Untangle Me

I woke up to an empty apartment. Maybe Mary went home with Lauren… or a guy. I really hope she didn’t. She’s too good to be having one-night stands with a bunch of perverts. I could never have a one-night stand or even be hook-up buddies with someone. I just think sex is supposed to be meaningful, with someone you care about, and someone who cares about you. Maybe that’s just me being naive.
I took a shower and dressed and was watching TV on the couch when Mary stumbled in, still wearing the same outfit as last night. Ah, the walk of shame, something I’ve witnessed her do too many times. She looked up at me and blushed.
“Morning.” I said to her.
“Morning.” She said shyly.
“You gotta stop doing this. It’s going to catch up with you soon.” I told her sadly.
“Whatever mother!” She groaned sarcastically.
“You know I’m right!” I called after her as she walked to the back, towards her bedroom. I heard the door slam in response.
I sighed. I want to let her live her life, but I am her big sister, and I want to protect her. She’ll realize I’m right one day, I just hope it’s not too late. I felt the need to get out of the apartment, away from my thoughts. I told Mary I was going out, to which she grumbled an ‘okay’.
I started driving with no destination, just making random turns and somehow I ended up at the park. Not a park, the park. The park Pat and I practically lived at when we were kids. We spend most sunny days here, playing, talking, or just doing nothing at all.
I got of my car slowly. The place was empty, I’m assuming because it was a school day. I walk around, letting all the memories flood back to me like a tsunami. I sat on the swing, remembering how Pat would always push me first before getting on his. He was such a gentleman, even at 7.
I went over to the largest tree in the park and walked around it until I found it. It was still there, no reason why it wouldn’t be I suppose. Mine and Pat’s names and the word forever carved into the tree with a heart around them. It was slightly higher up them I remember, I suppose it should be after 8 years of the tree growing.
To anyone else, it would have looked like a couple had carved this, etching their love permanently. But no, it wasn’t like that. We loved each other, yes, but in a different way. Like brother and sister I suppose, but even more, if that’s possible.
I sighed. I wondered if it’s still true. Jamie and Pat Forever. Does he still think about me, wonder where I am or if we’ll ever meet again? I like to think he does. That he still feels the same way about me now that he did the day we carved our names in this tree. I feel the uncontrollable need to find out.
Without thinking about my actions I head back to my car and start to drive. My head is filled with to many thoughts to be thinking about what I’m doing. Before I know it, I’m in front of my old house. I stare at it for a good 10 minutes, taking everything in. There’s a new front door and shingles. Someone has dug up my mother’s flowers and replaced them with bushes. I think the roof has been replaced. But it’s my house, I can tell. But seeing my old home isn’t why I came here.
I park on the opposite side of street as my old house and get out of the car. I crossed the street onto the sidewalk in front of my house but keep walking to the house next door. Pat’s house. I hope. I walk right up front pathway to the front door. I take a big breath and ring the doorbell. Wait. Did I just…. ring the doorbell. Are those footsteps? Holy crap I did not just do this. No this is wrong. I can’t do this, not now. The knob on the door. It’s turning. And the door is opening.