Forever & Always.

“C’mon C! Don’t be a bore! Bob has really missed you,” Frank stood on my doorstep, staring at me with puppy dog eyes as he begged me to come hang out at 10am.

I shrugged my shoulders, thinking of the lazy day I’d planned. There was a stack of movies and a pile of junk food lying on the coffee table in the living room that were calling my name. “I dunno Frankie. I wasn’t really planning on going anywhere today.”

He raised his eyebrows and looked me up and down, a smirk playing on his lips, “I never would’ve guessed.”

A heat flooded my cheeks as he mocked my grey sweatpants and the huge Metallica t-shirt that I had borrowed from a friend in college and never returned. It wasn’t my most attractive day to say the least; then again I hadn’t wanted to attract anyone.

“I’ll buy you Starbucks,” The short man on my doorstep sing-songed with a knowing grin, coffee was my weakness.

“Fine, gimme a sec.”

I ran upstairs and changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that didn’t come to my knees. When I returned to the doorway I was still slightly disgruntled at being dragged out of the house so early and decided not to talk to Frank until he had bought me two cups of coffee. I ignored his outstretched hand and strode on ahead in the warm Jersey morning, heading straight towards the local Starbucks, not even glancing back to see if he followed me.



Bob was already sitting in the fairly busy coffee shop when Frank and I arrived. He was seated on a couch that was near the back. I giggled when a woman went to sit on the opposite chair and he glared at her so fiercely that she just turned and left. People were always so intimidated by the blonde drummer, but he was really a cuddly teddy bear.

I headed straight for the couch, ignoring Frank as he asked me what I wanted to drink. Bob sat in complete silence and as I approached he seemed oblivious to everything that was going on around him.

“Excuse me,” I spoke in a polite voice and turned on my posh accent. “Is this seat taken?”

“Yes, it fuckin is,” Bob growled as he turned to face me. When he saw who I was, his baby blue eyes widened before turning back into his usual scowl, “Oh fuck you Ciara. You’re so annoying sometimes!”

I giggled and sat down beside him, “Sorry Bobby, I didn’t mean to annoy you.”

He snorted, “Uh-huh”

“You know I love you Bobbert,” My hand took his and laced out fingers tentatively, Bob wasn’t the most affectionate of people and I didn’t want to irritate him further. But, his fingers returned the pressure to mine and I saw that he had a small smile on his lips. His calloused hand felt rough against my own but this was such a rare display of affection from Bob that I didn’t dare pull away.

We sat in a comfortable silence, Bob sipping his coffee with his free hand and me leaning against his shoulder. My eyes scanned the coffee shop, searching for the familiar black and blonde haired man that I had arrived with. I spotted him at the end of a huge queue that didn’t seem to be moving very fast at all. It would be a while until I got my free coffee.

“Hey C?” Bob broke the silence, his voice low and somewhat apprehensive sounding.

“Mhmm?”

“Just so you know, I really did miss you.”

I looked up at him from the corner of my eye and smiled softly, “Missed you too Bob. More than you’ll ever know.”

He returned the smile and those beautiful blue orbs lit up, “I guess you really don’t realise what you have until it’s gone.”

A small giggle escaped my lips at the cliché he used. We made small talk for a few minutes, chatting about Bob’s past relationships and what we’d both been up to since I’d left. It was weird to find out that the shy drummer had had three girlfriends in the past few years whereas I’d only had the one boyfriend.
Soon we got onto the topic of music and discovered that Bob and I shared interest in more bands now than we did as teens.

“I’m big into Kill Hannah,” The blonde shook his head and laughed a little. “I sound like such a girl, but Mat Devine’s voice is amazing! Obviously I also love the music we make.”

“Kill Hannah? I fucking love them!” I exclaimed excitedly, “Mat’s voice is beautiful.” I bit down on my lip and looked up at him nervously, “I love you guys’ music but I’ll be honest, it was hard to listen to it for a while.”

He nodded his head in understanding and ran his free hand through his hair, brushing the thick fringe from off of his forehead, “I get that. Demolition Lovers used to be impossible for all of us to play.”

I squeezed his fingers and he shot me a reassuring smile. In a weird way it was nice to know that I wasn’t the only one who went through a hard time whilst being separated from those I loved.
Bob and I didn’t say much after that, the silence not bothering either of us. Frank soon returned three coffees in hand. Two of them were handed to me and I grinned. I smelled the contents of the mug and grinned at the familiar scent of caramel.

“You remembered my favourite drink?”

He nodded, “’Course I did, we bought you enough of them over the years.”

It was true, as a teen I’d always managed to persuade the guys to buy me my ‘girly’ coffee. The always mocked my coffee and caramel combination. None of them could understand my love of the sweet caffeinated drink. I brought the mug to my lips and sipped down the scalding hot drink, burning my tongue slightly in the process. My two ‘friends’ laughed at my scrunched up face, taking no pity on me whatsoever.



Bob sat behind the wheel of the car as we headed back to the Iero household where Mikey and Ray said they were going to meet us (we hadn’t been able to contact Gerard, and I was slightly worried).
Frankie hit the CD button on the car stereo and a familiar song began to play through the speakers. Mat Devine’s seductive voice began to sing and I smiled when I realised the song.

“Turn up the radio
I need it more than ever now.”

“Hey Frankie, can you do what the song just said?” I asked with a smirk and he just laughed as he did so.

“It's the first snow of the year
and something in the atmosphere
is coming here”

I sang along softly and caught Bob’s eye in the mirror. He smiled a little and I knew that the song was important to him as it was to me. The blonde drummer seem to be more troubled than he had been in the past, maybe it was time for the two of us to start hanging out again.
I returned the smile and turned to the window where I stared out at the scenery speeding by, my lips automatically mouthing the words to the familiar song.

“I remember, remember everything
all the tracks that shaped and changed me
inside of speeding cars
and lying on your floor”