Never Back Down

I finished touching up on the black makeup all over my arms when Ashley came up to me.

“Hey you okay man?”

I sighed and looked at him, “Nope”

“What’s wrong?”

I sighed again and tossed my makeup back into the bag I carried it in. I zipped it up and wiped my hands off on a cloth.

“I fucking asked that kid, Snowden, out and he shot me down without even a second thought”

I banged my head into the mirror in front of me. I felt Ashley rub my back before Jinxx came in yelling that we had 10 minutes until we went on. I groaned and just pulled back from the mirror and double checked my outfit and everything.

I honestly don’t know why this kid has me bummed out so much. I mean come on! He’s the complete opposite of me and he doesn’t even like my music or how I act.

Why does that make me want him even more?

I shook the thoughts from head and headed out after my fellow band mates to start our concert at the high school in town.

I couldn’t help but wonder just before we went onto the stage if Snowden was going to be here.

I secretly hope he is…

~~~~ Half Hour Into Show ~~~~

Well so far so good with the concert. I had managed to get the crowd even more riled up while jumping around on the stage while singing and screaming my lungs out. A lot of the kids in the crowd knew just about every single word to every single song we played which made me even more excited.

I thrived off of the crowd’s energy at every concert. During our next song of Fallen Angels I started climbing up the side of our set up. I heard gasps from the crowd and ‘be carful’s’ from fans. It was reassuring to know that they cared about me and my wellbeing.

But I just liked climbing shit too fucking much.

We finished up Fallen Angels and I introduced the next song, Rebel Love Song.

As soon as the song started I instantly thought of Snowden and how much I just wanted him.

”I cannot hide what’s on my mind
I feel it burning deep inside
A passion crime to take what’s mine
Let us start living for today

Never gonna change my mind
We can leave it all behind
Nothing’s gonna stop us
No not this time”

I was just standing at the center of the stage with my microphone in its stand singing. I wasn’t really moving around at all. For some reason I just couldn’t. My mind was clouded up with Snowden and everything I was feeling for him.

”So take your hand in mine
It’s ours tonight
This is a Rebel Love Song

Hearts will sacrifice
It’s do or die
This is a Rebel Love Song

My outlaw eyes have seen their lies
I choke on all they had to say
When worlds collide what’s left inside
I hold on tight and hear you pray

Never gonna change my mind
We can leave it all behind
Nothing’s gonna stop us
No not this time

So take your hand in mine
It’s ours tonight
This is a Rebel Love Song

Hearts will sacrifice
It’s do or die
This is a Rebel Love Song”

By now I could tell that everyone in the crowd and my band mates knew something was up with me. I know they can see the change in me and I just hope that Snowden is out there somewhere and he can see the change in me too. I’m hoping he can see how he’s making me feel.

I’m falling for him and the more he pushes me away the more I just want him.

I want him so bad that it hurts and I wish he could just give me a chance.

”Wild and running for one reason
They can’t stop us from our freedom
(Wild and running for one reason
They can’t stop us from our freedom)

Never gonna change my mind
We can leave it all behind
Nothings gonna stop us
No not this time

So take your hand in mine
It’s ours tonight
This is a Rebel Love Song

Hearts will sacrifice
It’s do or die
This is a Rebel Love Song

So take your hand in mine
It’s ours tonight
This is a Revel Love Song

Hearts will sacrifice
It’s do or die
This is a Rebel Love Song”

I finished out the song and after a small pause everyone started cheering. I felt the stares of the guys on me but I just turned and took a sip of my water before continuing on with the show.

We gave the kids one hell of a show that I hope they would remember forever. After the concert was over we did a meet and greet for the kids and by the time that was done I was wiped out.

We headed back to our hotel room where I managed to beat Ashley to the bathroom for a shower first. After scrubbing off all of my makeup and sweat I changed into a pair of basketball shorts to sleep in.

Once I was out of the bathroom Ashley just about knocked me over to get in. I laughed at him before plopping down on my bed. I pulled out my iPod and the notebook I always kept on me. I put in my headphones and put on some music while I wrote down odds and ends in my notebook.

I was completely oblivious to the world until my headphones were pulled from my ears.

“What the fuck!?”

I turned to see Ashley looking down at me concerned.

“Didn’t you hear me?”

“..no…”

Ashley shook his head and sat down on the edge of his bed facing me.

“Are you okay man?”

No

“Yeah why?”

“You had a sudden shift in your personality on stage, hell in general a shift during Rebel Love Song. What’s going on?”

I tossed my notebook and pen over towards my bag and laid back on the bed, “Nothing”

“Oh bullshit Andy I know you. Something’s up and I’m betting it’s that Snowden kid”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath which was all Ashley needed to know that he was right.

“Fuck Andy just let him go. We’re leaving this small ass town soon. Just forget about that kid”

“I wish it were that simple”

I opened my eyes and looked over at Ashley who had a confused look on his face. I sighed and sat up.

“I can’t help it Ash. I can’t help these feelings I have for him. I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s been on my mind since I ran into him yesterday. The way he acted during the radio show this morning just made me want him even more and then he pushed me away with almost a laugh at me. That just made me want him even more. I just…I can’t let him go. Something’s keeping me hooked onto him and I just…I can’t figure out what. There’s something about him that intrigues me. Something about Snowden has got me all confused and I just want him. Like really really REALLY bad.”

Ashley just took one look at me before shaking his head and falling back onto his bed, “You’ve got it bad Andy”

I groaned and fell back onto my bed.

“Don’t fucking remind me”