Six Feet Under the Stars

The door to Jack’s bedroom was soundless as I swung it inwards.

Spread out fully on the mattress, the guitarist looked fully at peace with his mouth hanging open fully. Drool slicked down the side of his mouth in a crooked path. Impressions from the sheets were stamped into his cheek and the soft volume of his breathing gently blended with the whirring of the air conditioner.

I padded quietly in my bare feet across the carpet and took a seat on the edge of his bed. The mattress bounced a little with the added weight and then settled back into stillness. Jack didn’t wake up and I studied his face for a few moments, wondering to know what he was dreaming about.

Somehow I managed to find an empty space next to his body and stretched out delicately next to Jack. My mind traveled down many different paths, mostly wondering how he would react to my declarations. Maybe in shock or surprise.

After a few moments, Jack slowly opened his eyes which didn’t leave me much time to formulate any thoughts once I met his gaze. Jack blinked several times to rouse himself and then asked sleepily, “Melanie?”

“It’s me,” I confirmed simply.

“What are you doing here?” The guitarist struggled to separate fantasy from the real world and almost fell back into his dreams. He kept his eyes closed while he continued, “Shit, I must have overslept or something.”

“You didn’t.” I assured him, “There’s still plenty of time to take advantage of that continental breakfast downstairs.”

Jack smiled widely, “That’s what I like to hear. My stomach is slowly dying. Once I wake up, would you want to head down there with me? We could swipe some muffins and bring them back up to the room.”

“I’m not very hungry,” I told him wiggling my toes at the end of the bed.

“Did you get your coffee?”

“Actually no,” I laughed easily next to him.

“That’s the problem. I’m sure they have some mediocre brand that has been sitting in the pot for too long down in the lobby. It’s a hard offer to pass up.” Jack jabbed me in the side playfully and I swatted him back.

“No fair!”

“It’s always fair,” He scoffed lightly.

“That’s bullshit,” I told him, turning my hip on my side.

Suddenly, Jack seized my hip in his grasp and leaned down for a lengthy, but sweet kiss. His lips were as soft as honey and warmed my insides. We broke away slowly and I managed to sit up, clearing my throat a few times.

He sat up next to me in bed and kissed my shoulder gently, “What’s wrong? You sort of seem out of it.”

I shuffled away from his touch and flipped my hair over one shoulder, “I had sort of a fight with Alex this morning--.”

“Don’t listen to what he says,” Jack advised me. “If you want, I can talk to him about what’s going on and maybe you two can work things out.”

“That’s really nice of you--.”

“It’s no problem really. He’s my best friend and I know how some of his crazy thinking works. Not all of it, but most of it. I’m sure I can smooth things over,” Softly, Jack ran his fingers up and down my back comfortingly.

“Well, I already did get a chance to talk with him.”

Jack looked relieved, “Good. Did he listen?”

“Yeah, we both listened to each other and got a lot of talking done. I think we understand where we’re coming from now. A lot of things were just bullshit misunderstandings,” I told him while focusing on a discarded pair of socks in the corner of the room.

“See, everything works out,” Without looking at Jack, I knew he was smiling, “And did you let him know what was going on between us?”

“He sort of already figured it out.”

“Saves us some trouble,” reasoned Jack.

“But,” I dreaded my coming words and bit my lip, “But… we decided to try things again.”

Everything delved into a heavy silence.

Immediately, Jack removed his hand from my back and choked out words, “You’re going to date Alex?”

I nodded and didn’t dare look back at him, “It was all… Like I said, misunderstandings.”

“All the Caitlyn bullshit?” questioned Jack, anger rising in his voice. The guitarist had never gotten legitimately mad around me and it was foreign territory to tread. I had no idea how to calm him down, but realized there probably wasn’t anything I could do to fix things.

“He need time,” I defended Alex gently, trying not to upset more.

Jack jumped up from the bed and started pacing the carpet. He continually raked a hand through his hair over and over, like it was a nervous habit. A few minutes of tension between us only fueled the fury. While staring at the Seattle skyline, Jack spoke towards the skyscrapers, “You strung me along.”

“I never wanted to hurt you,” I assured Jack and could hear him snort. “Really, I didn’t. I didn’t even ask for you to be nice or help me. That’s not what I wanted.”

“It’s called being a friend!” said Jack, outraged. “It started that way, helping you out. And then that one night at the party when you got drunk and Alex kissed some random chick, we sat together and shared things.” His eyes filled with sadness which was a hundred times worse than seeing him in anger. “I thought it meant something.”

“Well, it was nice.” I told him honestly. “But Jack… I had chugged a whole bottle of Russian Standard. I don’t really remember too much shit from that night.”

“I do.”

Sighing in frustration, I continued, “I’m sorry, okay?”

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Jack spoke under his breath, more to himself than anybody else. Louder he added, “This is just so fucked up. Why did you even encourage me? You should have just told me straight up you were in love with Alex. It would have saved me from this bullshit.”

I opened my mouth and closed it again before I could reply, “I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. And it wasn’t bullshit; we tried things, Jack. It just didn’t work out. Maybe in the fut--.”

“No.” He cut me off abruptly. “Not in the future.”

I shrunk back from his acid words and narrowed my eyes, “Well, fine then. I’ll just leave you alone if that’s what I want.”

The guilt was eroding my mind, especially after witnessing the sheen of tears that filled Jack’s eyes before I slammed his bedroom door behind me which I pretended not to see. At almost the same moment, Alex stepped forth from the other bedroom after delivering much of the same news to Caitlyn.

His grim expression summed up everything we were going through. The two of us realized the heartache our own selfish indecision had caused the ones closest around us. By not being upfront with feelings and stalling in the process, we had caused pain to two innocent parties, only to leave them once Alex and I decided on being together.

It had happened in the kitchen almost as soon as he told me it was alright for me to date Jack. I realized I didn’t want him; it was Alex that drew my heart. Whether wrong or right, I loved the eccentric, fun-loving singer before me and the pop of inspiration had almost come too late.

Crossing the feet between us, Alex took me gently in his arms and after feeling his touch, the worries seemed to diminish almost completely. The band mate smiled sadly down at me, “She didn’t take it too well.”

“Neither did Jack.” I confessed, remembering the glimpse of tears and the anger streaming from him, “I think he’s going to hate me for a very long time. You should have seen him, Alex… It was terrible.”

He tilted my chin up towards him, “He’s a strong guy, Melanie. Being with him when your heart was with someone else would cause him more of a disservice.”

Avoiding Alex’s gaze, I bit my lip, “I dunno…”

“Well, I do. Don’t let this beat you up. Later I’ll talk to him about all of this and I’m sure it can get sorted out.” Alex’s words were almost identical to what Jack’s of a few moments past had been which bothered me more than I could verbalize.

Soon, Alex’s lips silenced whatever my reply would have been. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine eagerly, as if it were the first time he had ever kissed me. My body trembled with pleasure under his touch and my heart beat steadily. His hand swept over my curves, reveling in their feel.

Surprisingly, goose bumps broke out on his skin courtesy of kisses planted ticklishly on his ear. Alex shuddered for only a moment before pulling his raw lips back to mine for a passionate kiss right on the edge of Seattle. Only one thought floated through my mind: Alex and I were right together. It had always been him.

We belonged.

Reluctantly, I pulled back for a breather, “What now, Gaskarth?”

“Well, Melanie.” Alex spoke huskily with a smirk tugging at his mouth, “Now I tell you that I’m in love with you.”