him.

“Is it your desire to stay away from me?” He asked, slightly hurt and I frowned at hurting him.

“Well no, but I have to. You have a fiancé and could lose your job and I could get kicked out of school, and I can’t jeopardise my grades, I need to get out of this place before it kills me.” I told him and then sighed as I realised what I’d said at the end, I hadn't meant for him to hear that me. He looked at me worried but I shook my head. “I’ve got to get to class; I’ll see you later when I actually have your lesson.” I smiled at him, kissed him gently and then walked out realising today was the day I had maths, English and then double science last, I knew later I’d have to go and apologise to my maths’ teacher and figure out an excuse, but for now I was just glad I’d been able to spend time with Neil. I was in big trouble of falling for him and falling hard.