Remember

I found out a bit of information about him today. I remember his bands name as I remember everything he has ever told me, and today while at the CD store I over heard a group of teenage girls giggling about an 'Andy 6.' I remember that was his MySpace name, so I listened closer. I wanted to know any information that could have possibly been about him. I just miss him that much. Well, it turns out that Black Veil Brides did make it big, and they are going to be at Warped Tour this year. He is going to be at Warped Tour. I am thinking about going just so I can see him, but I'm not sure yet.

I feel like I'm stalking him now. With this information that he actually did it, he's accomplished his goals, I now know that I can just put his name into google and get results. He looks amazing, as he always has.

I have a confession. The few of you that actually read these post, I am going to say sorry now. I know I was getting better, but seeing how he's grown up within the two years we haven't talked…I just couldn't stop myself from looking in the mirror and comparing. He looks so fit. He always was extremely attractive, and then you have people like me. People who shouldn't have a face.

I remember when we used to video chat and he would yell at me for hiding behind my hood or hair. I always hated him seeing my face. I was ashamed, and afraid he would stop talking to me if he knew of my face. Could that be why he left? I hope he isn't that shallow. He made me believe otherwise. While talking to him I actually felt all-right with my looks because he made me that way.

Maybe I shouldn't go to Warped Tour. He isn't going to want to see me, if he even remembers me. I bet he doesn't. Even if he did remember me, I bet he doesn't want to see me. Why would he want to? I'm hideous. Please don't yell at me for saying that, it's honestly how I feel. I look in the mirror and hate the person I see staring back at me. But we'll save that for another day, another post.

Back to whether or not I should go to Warped Tour. Well, I want to, I want to see him, even if I couldn't go right up to him to talk to him. Just seeing him would be enough for me, but I don't listen to any of the bands going. Does that make me pathetic?

Probably.

I miss you so much, Andy.