I Can't Remember That Was Us

When I woke up the next morning, I felt extremely rested. It was the best sleep I had since the accident. Probably because I slept in my own unfamiliar bed. I looked over out the window and immediately noticed that it was dark and raining. Then I looked back and saw that Hayleigh wasn't in bed. Where did she go? I hope she didn't sneak and leave while I was asleep. Hopefully she didn't do that. I stretched out before I put my shirt on and headed downstairs to see if I could find Hayleigh. When I made it downstairs I looked into the living room and I was relieved to see her standing in front of the television. 

"Morning." I greeted her cheerfully. 

"Oh, hey. Good morning." she replied, looking back at me with a small smile. 

"Is something wrong?" I asked when she gave me a nervous look. 

"Tornado warnings. Have you looked outside?" she asked, tucking her hands into the pockets of her hoodie. 

"Yeah, it's fucking crazy out there.  What should we do?" I asked, moving to stand beside of her. I put my hand on her back to let her know that I was there for her if she needed me. I didn't want her scared, and she shouldn't be with her pregnancy. 

"Uhm...Well, I'm watching the red closely and if it gets close to Orange County, right there, then we'll have to go down to the basement." she explained, pointing out where we live on the screen. 

"Oh, okay. Is everything set up down there? Do I need to take some canned goods down there? Or flashlights and candles?" I asked, needing to do something to distract myself from worrying. It did look promising of a tornado outside. I was mostly worried about Hayleigh and our baby. I know I don't have the old memories to remind me how much I care for them, but I have this weird feeling that I want to be close to her and protect her. It's like my subconscious knows even though I can't remember. 

"No, everything is down there already. I did it earlier." she told me with a shrug. 

"You should've woke me up. You don't need to be carrying anything heavy." I told her, letting my concerned expression wash over my face. 

"I didn't have to carry anything that heavy. I'm just fine, Matt. I appreciate your concern, really, I do...but I know how the pregnancy thing goes. I would never do anything to hurt the baby." she explained before sitting on the couch. I sat beside of her. 

"I know...I just can't help it. I worry." I told her, looking down embarrassed. 

"We're fine." she told me, placing a cold hand on my shoulder. She smiled sweetly at me. I realized how much I loved her smile, it was beautiful. Maybe it helped me to fall in love with her. 

"Your hand is so cold." I said, placing my hand on top of hers to keep it warm. 

"They stay that way. You used to...never mind." she replied, looking down sadly. I immediately felt guilty, knowing that it was me that inspired the sad look on her face. I never want to see her unhappy. I'd do anything to see that smile again. 

"Hold on, I'll be right back." I announced, gently placing her hand back on her knee before I jumped up off of the couch and ran up the stairs. I grabbed the blanket off the bed and ran back downstairs. She smiled brightly when she saw me with the blanket. Her smile made me feel butterflies in my stomach, which is a new feeling for me...Well, at least it is now, I probably used to feel them all the time. I sat on the couch, pulling the blanket over both of us. 

"Is it okay if I get closer to you?" I asked her, feeling too nervous to just chance it. 

"Of course...I...I don't mind." she was trying to be confident, but she was blushing. I can sort of understand how she feels. It was like our second first date for her, but for me It feels like new. I'd like to hear about our first date. I bet it was perfect. I moved closer to her, putting one arm around her shoulders and the other around her stomach. Her stomach wasn't big yet, but I felt as if I was protecting her and the baby. 

"I want to keep you warm." I told her in a quiet voice. 

"Thank you." she replied, leaning her head on my shoulders. There's that damn feeling in my stomach again. The feeling that I could just float away. Her scent was oddly familiar and it was strangely intoxicating. I was loving every second of this. I felt complete with her in my arms. I wish I could just remember. We sat there and talked for a while, making sure to keep a sharp eye on the news. 

"So what did we do for fun when we were teenagers?" I asked, hoping to hear a good story. She chuckled at my question, or maybe at the memories. I envy her for being able to remember. 

"We'd steal liquor from your Grandma's liquor cabinet and we'd get drunk on her roof. I don't know how we didn't end up falling off." she told me with a chuckle. 

"That sounds fun. Can you tell me a story?"

"Well, When You Were Young, you and Jimmy sat the school on fire just to watch it burn." she told me. I was stunned at this, it doesn't seem like something I would do. But I bet I was such a daredevil when I was young. 

"Wow! Seriously?!" I asked to make sure she wasn't joking. 

"Yeah, seriously. You called me and all the guys to come sit on the roof with you guys and watch it burn down. You were a crazy guy...But you were my crazy guy." she said, looking down and smiling at the memories. Once again, it was something that I envy. 

"So we were dating then?" 

"No, not at all. We were best friends at the time. I don't think you ever even looked at me in a romantic way at that time."

"I don't know how I didn't. You're beautiful." I told her exactly what I was thinking. She blushed a bright red and smiled again. God, that smile!

"Well, thank you, you're sweet. That's exactly what I thought about you back then. You were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen with those golden eyes and big dimples. But all you thought about was getting drunk and buying every Guns N Roses CD."

"Typical teenage boy, right? But I'm sure it didn't take me long to notice you." I added, knowing that I'd have to notice her. 

"Actually it took you years to even notice what color my eyes were. You seemed to notice every single girl before you noticed me...I think it was because I was a little younger and it took me a little longer to develop...if you know what I mean. But you were always so good to me and you took care of me and looked out for me."

"Well at least I was a good friend. Will you tell me about how I noticed your eyes?" I asked, wondering how I didn't notice those beautiful blue eyes. 

"Well, I was like fifteen and you got me drunk for the first time. We waited for your parents to go to sleep and you mixed vodka and orange juice and we drunk a whole lot. Somehow...I can't remember how or why, but we ended up siting on the floor at the end of your bed. We were just talking about something stupid when all of the sudden you got quiet and started moving closer and closer to me. I thought for sure you were going to kissed me...and then you said 'Hey! Your eyes are blue!'...or something along those lines. I was so pissed!" she explained to me with all of the emotion in the world. We both laughed at the story. 

"Did you ever think that maybe I knew you had a crush on me and did that on purpose?"

"I don't know...If you could remember, I'd ask you." she replied before looking away from me, probably at the news. I couldn't take my eyes away from her, though. I took in all of her beautiful looks. I did well for myself, I've found the most beautiful woman in the world for myself. 

"Uhhh, Matt?  We should probably get down to the basement. The red is above Orange County right now. Get your coat and shoes on, quickly." she told me, pulling away from me and jumping to her feet. I did the same. I got my socks and shoes on and my coat. I grabbed the blanket off of the couch to take because I didn't want Hayleigh to get cold down there. She'd get sick easier since she was pregnant.

"Alright, c'mon." she said, leading me down to the basement. She definitely had everything set up. There was a couch and a table with a radio and snacks and flashlights and candles. Everything we'd need. I also saw a kerosine heater, fuel, a first aid kit, blankets, sleeping bags, and pillows. She was definitely prepared. 

"Why the hell didn't we just move to Texas or somewhere? Somewhere safe from shit like this." I complained as we sat on the couch and covered up with the blanket. 

"Well, actually, tornados are worse in Texas. But seriously, you could never even imagine moving somewhere else. We love Orange County, we grew up here."

"Yeah...Let's talk about something else. Have you thought of any names for the baby?"

"Actually I've been really thinking about that lately. If it's a boy, I want to name him James. After Jimmy and also after my uncle that died...You probably don't remember him...But if it's a girl, I was thinking Lacey and James as a middle name for her."

"Those are great names. I like them." 

***********************************

Four hours had passed and guess what? No tornado. We did all of that for nothing. Hayleigh had fallen asleep on my lap, though, so we were still in the basement on the couch. I was playing with her hair when she started to stir. 

"What time is it?" she asked in a tired voice. 

"3:48." I replied in a raspy voice. Why had she slept so long? Did she not sleep good last night? Maybe it bothered her that I slept in the bed with her. She sat up and stretched, giving me a small smile. 

"Hayleigh, it didn't bother you that I slept with you last night, did it?" I decided not to beat around the bush. 

"No, not at all. It actually made me feel a lot better. I don't think I've slept that good in a long time." she replied, giving me a concerned look. 

"Well, you slept a long time down here, it almost seemed like you were sleep deprived." 

"I have been for a week. I slept great last night, but I was still really tired. Plus, people sleep more when they're pregnant. It had nothing to do with you, I promise...well, I lied, you just make it easier for me to sleep." she explained to me. 

"Okay, I just want to make sure you're comfortable. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable at all."

"I don't think you could make me feel uncomfortable if you tried. I mean, when you're married to someone, you learn to be comfortable with them."

I was relieved that she was comfortable with me and everything. I was also a little flattered that she slept better when I was with her. Mostly because I feel the same way and it means a lot to me. I'm better off with her even though I don't remember her...well, I don't remember the memories of her. At first I didn't think that I could ever love someone like her. Now, I don't think that I could ever not love someone like her. She is perfect for me and she is mine. All mine.