Untangle Me

The day was over and the field was now empty. Mary and I had helped Vito pack up the tent and now I was back at the bus. I didn’t know when John was planning on taking me to… well, I didn’t know where either. So I just stayed in the clothes I wore that day and waited on the couch and read. It was hard to concentrate on the book, though, because I was becoming increasingly nervous as time passed. I shouldn’t be nervous, it’s not like this is a real date, but for some reason, thoughts of John always made me anxious. It was around 8:30 when John came walking onto the bus.
“Hey, there you are. Are you ready?” He asked. I nodded and put my book down on the table and stood up.
“Hey, you’re reading the poetry book I got you.” He grinned.
“Oh, yeah. I am.” I said, looking back at the book.
“Okay, well lets head out.” He said and we left the bus and started to walk.
“So, are we walking to where ever we’re going?” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s not too far. I hope that’s okay.” He said.
“That’s fine.” I shrugged. “Will you tell me where we’re going?” I asked.
“Nope.” He answered simply. I sighed and followed him quietly for a while. That is until he tried to lead me into the woods.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking back at me as I stopped.
“You really expect me to go into the woods alone with you at night? Where no on can hear my screams?” I raised an eyebrow. He just laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me along through a narrow path in the woods.
“You know, if they find my body, they’ll know it was you.” I stated.
“Oh hush.” He told me and continued to lead me a few more yards until the woods opened up into a large lake. It was beautiful, the glow of the sun was just barely peaking above the horizon, ready to disappear, and the water looked so peaceful. I looked over to see a blanket laid out by the water. John pulled me over to it and we sat down.
“How did you find this place?” I asked.
“Google Earth. The wonders of the internet.” He smiled and I laughed.
“And when did you lay out this blanket?” I asked.
“Right before I came to get you. Don’t worry, it hasn’t been laying here for too long.” He smiled. I laughed lightly.
“So, what did you plan on doing out here?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Talk I guess.” He shrugged.
“Alright. Then let’s talk.” I said. He paused a moment and then spoke.
“Why do you hate me?” He asked.
“I don’t hate you!” I said.
“Well you sure as hell don’t like me.” He retorted.
“No. I do like you. I just don’t like the way you act sometimes.” I told him.
“Like when?” He asked.
“Like how you treat girls. And how you talk to me like I’m some future booty call. It’s your life John, do what you want. Sleep with as many girls as you want. But just don’t expect me to be one of them.” I told him.
“I don’t mean to come off like that, Jamie. I don’t expect you to be ‘some future booty call’. I know you’re not like that. That’s one of the reasons I like you so much.” He paused and looked out at the water. “Okay Jamie. Do you want the truth? Do you want to hear the whole story?” He looked at me.
“If you want to tell me.” I said, looking back.
“I do. I want you to know.” He said and looked at his feet as he spoke. “I was dating this girl for a long time. I think we almost hit the one year mark. And I loved her. I really did. I thought she was the one. And I thought she felt the same way. But then I found out she had been cheating on me for like 3 months. And when I confronted her, she didn’t even apologize. I was going to try and make things work, but she told me she didn’t want to. She dumped me! After that, I was just really angry at the world. And really angry with girls. I know that I had no right to be angry with all girls because of one girl’s actions, but I was. So I started to sleep around. I thought of it as some kind of sick revenge on her, but it wasn’t. It just made me feel worse about myself. The night that we met at the club, I was there to pick up a girl. But then Kenny brought you guys over and we all started to talk and there was just something about you. And I knew that you weren’t a one-night stand kind of girl, but I didn’t even care. I just wanted to talk to you and be near you. But then when the whole thing with you and Pat happened, I got upset. I thought that you two were going to end up together or something. I don’t know, isn’t that what always happens? The childhood best friends reunite and fall in love and live happily ever after? That’s why I was kind of grilling you guys at Johnny Rockets. But that just made me look like a jerk. So when he went home with you, I figured that was it. My chances with you were over. So I went out that night and found a girl and, well you know the rest of the story. But the next morning, when I walked out with her and you were there, my heart dropped. I was so embarrassed. And then when you called me out, saying that you never expected me to be that kind of guy, I lost it. I was so mad. At myself, not you. You were right. I wasn’t that kind of guy and I didn’t want to be. So I stopped. I haven’t been with anyone since. I haven’t even gone to a club. When I would randomly disappear for hours, I was actually going to different place, places that meant something to me, and just thinking. Trying to figure out my life. And then you started to always be around. We were always all hanging out together and I slowly realized that you and Pat had nothing going on and my hope built. I was the one that brought up the idea of you and Mary coming on tour with us, because I wanted to be able to spend more time with you. And when you agreed, I was really happy. Knowing that I was going to be with you for a while, made me want to actually be with you, like, make you mine. So I started flirting with you. But I haven’t flirted with a girl in so long, and it came out too aggressive. I knew it was turning you off but I didn’t know what else to do but keep it up. And I never should have forced you to come on this date. It was stupid. I’m sorry.” He finished, taking a long breath after having talked so much.
I had listened quietly and intently to everything he had said. I was in shock. He had confessed so much and I didn’t know how to process it. There was so much that I wanted to say, but I didn’t know where to start. I looked out at the water and saw it illuminated by the moon. It had gotten a lot darker out since we had sat down, but we were in the rays of the moonlight, so we could see each other. After a moment of me not saying anything, John spoke.
“I know that I’ve probably ruined any future relationship with you by the way I acted, but I just wanted you to know how I felt. And that I’ll stop harassing you now.” He said. I could hear the sadness in his voice. I just looked at him.
“The stars are really bright.” I told him, deciding that maybe the best thing to say was nothing at all. He looked up at the sky and nodded.
“Yes, yes they are.” He sighed. I laid down on the blanket and looked up at the sky. I felt John looking at me, but after a moment he laid down too. I scooted closer to him and rested my head on his chest. I felt his body stiffen for a moment, but then he relaxed and hesitantly put his arm around me. We laid there in silence for a while watching the stars until I spoke up.
“John?” I asked.
“Yeah?” He responded.
“Thank you for telling me.” I said.
“You’re welcome.” He said. We sat in silence for a moment longer until I sat up and looked at him.
“John, how are we going to navigate back through these woods in the dark?” I asked, slight worry in my voice. He smiled and sat up.
“I thought about that.” He said as he stood up and walked a couple feet to a boulder. He bent down and picked up a bag. “That’s why I brought this.” He said, reaching into the bag as he walked back over to the blanket. He pulled out a flashlight and handed it to me. “I also brought a first aid kit,” He said, showing me. “Incase we got attacked by a rabid squirrel or something.” I laughed and stood up, turning on the flashlight.
“Well someone came prepared. But we should head back, we’re hitting the road in a half hour.” He nodded and gathered up the blanket and stuffed it in the bag. I grabbed his hand and lead the way using the flashlight back through the short path until we made it back to civilization and streetlights. I turned off the flashlight and handed it back to him and he put it in the bag with the other things. We started walking again, and I took his hand back in mine. He looked down at our hands intertwined and smiled and then started to laugh.
“What so funny?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.
“Nothing. I’m just so happy right now.” He grinned. I chuckled to myself and we continued the short walk back to the venue. We weaved our way through the buses until we found our own. I stopped outside of the door and turned to him.
“I had a nice time John.” I said.
“Me too actually. Considering everything that happened.” He said.
“Maybe we can do it again sometime. Like an official first date.” I smiled.
“I’d really like that.” He grinned.
“Well, you know where to find me.” I smiled before turning around and opening the door, making my way in. I heard him sigh happily before following me in.