I Dare Not Ask Who's Been Helping You Fall Asleep

Jasmine’s POV:

I didn’t know what else to do. It was as if all my fears from the past were confirmed, Alex Gaskarth didn’t love me.

I buried myself deeper under my blanket, but I couldn’t seem to get comfortable on my couch. I kept moving around until with too much moving I fell to the ground. I couldn’t help but sigh at my new position on the ground. I felt so defeated and so heavy. It was a strange feeling almost like I had no motivation or energy to even get off the saddening floor.

I guess I could just lay here and wallow in my misery.

But that wasn’t me. Being so helpless like I was now was just reminding me of him.

Who was I kidding? No matter how much I tried to forget him, I knew I would never be able too. The way he smiled and laughed, the way he sang and performed, the way he kissed me… it was everything I wanted to be a part of.

The thing that I couldn’t help thinking about the most was his eyes. They were the lightest shade of brown that had a way of shinning when he was excited and got darker when he was upset. I wanted to look in those eyes again. Just the thought of them made me think about the way they looked right before he kissed me. They had been shinning.

So then why had he run?

I let out a groan into my living room floor. It was just so unfair! Why couldn’t he feel the way I did? I thought back to high school and all those times he had hurt me without even knowing it. No guy had a right to make a girl feel like that. It didn’t make sense to me at all. Whenever I was around Alex I felt a magnetic pull towards him, attracting me toward him. Could he really not feel it too?

I closed my eyes wanting nothing more than to start over, to never have met him.

Suddenly, I heard something at my window. It sounded strangely like… a guitar? I lifted my head up slowly. There standing in the aggravating window that I always forgot to cover with my blinds was Alex Gaskarth. He caught my eyes and smirked, probably at the shocked smile on my face.

I stood up in disbelief and walked slowly toward the window.

“I was dreaming we were running from a city burning down…” He was singing to me. I stared as he sang, “Now there’s a piece of me, tells me that I shouldn’t leave every time I see her face, because you’re the type, you come around, love you take my breath away…

But the truth is she has no idea that I’m even here.”

He finished singing the first verse and chorus. I put both hands on the window pane as if to get closer, to feel what he was saying. Alex let the next verse fade away to put his palms in the same place as mine. We looked at each other communicating with our eyes. Even though there was a pane of glass between our hands, I could feel that pull. Very slowly, I motion toward my front door. Understanding instantly, Alex went to meet me.

I opened it and there he was. He was here for me.

For me.

He began talking instantly. “I don’t know how we ever drifted apart maybe it was the moment you started helping me get Jasey, maybe it was when you started dating Jack, but while we were in high school I always thought that maybe we’d have a chance to be together. Then you moved and I lost all hope. That’s why when I saw you last night at our show, I knew I had to see you, even if it was just one last time; I just had to be sure. All those years I had no idea you liked me and you had no idea that I loved you.”

It came all out in a rush and I let Alex’s words wash over me. Nothing needed to be said. The pull between us brought our chest together and then our lips. He kissed me fully almost forcefully like we had been waiting all our lives for this. He held me tightly, bringing me closer by putting his arms around me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me up, my legs instantly wrapping themselves around him. His hands were squeezing my things to keep me up, to keep me close. It was as if our lips were made for each other.

Everything felt right.

No longer would I have to wonder what girl he was with next, what girl was in his bed, what girl was helping him fall asleep, because now he was mine.

And I wasn’t letting him go.