Untangle Me

I woke up the next morning and my head was killing me. I slowly opened my eyes and groaned at the light seeping through the curtain. I sat up slowly, un-entwining my body from John’s sleeping frame. I looked down to see that he was just in a pair of boxer-briefs. I looked down at myself to find that I was only wearing my underwear. I fumbled to grab the sheet and cover my exposed chest. I closed my eyes and tried to remember what happened last night, but could only remember pieces of the night, and nothing after I pushed John into my bunk. Seeing how we woke up, it’s pretty apparent that we had sex.
My eyes burned as I tried to fight back the urge to cry. I crawled to the far corner of the bunk, as far as I could get from John, and hugged my knees, still using the sheet to cover myself. I couldn’t even look at him, so I buried my face in my knees. I wasn’t upset with him; I had no right to be. I was mad at myself. And I was ashamed and embarrassed. Not only was I not ready to sleep with him, but I had done it while drunk off my ass and I would never even remember it.
Tears started to fall from my eyes, even though I tried to stop them. I didn’t want to make him feel bad. I sat there and tried to get my emotions out before he woke up.
I must have been crying harder than I thought because I didn’t even realized John had woken up until I felt the bed move and his body next to mine.
“Jamie, what’s wrong baby?” He asked worried. I sniffed and wiped my eyes before raising my head.
“Nothing, nothing. I’m fine.” I said, still not able to look at him. I pulled the sheet up higher and crossed my arms over my chest, still feeling exposed. John recognized this and grabbed the closest item of clothing, which happened to be his shirt, and handed it to me and even looked away while I put it on.
Once I had it on, he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into him.
“Jamie, we didn’t do anything last night if that’s what you’re upset about.” He told me.
“W-what?” I asked in shock, finally looking at him.
“I stopped us before anything happened. I knew you didn’t actually want to, and I never want you to regret anything in this relationship, especially something like sex, so I stopped. Nothing happened, I promise.” He smiled lightly, trying to comfort me.
“So we didn’t…?” I asked unbelievingly, trailing off.
“No.” He assured me. I couldn’t believe he had stopped me when I had thrown myself at him; he really was too good for me. I so overcome with happiness that I tackled him in a hug, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Thank you so much John.” I spoke into his neck.
“Don’t thank me baby; I just want you to be happy.” He said. I pulled back and kissed him.
“I’m sorry that I’m not ready, but I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” I told him but he shook his head.
“Do not be sorry for that Jamie. I don’t want to do anything until you are 101% sure that you’re ready. And you have nothing to make up to me. Do you understand?” He asked, looking at me seriously. I just nodded and buried my face in his neck. He pulled me into his lap and rocked me lightly.
“Go back to sleep. We still have time before we have to wake up.” He told me. I nodded and looked up at him, resting my hand on his cheek.
“You’re a really good guy John.” I told him. He smiled softly at me.
“Well you bring out the best in me.” He said. I smiled and leaned up to kiss him sweetly before resting my head against his chest and letting him rock me to sleep.