Pride

It’s times like this where I question myself. Am I giving in or is this the right thing to do? I’m sure most people would go with the ladder but I’m not like most people. Though I have become better at accepting this new…sexuality of mine I still don’t like admitting to it regularly.

Damn it, I’m a guy after all and since birth we’ve been taught guys date girls. Vaginas and boobs are the way to go! But Kai is just so irresistible.

I hum and look to the boy curled into my side. His long locks brush against his nose, which wiggles unconsciously in his sleep. Something about the way his head rests against my chest and the way his fingers grasp onto my shirt like I’m his most precious belonging makes this cuddling session ok with me.

My arm stays put around him and for some reason my grip tightens on him when he begins to stir. Easily the boy falls back into his blissful slumber and continues holding me close.

What time is it, I wonder? How long have I been watching Kai sleep? Since when have I enjoyed such a dumb thing? Watching someone sleep, fuck that’s creepy. My mind is leaving me faster and faster each day. It’s obviously Kai’s fault, that damned bastard.

Grumbling to myself I face Kai and press my lips to his temple. My nose brushes his dark locks and his scent takes hold of my senses. Once again I try thinking of when Kai drove me so crazy. Has it always been this way and I was just too stubborn to realize it? That’s probably it but at the same time I wonder how I couldn’t realize it.

It’s so obvious it’s sickening.

Somehow I fall asleep only to be woken up far too soon by Kai shaking me. I groan, swat him away and turn to the opposite direction. But the dumb ass continues to try and wake me. Can’t he see that I’m sleeping? This is very important!

“Shiloh wake up,” Kai whispers into my ear. His breath sends a chill through me. “It’s almost noon.”

“Then wake me at noon, dumb ass,” I grunt and grab the pillow from beneath my head. Kai didn’t expect me to hit him with it so he went tumbling off the bed when I did. I chuckle and roll onto my stomach to shut my eyes once again.

“Shiloh!” Kai cries and the fool is dumb enough to pull me off the bed.

“You’re going to regret that shit head,” I growl and throw the covers off me to glare up at the idiot. Kai grins shyly. “Do you have a reason for waking me up before noon on the weekend? I will fucking kill you if it isn’t good.”

Kai twirls his thumbs. “Your mom told me to wake you. She wants us to go to town with her.”

“And you told her…?”

“T-That I’d wake you…what w-was I supposed to say?” Kai takes a few steps back at my burning eyes. I don’t blame him. I’m not the nicest of people when woken up…actually I’m not the nicest person period but that’s beside the point.

“You should have told her to go by herself! What does she want us to go with her for?”

Kai shrugs and seconds later my mom is knocking on the door, asking if I’m ready. Grumbling I get ready and follow Kai out of my room to the kitchen. Mom is waiting for us there with a smile. “Ready to go?” she asks.

“Why are you making us go with you?” I inquire.

“Because I felt like it, I don’t need a reason!”

Kai and I laugh at this. She sounds like me…or rather I sound like her. Maybe she’s the one I got my attitude from? Then who did I receive the potty mouth from? It must have been dad. He can be a little shit sometimes and mom…well when she hears me cuss the way I do she flips the fuck out!

Mom takes us to the grocery store with her where she hands us a list. We’re instructed to get everything on the list and return to her when finished. Of course Kai being the indecisive bastard that he is just won’t shut up through out the whole thing. He picks up what we need then stops to stare at everything else, compare prices, calories and such.

“Kai,” I finally groan. “Can we please just grab something and leave? Honestly, mom and I don’t care.”

“B-But…” Kai looks towards the milk. “You s-should get the healthiest one but t-the cheapest would a-also be good. Money is so s-scarce now days.”

“If you don’t stop this I am going to rip your balls off,” I threaten and head for the bread.

Kai squeaks and runs after me. Once behind me Kai grabs my bicep and walks incredibly close to me. A few people glance at us because they notice that we’re a little too close to be considered friendly. I shrug Kai off but he grasps me a second time and a third and a fourth. I thought by the fifth time I shoved him off he would realize that I had no intention of showing so much affection in public. However he must be dumber than I thought if that's possible.

"Will you stop that?" I hiss after a woman walks past us. The moment she sees Kai's grip on me she pushes her child's eyes in a different direction and although she's too far for me to hear her I know what she's saying or at least have an idea of it. Her face spoke for her.

It really pisses me off, the way people react to same sex relationships. Sure I'm not very affectionate with Kai but never once did I think that two males or two females weren't allowed to be together. It's their life and they can do with it as they please. Why does it matter if they love the same sex? It doesn't change them as a person. They laugh the same, smile the same, talk the same and yet so many people act like they're an entirely different species. Such bullshit.

Sighing I lead Kai back to my mom. She smiles at the sight of us and takes the food we gathered to throw into the cart.

Thankfully grocery shopping doesn't take long so we're in the parking lot in no time. As Kai and I are putting the things into the trunk a familiar voice calls for me. I glance over my shoulder to see Ed heading this way. Ed isn't the friendliest of people. He rarely bothers Kai and I mainly because he knows I'm not scared to throw a punch. His grin grows wider when he sees Kai at my side.

"You two really are attached at the hip aren't ya?" Ed chuckles, his eyes going back and forth between Kai and myself. Kai squirms under his gaze. "It's like you're dating or something."

Kai stiffens, his grip tightens around me. Scoffing, I take a step towards Ed and ask, "And if we were, do you have a problem with that?"

Kai gasps at my somewhat admission while Ed grunts, "That's fucking disgusting," and walks away. I guess it's no fun teasing if I agree to what he's assuming. Whatever, like I care. It's too early for this shit.

"S-Shiloh," Kai whispers into my ear. He's still curled into my side. "You j-just-"

"I didn't do anything. I just didn't deny or agree to his statement. So what?"

"It's one step closer!" Kai cheers. Of course he would overreact about something like this. I shouldn't have said it. Now he's going to try making me admit to the school that I'm in love with him or some nonsense like that. Because that's what it is, nonsense! Complete nonsense...