I Dare Not Ask Who's Been Helping You Fall Asleep

The thought of losing it can be consuming. Who’s going to be your first? How’s it going to feel? Will you be wasted or will you be in love? Will you be ready? Will it hurt? Blah, blah, blah. So many questions that just make the thought of sex so… taboo. But when it actually happens? You find that those thoughts just get more demanding and defined until you get to the point where you’re no longer thinking, you’re just feeling. My first time was definitely unexpected…

Before we got to my house, we picked up a box of pizza. The smell of pizza seemed to make Alex come to. I heard him groan in the backseat. I stole a glace at Alex who had been passed out in the backseat.

“Oh, it looks like Alex’s waking up.” I told Jack.

Jack momentarily spazed out. “No. Don’t talk. Trying not to crash.” Jack’s hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.

“Jack, calm down. You’re driving perfectly fine.” I assured him.

He really was, much better than Alex had anyways. He turned to look at me, but quickly swerved and put his eyes back on the road.

“If you keep your eyes on the road,” I added with a chuckle.

We made it to my house in one piece. I took the box of pizza inside and came back out to see Jack struggling with Alex. He was halfway out the car, but he was refusing to come out.

“What’s with Alex?” I ask Jack.

“Something about needing to talk to Jasey.” Jack said shrugging. He let go of Alex’s leg and Alex scrambled back into the back seat. He moved over to the far left side and grabbed the seat in front of him. He looked around bewildered.

“Where the fuck is the steering wheel?” He yelled.

I open the door on the other side and look at Alex. “You’re beyond wasted. Why don’t you come inside?”

“Will Jasey be in there?” Alex asked quietly, hopefully.

I eyed Jack and he looked at me. Unsure of how to respond, I turned back to Alex. “Um, sure. Or better yet, you can tell us what happened between you two tonight. Would you like to do that?” I asked sweetly. I felt like I was talking to a five year old. And maybe after I can bake you a batch of cookies, tuck you in bed and read you a bed time story, yeah?

Uh, no.

Alex shook his head, “No, I think I’ll stay here tonight.” He curled up into a ball on the backseat and burst out laughing. His face was turning bright red from laughing so hard. I wondered how much he had to drink tonight. It must have been a lot, because Alex could handle his liquor.

I didn’t know what to say to convince him to come out of the car. “We have pizza.” I offered.

This caused him to laugh even harder. I looked at Jack for help. Together he and I lifted Alex up and dumped him on the sidewalk. I breathed heavily. For a skinny dude, Alex sure was heavy.

“You guys are so weak!” Alex claimed.

“You could help, you know.” I huffed. Sober Alex was adorable. Drunk Alex was fucking annoying.

Alex curled up into a ball on the ground. This seemed to be his new favorite position, a regression back into the childhood fetal position. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he started to suck his thumb. Luckily, he didn’t.

“You guys don’t understand,” Alex exclaimed. “Jasey and I are made for each other, but she doesn’t think so. She just used me!” Alex sat up to stare sadly at us.

No, fucking way. Did he just say that Jasey used him? This was it, my chance to find out what had happened.

“She used you? Does that mean you guys are through?” I asked.

“None of you’re fucking business, Jasmine.” Alex slurred. I could feel myself heating up. His rolled his eyes back as if he was trying to see behind him until this movement cause his head to tilt back. This in turn caused him to fall backwards onto his back so that he was looking up at the sky.

I didn’t care that Alex was drunk. That was uncalled for. “What did you just say?”

“The stars are so pretty.” He sang in a sweet melody. “So, so pretty…”

I looked at Jack and he could tell I was getting progressively ticked off. That was it. I went and got my hose turning it on full blast. I walked back to Alex and sprayed him until he was yelling every curse word imaginable and soaking wet.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Alex said jumping to his feet. He wiped the water out of his eyes. At least he was awake now.

“That’s what you get for being an ass face.” I told him while still holding the hose up and continuing to point it front of him as a warning.

“I don’t even know half the shit I said!” Alex said defensively. “Ah,” he said with a wince. His hands went to his head.

He stumbled on his feet like he was about to pass out probably from getting up so quickly. He lurched forward, but then steadied himself. I thought he was okay until his eyes closed and he fell forward. I caught him in my arms and his head landed in my chest. His soft cheek rubbed against my skin. My cheeks instantly grew warm from his touch. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

“Um… Jack can I have some help?”

Jack looked, went forward to help us, and then changed his position. He looked at us from another angle. With a confused look on his face he said, “I’m not sure how.”

“Ok, fine just open the door.” I grunted and tried to adjust Alex’s weight. I was successful in getting his head to now rest on my shoulder.

I don’t how I did it, but somehow I managed to drag Alex across my yard to the front door and to my bedroom. I threw him onto my bed with great difficulty. He groaned and blinked his eyes open slowly.

“What’s going on?” He mumbled.

“You’re about to go to sleep. That’s all.” I said softly. I didn’t feel like bringing up the party.

“Oh, ok.” He answered sleepily. I tried not to watch as Alex took off his wet clothes so that he was just in his boxers. He crawled under my bed covers. He seemed completely unaware that this wasn’t his bedroom, or his bed. He must have been really out of it.

I went up to turn off the lights.

“Hey, Jasmine, where’s Jack?” I head Alex murmur.

“He’s in the living room waiting for me. I think we’re gonna watch a movie.” I turned to shut the door, but heard Alex say one more thing.

“He’s lucky to have you.”

I didn’t know what to say. What did he mean by that?

I looked at Alex whose eyes were already closed. “Um… thanks.”

But I doubt he heard me, because his eyes were closed and he was already breathing deeply. I turned off the lights and walked back into the living room. Jack was sitting there with heavy eyes. He looked so adorable sitting there on my couch waiting for me. I smiled and walked over to him. As soon as I sat down his eyes brightened. He lifted up his right arm allowing me to snuggle closer to him.

“How’s Alex?” Jack asked as the movie began.

“Asleep.” I lifted my feet off the ground and tucked them under me on the couch before mumbling into Jack’s shoulder. “He said you were lucky to have me.”

“He’s right.” Jack leaned his head onto mine.

I sat up straighter to look at him. “Really?” I asked.

He took my hand and squeezed it. “I always get this feeling that you’re going to like float away or something. I don’t know it’s stupid.” He told me honestly.

I straightened up and looked him straight in the eyes, “I’m not going to float away.”

“’Never?”He asked with raised eyebrows.

“Never ever.”

He started to rub circles into my arm making my entire arm body tingle. He leaned down to kiss me just below my ear. I breathed in deeply and closed my eyes. As he moved further down my neck I moved until I was laying with my back on the couch. Jack hovered over me.

Then everything escalated.

He removed my shirt and threw it on the ground. He started nibbling on the skin just below my right collarbone making my breath short. I grabbed his head with both hands, letting the tips of my fingers tug on his hair. I brought his face to mine and kissed him until I felt his body weaken and fall against me.

His soft warm lips were so inviting, so urgent like they had been impatiently waiting for me, yearning for me. I kissed back just as strongly. I flipped him over causing us to fall of the couch onto my soft carpet.

I couldn’t help but giggle as I landed on his warm body. I pulled away and tilted my head back letting my hair fall over my shoulders and out of my face. Then Jack spoke those three simple words that for some guys, were impossible to get out. They rushed over me and heated my body up more than his kiss.

Without even thinking I found myself repeating them.