Only The Strongest Will Survive

The Bruins bench was awkwardly quiet, as if afraid to speak would send one of us into a rage. I guess a rage would be okay though, we were playing the Flyer’s for fuck’s sake! But I was pissed, Coaches were pissed, Tuukka was pissed, Recchi was angry, Team Canada was sitting in an uneasy silence and everyone else was looking at me and at the glaring Tuukka expecting disaster on Hurricane Katrina level.

“You’re only playing once every period today.” Coach said, leaning down and saying into my ear. “Make the best of it. You’re being dropped from your line and paired with Campbell and Paille. Krejci? Krejci! You’re taking McGregor’s place with Lucic and Seguin!” Coach cried to Krejci, walking over to explain.
“Krejci! Long time no see!” Lucic called out.
“Lucic, shut up and pay attention.”

I looked over at Seguin who just shrugged and patted me on the shoulder in support, not needing to say the words that I would be missed on our line through most of the game. I felt a nudge on my right and I turned to see it was Campbell, giving me a smile.
“No worries McGregor, you’re still going to be making a difference with us.” I gave a smile, looking towards the ice, as the puck was about to drop. Bergeron was setting up to take the face off with Mike Richards.
“I don’t doubt it Soupy.”

The puck dropped and instantly we were hiking that puck up the ice towards the goal, trying to hopefully do the impossible and pop the puck behind Boucher’s glove. We had been known to do such things so far in our season, why not now? Richards though was able to snatch it from a pass and bring it through our line, darting for Timmy before our defense kicked in and got it out of the way. I began to grip my stick and anxiously twisted my hands back and forth as the puck was chilling dangerously in our zone.

Thank god for Shrimpy Canadian Marchy though, smart guy was able to get it out of the zone and charge it past the Flyer’s zone and almost land it home but our boys were still at it, trying to shove it home. A rebound came out of the goal and our own Captain Chara drove it towards the goal-

The Bruins bench erupted into cheers of excitement as we score our first goal.
“Fuck yeah Zee!!!!!” I screamed, high fiving the giant Slovakian. Thirty second in and we scored. We were in the heads of the Flyers and we weren’t leaving. Not without another embarrassing loss for them and a beautiful win by us.

My usual line had gone out now and I watched with yearning as my usual line mates went out and did a number on the Flyers. They were keeping the puck well in the Flyer’s zone but a lousy pass from Lucic to Krejci was snatched up easily by none other then dear Giroux as he made a getaway for our goal. I watched in silly triumph as Boychuk swiftly took the puck away and sent it up to Seguin. Seguin then made a quick pass to Krejci and Krejci suddenly slipped the puck between the pads of Boucher and the crowd went wild again at our second goal. I screamed in triumph and my adrenaline began to pump even more through my viens.

I wanted to get back out there, the action was just too good! This luck was just too good!

Finally, finally after what felt like hours I got my moment on the ice and I kicked off with Campbell and Paille, ready to fuck the Flyers up. Hartnell, along with Leino and Briere broke our line though and charged for the goal with the puck and we bolted after them, refusing to allow them to score on our time on the ice and make us look like idiots!

Timmy effectively scooped up the puck in his glove and held it there, prompting for a whistle blow, but none came. Hartnell though wasn’t stopping his assault, skating right up into Timmy’s face and looking at the ref wondering if he should dare try to take it out of his glove. I moved in quickly, shoving Hartnell back hard, getting him out of Timmy’s zone and away from the puck. It was only then that the whistle was blown.

“The hell you up to?” I yelled. “He had the puck, it was a no go, and so you stay out of the crease!”
“The whistle didn’t blow meaning it was still in play.”
“Aww, look at you pathetic team, getting pissed off that you guys can hardly score or function like a normal team so you decide to swindle your way to the top.” Chara quickly intervened before Hartnell landed a punch to my face, Leino dragging me away from his teammate rather roughly, prompting Paille to jump in to my defense. The linesmen pulled us all apart and sent us off for a puck drop, seeming to think there was no use for any penalty.

Lining back up for the faceoff, Paille nodded his head at me, signaling that he had my back. I smiled back before going back into hockey mode, pushing off and following the puck. Trying to push through the line or falling back to defend. The Flyer’s lines had changed and I was now going to be facing one of my very least favorite players, Dan Carcillo. With the puck in possession, he had a good reason to charge towards me, so I feigned a pass to Campbell, but sent it to Paille, confusing the Flyers defense and giving Paille a good shot at the goal.

Carcillo still rammed me hard into the boards, stick cutting into my gut hard, the rink echoing with the boom of the Plexiglas being hit. My eyesight though, went red. Carcillo just crosschecked me in the gut, cross checked me right where my baby was chilling. The whistle blew and the ref signaled crosschecking, the stadium echoing with boos and jeers from Flyer fans, but that didn’t stop the barrage of Bruin on Carcillo. I got up into the guy’s face, ranting.

“You asshole, you and your fucking crosschecking!” I yelled, pissed that my emotions were getting the best of me. Carcillo shoved me back, Paille about to jump in to defend me but was held back.
“Why so bitter about hits, hun? Honestly, its what hockey is all about.” He then looked down a little before looking back into my eyes. “Or is there something else going on…” I shoved his face, the ref jumping in and pulling us all apart and sending Carcillo to the box.
“IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS CARCILLO!” I yelled after him, Paille giving me a pat on the back.

“Way to make a scene and draw attention to shit.”
“Meh.” Was all I responded with as I was called back to the bench, Coach putting a hand on my shoulder before speaking.
“That was a little too close…you’re out for the rest of this period and who knows when I’ll trust you back in there.” I turned to say I was fine but Coach was off and I sighed, reverting my attention back to the game, resting my head against my stick before hearing Tuukka pipe up from next to me.

“Told you it was a bad idea.” I slowly turned to look at him, his mouth set in a straight line, body stiff.
“I know…”
“If you did know you wouldn’t have marched out on that ice.”
“Not having this discussion right now Tuuk.” I snapped at him, ignoring him and looking back out on the ice. I don’t know what was bothering me more, the fact that Carcillo hit me in the stomach or the fact that Tuukka was right.

*****

The Boston skyline was covered over with grey clouds as rain came down heavy at some points or light another. You never knew when there was to be a next downpour, hence why I had my umbrella with me for just as I hit the cross walk button, the sky opened up again and I whipped open my umbrella to stop the torrent of water droplets from hitting me.

What a nice welcome home.

I came home to Boston late this afternoon after having beaten the Flyers for the second time in a row, 3-2. It was a close call and it all shook us but we walked out with a win nonetheless. Tomorrow night was the third game and every single NHL lover was speaking about how the Bruins were to choke again if we win tomorrow. We were apparently cursed with 3-0 leads, as everyone seems to think. But Coach drilled it into our heads over and over again that we were not cursed and to not think like that and if we do win this game but fail the next he was going to make us wish we were never born.

That’s pretty uplifting!

I gave a big, heaving sigh as I crossed the street, water dripping off the ends of my umbrella and my boots splashing as I hit puddles. Mandy wasn’t around when I had come home and I felt a big let down. I seriously wanted to and needed to talk to that girl. Her return was sudden, out of nowhere. Tuukka had just been bitter and cranky and just shrugged when wondering where she was. I took that as he really wasn’t in the best chatting mood so instead of sitting our in the quiet and awkward apartment, I took the liberty to go and find my mom and brother who I hadn’t seen in forever and to whom I had news to break to.

I shook the rain off my umbrella as I walked into the apartment building of my brother. I was highly anxious for this though for I was to tell them that I was pregnant. Ben’s going to face-palm before storming off to find Tuukka and beat his ass down while Mom is going to just slowly shake her head in disappointment. I got in the elevator and shed my rain covered jacket, shaking droplets of water upon the elevator floor and then holding on to them and the water soaking through my clothes and to my body.

I finally got to the apartment door and knocked upon it, waiting for it to be opened. My mother’s beaming face was soon framed as the door whipped open before me.
“Welcome back to Boston, Roxanne!” She then engulfed me into a big hug. “It feels like it’s been forever since I have seen you.” I smiled sadly.
“Well, that tends to happen when you join the NHL.” She let go of me and held me at arms length, looking into my green eyes.
“I guess it’s a price to pay for something as fantastic as this, huh? But let’s talk about you! Running around and busting trials and saving the hides off a fellow rival’s back?”

She then led me into the old apartment to find the TV on the NHL highlights with Ben on the couch ripping off his shoes and dumping them on the floor. I chuckled before responding.
“Yeah, it’s been a hectic couple of weeks. And when I mean hectic, I mean hectic!”
“I bet…” The TV’s sports reporters voices began to echo across the living room.

“I have to say I am a little disappointed with last night’s game with the Bruins and Flyers.”
“How so?”
“Well, they seemed to have lost their momentum that game, you know? It was a close win in the end! And what was with the line changes? McGregor wasn’t playing on her usual line but on a lower one and she was only in once every period.”
“Yeah, that was a little disappointing. I wonder what’s going on in Boston? They better get their act together before tomorrow’s game!”
“And maybe McGregor will play more, my niece is a big fan of her and was ranting about how she missed seeing her play.”

The smile I had on for my mother fell as I let out a heavy, heavy sigh. I was disappointing my fans, my city, my boyfriend, and my team. Ben turned around and looked at me.
“You going to tell us why?” He asked. “Me and mom have been wondering for awhile why you haven’t played all last game?” I came over and sat on the couch next to him as Mom sat on the love seat, all looking at me looking for answers.
“I did play last night.”
“Barely. When ever I thought I saw your number on the screen, you suddenly disappeared!”

“Well…something’s happened.” I said cautiously, my heart pounding in my chest from the adrenaline coursing through my veins, like I was in the middle of a shootout with all eyes on me and hoping to do the right thing. Ben spread out his hands, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes…what is it?” I took a deep breath and let it out.

“I’m going to have a baby.”

Silence.
“ARE YOU SHITTING ME!? I told you back when you started dating that man that I didn’t want to be an uncle!” Ben yelled before jumping off the couch and speed walking around the apartment. “Where is he? Where is that stupid goalie!?”
“Didn’t expect anything less from you…” I responded before looking at my mother who was sitting there stoned face, blinking. My stomach began to sink and I hung my head a little.
“You’re probably disappointed in me…aren’t you?” My mom gave a heavy sigh before getting up and coming to sit next to me.

“At first, I was. You’re young and in the NHL and have a lot to experience and children seriously drag that down, however rewarding they are. It was the first emotion to hit me but then I stopped real quick.” I looked up at my mom who seemed to have a smile started to grace her face, her light red hair tied in a bun but I noticed streaks of white starting to form within it. “I then began to tell myself ‘why should I be getting disappointed about this?’ I had done something way more disappointing then this, that’s for sure.” I sat up straighter, keeping my eyesight on my mother as she continued to speak. “I lost my husband and through my stupid mistakes lost my own family. But now…now it’s back.” Mom then poked my in the stomach. “And now it’s growing. No hunny, I’m not disappointed in you at all. I’m happy, happy and ecstatic.” The fear and anxiety that had began to bubble within me dissipated and I hug my mother.

“What you did was worse then this but I’m glad you saw the wrong in it and I’m glad that you are here for me for one of the biggest moments of my life.” Mom hugged me back just as tight and kissed my forehead.
“I’m glad as well.”

“I’M GOING TO KILL THAT STUPID GOALIE!”

*****

“Didn’t think you’d ever come back to Boston.” Was my greeting when I opened the door to find Mandy waving casually from the couch, smile on her face, while munching on popcorn. I could hear the sounds of some show in the background as I approached closer, hanging up my wet jacket and umbrella in the little alcove. Tuukka’s shit was gone, signaling he wasn’t in.
“I didn’t think so either…just like I never thought I would see you again.” I responded, walking into the living room and collapsing into an armchair, noticing that Mandy was watching Pretty Little Liars.

Mandy picked up the remote and shut off the TV, swinging her legs around and sit up straight and placing the bowl of popcorn on the table.
“Shock, I know. I never thought I would or want to see you again either. But shit has really changed and I really needed to come back to say how sorry I am for what I had done in college. I fucked you up a little, I know I did and…I’ve come to see what I really did.” I looked at my old college roommate, tapping my fingers on my knees curled up to my chest.

“You want to start explaining?” Mandy sighed and looked at me.
“I don’t see the issue in telling you for I know you went through the same hell hole.” I blinked.
“Jake got you, didn’t he?” She nodded.
“It all started after you left…we…well, we hung out a lot and bonded over the whole debacle between you and Steve. He felt like a great guy and for weeks I couldn’t get over how you could have cheated on him. Then it went down hill…like down, down hill. Jake seemed to be obsessed with you and just couldn’t get over how you betrayed him. I got extremely irritated and frustrated at that and told him that if he didn’t get the fuck over it I was going to leave him to his wallowing, miserable self. That went over horribly.”

Mandy shudder and looked away, reaching out and scratching a purring Finnegan.
“You don’t have to speak what he did to you, I can fill in the blanks cause he did everything from A-Z to me.”
“I know…I always wondered where you go those bruises from. Now I know. I then became so alone, you know? Feeling so empty because I was feeling exactly what you had to have felt when going through this and I didn’t take notice or believe you. You told me to watch out about him and I didn’t listen and now I was dealing with the consequences. I took solace in watching the NHL channel, something you always did. It might sound weird but…it helped me. Just losing myself for over an hour in a game. I watched every game, every team. Didn’t matter. I familiarized myself with the names, the rules, everything! Made me feel good, actually.”

I cracked a smile at that, knowing exactly what she meant.
“That’s when I got acquainted with Erika Harper…recognized Sean Morrison too…and then there was you. I was shocked, so shocked. I couldn’t believe you were on the Boston Bruins playing professional hockey! I felt so proud because I knew you deserved that.” I started to feel tears prick my eyes.
“Re…really?” I asked. Mandy nodded.
“You do deserve this.” Mandy then pulled her knees up to her chest like I was on the couch. “My depression though caused me to flunk out of college. So upset that I did that too.” I felt my jaw dropped.
“Nu uh, seriously? I am so freaking sorry!” Mandy waved a hand.
“It’s okay, it’s okay…I got away from Jake though.” I nodded.
“True that…that’s a win if you could say.”

“Yeah…I was so paranoid though about him finding me that I dyed my hair and got contacts.”
“I know the feeling…it’s horrible! My fame caught Jake’s attention and he was…stalking me. So fucking…uggg!” I hide my face in my knees and Mandy reached out and patted my arm.
“I’m sorry. But you have an entire team of hockey guys watching your back, I practically only had my parents but I couldn’t just live with them.” I lifted my head back up and smiled.
“That’s true…I do have more people to look out for me.”

“Lucky you…” I reached out and placed my hand on her shoulder, smiling at Mandy.
“But if you stick around, you might be getting more people who will look after you. Like you said…it’s been years now and things change.”
“That they do. Are you okay with putting the past behind us?” I nodded my head.
“I am because without you Erika’s career would have fallen apart. I owe you that and the fact that you have come back to do such a thing is just…” I stopped talking before chuckling.

“Like I said before, we fell into the same shithole and I knew I had to come back to apologize and prove to you how sorry that I was. I came to Boston in hopes to find you and that’s when I recognized Bobby Orr one day walking along the Charles at the same time I was, walking a-”
“Black lab named Slapshot?” I said, giggled as Mandy burst into a smile too.
“Yeah actually! How did you-”
“Can across him on the same path with the same dog.”

“Yeah, well, it took a shit load of courage to go up to him but I’m glad I did, look what it did?” Mandy spread out her hands to me.
“Tell me about it. Thank god you still had the courage you always had when we were freshman.” Mandy smiled brightly.
“I know…I’m so sorry for what I did though. Really.”
“It was terrible and I can’t forgive you.” I said, watching Mandy’s face fall before I continued. “But how can I forgive something that has been forgotten?”

Mandy growled.
“You scared me big time right there.” I laughed.
“Sorry about that.” We let our laughter fade off before Mandy spoke up again.
“Are you and Tuuk alright though? He seems rather…off.” I felt my heart drop a little at that thought.
“Not…exactly…I don’t know.” I let my head drop again. “I hate fighting.” Mandy reached out and rubbed my arm.

“Come on, spill your guts.” I looked up at Mandy.
“Alright, we’ve got into a little bit of a disagreement and are kind of bitter with each other over a bad decision of mine.” Mandy raised an eyebrow.
“And what decision is this? Going to party late on the town and did some bad shit?” I laughed.
“Nope, far from it really.”
“What is it?” She asked, leaning in and resting her chin on her folded arms upon her knees.
“Well…” I took a deep breath before telling her. “I’m pregnant.”

Mandy squealed.
“WHAT!? Nu uh, you are not!” I started to laugh.
“Yes, I am! Shock, I know.”
“Oh my god! I’m so happy for you!” Mandy lunged at me and engulfed me into a huge hug. I hugged her back before settling back into our original places on the couch.
“Yeah, I found out two days ago and I still played and Tuukka is pissed cause I…well…I guess I’m endangering our kid by still playing.” Mandy’s excitement fell a bit at that.
“I can see that…but like…you’re taking precautions right?” I nodded my head.
“Extra padding.”

Mandy shrugged.
“I guess this is a bit of a shock for the two of you, no wonder you’re both like…on edge and shit.” I chuckled.
“Yeah…big news indeed.”
“I’m happy for you. You’re going to be an amazing Mom, no matter what you do.”
“Thanks Mandy…thanks for…well, doing what you did and for those words.” Mandy shook her head.
“No Roxy, thank you for listening to me and taking me back.” I brushed the small tear that was forming on my face.
“The past is shitty but our future is a clean slate, how about we start writing good memories.”

Mandy smiled.
“I like the sound of that.” My phone vibrated and I quickly looked down, seeing the caller ID and feeling a feeling of joy fill me seeing who it was.

“Hey Adrianna! What’s the word?”

“Finally landed Roxy and god damn I never thought we would make it!” I laughed as I got up.
“Can’t wait to hear this horror story. I’m on my way to get you and the lovely guest room is waiting for your arrival!” I winked at Mandy who just smiled back. I wonder how Tuukka thinks about all these people living in the apartment…I wonder where he is…