I Dare Not Ask Who's Been Helping You Fall Asleep

Alex and Jasey… Jasmine and Jack… Lisa? Now inexistent ex-boyfriend and Mary Jane? The only two names that sounded right together… to me at least, was Alex and Jasmine. So why couldn’t it be that easy…

“What other things about relationships should we know?” Lisa asked.

Lisa was the only one still paying attention and for that I was grateful. She seemed interested when unlike earlier she looked bored out of her mind. Lisa was actually starting to grow on me. She always tried to be nice to me and anyone who could put up with my bitchiness couldn’t be too bad.

There was nothing I wanted more than to just stop doing these stupid lessons. It’s not like Alex needed me anymore and he definitely seemed like he wanted to be somewhere far more interesting right now. My brain started to go into overdrive. Should I keep fighting a losing battle? Pessimism was setting in. What was the point really? Why did I insist on wanting someone who clearly wanted someone else?
They said love made people do crazy things. Well, whoever “they” were sure knew what they were talking about.

But for some reason I kept a hold on Alex even if it meant I was pushing him closer and closer to Jasey. “Okay, point number two, never start a relationship trying to be the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s just going to make you second guess everything that you do and insecurity is not hot. You’ll want to make sure that everything you do is right, but that’ll just make you paranoid, besides girls like a little spontaneity.”

“Point three, don’t try too hard in everything. Don’t get me wrong make an effort when necessary, but also try to make every thing you do seem flawless even if, you know, it’s not.

Four, don’t overanalyze what the girl or guy is thinking, because you’ll probably end up convincing yourself that they’re thinking something that they’re not. It’s much easier to focus on what your thinking or feeling, because that can be confusing enough.

Five, if you’re too nervous to make a move, ask her out, blah blah blaah. Just…I’m bored.”

I paused to see if they had noticed. No one did.

Lisa was staring off into the distance similar to the way Alex had earlier.

Jack was zipping and unzipping his pants.

Alex was asleep.

“Six, I’m going to pretend like I’m saying something important even though I’m not.”

I paused once more. No one even noticed that I wasn’t telling them tips any more.

“Seven, since clearly none of you give a shit to anything I’m saying I figure I’ll talk about the art of… masturbation.”

With that one word Jack’s fly zipped up quickly with a defining zip sound. Lisa snapped back into reality. And Alex “woke up.” I doubt he had even been sleeping.

“Am I boring you guys?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Not anymore.” Jack said excitedly.

I couldn’t help but laugh at how quickly I had gotten their attention. “Keep your pants on, Jack.”

“Okaaaay… but it’ll be hard.”

What will be hard, exactly? I thought to myself. I started to laugh to myself feeling my cheeks get warm.

“Why don’t we call it a night?” I said finally. “We’re pretty much done anyways.”

“Yeah, fine, sure, whatever.” Alex said in monotone. I guess he was still pretty out of it from just waking up. As they got up to leave Alex pulled me aside.

“Jasmine, can I talk to you for a sec?” He whispered.

“What’s with the secrecy?” I whispered back harshly even though the way his voice came out raspier was a complete turn on. I was still ticked off from the way he completely ignored me the entire time.

Alex was fumbling with his fingers after a quick moment he looked into my eyes. Once again his soft brown eyes were cloudy. They always got this way when he was nervous or confused. “Do you think you could come over to my house tonight?” He asked.

My mind started racing. The last time I had gone over to his house we kissed. The last time this had happened I thought that Alex really could like me, because that kiss had sent a spark up my spine.

“Um… I could, but—” That’s when I remembered that I was currently on lock down from the parental, that parental being my mother. “I can’t, remember; I’m grounded.”

“Oh, right.” His face fell. He looked like a sad puppy. The way his eyes got big and wide. It was a shame that he didn’t fully understand how good looking he was. There’s nothing I wanted more than to make him happy.

“But maybe I can. My mom’s probably forgotten about it by now.”

Alex smiled, but it still looked like his mind was preoccupied. Maybe he hadn’t been thinking about Jasey this entire time.

“The only way I can come over to your house tonight is if I pretend that I’m at a girl’s house. She always has this weird thing about wanting me to be friends with more girls, because I’m always around guys.”
“Just tell her you’re spending the night at Lisa’s.” Alex suggested.

“Who’s staying at my house tonight?” Lisa asked joining our conversation.

I shared a panic glance with Alex. Our eyes connected and I could tell he felt the same way. Whatever Alex had planned, whatever it was, didn’t need to involved more people. I watched as Alex tried to sputter an excuse for why he had mentioned Lisa’s name.

But I took over. “Um…” I started. “Actually, that’s a lie for me staying at Alex’s tonight.”

Lisa raised an eyebrow suspiciously. Okay… maybe that did sound a little iffy. It sounded so strange and devious like we really were planning something that no one could know about, our little secret. Although I didn’t even know what this secret entailed.

“Jack’s coming too.” Alex said quickly.

“Jack’s coming where?” Then all of sudden Jack was there too. Now, it seemed like the entire gang was being included in what Alex had wanted to just be between him and I. Without realizing it at first, I wanted it to hold on to the feeling that it was just be between us as well.

“Apparently, you guys are having a sleep over at Alex’s house and I’m not invited.” Lisa sulked. I could tell that she saw through the bull shit.

“We’re having a sleep over at Alex’s?” Jack asked clearly confused. I stepped on his toes suddenly. “Yow! I mean— yeah we’re having a sleep over at Alex’s.”

“We we’re just getting ready to ask you.” I added.

“Sure you were.” Lisa said sarcastically, but she couldn’t help but smile.

I looked at Alex warily.

A night at Alex’s what could possibly go wrong?