Not Enough
nine
The summer came and went and it was time for Taylor to head to Edmonton. I wasn’t exactly excited about him leaving, but I had been prepared for this day. But it didn’t make things any easier when it finally came.
I watched him pack his last bag into the car and stood outside his house, his mother at the door, his dad waiting in the car.
“We can do this, right?”
He nodded, “We’ve made it this far, we can do it. I’ll call you as soon as I land. We’ll skype and text and call, it will be like I’m right there”
“But you’re not”
He didn’t respond, he just took my hands and started fiddling with my fingers. After a moment of silence, he kissed them.
“I love you. We are going to make this work, no matter what anyone else says.”
I sighed, “Okay, if you say so”
“I meant it when I wanted to marry you and I meant it when I said ‘I do’ and signed my name. I knew this was coming and I was prepared. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I know you’re strong and I’m strong. You’re going to make music and I’m going to play hockey. Long distance is hard, but we’ll make it work. Even if we’re the only ones that ever do”
I felt slightly better after his speech, but I was still nervous about the future. I said ‘yes’ in the heat of the moment. I don’t regret marrying him, and I undoubtedly love him, but maybe we did move this too fast. I wish there was a possibility I could be there and here at once.
“I love you” I told him, “That’s all I know right now”
“I’ll take that” he said.
“Go kick ass. Be the best”
He smiled, “You know I will”
I wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my waist. We stayed like that for a moment and I breathed him in. He squeezed me tighter and then slowly pulled away and then leaned in again for a kiss. It didn’t feel like goodbye, it felt like we were just starting. I rested both my hands on his face just as he pulled away and met his gaze, “No goodbyes” I said, “See you soon”
He smirked, “See you soon”
I let his hand go as he walked away and climbed into the car. I walked back up to the steps and stood with his mother as she waved goodbye. The car pulled out and I let out a sigh. At 18 it seems a little bit more dramatic when you let the one you love go. I felt his mom’s arm around my shoulder and I felt a bit of reassurance.
“He’s going to be amazing. I’ve never been more proud of him”
I nodded, “Me either”
--
The months began to fly by and things between Taylor and I were good. His season was going well and so was my music. I was moving my gigs from the city to parts of the province. My name was getting out there and I was really excited. Taylor was proud, and I felt supported.
I had asked Travis a few times if he thought it might be possible for me to move out of province. Maybe it would help to get my name out there a bit more around the country. I kept pestering him about it and he kept giving me the same answer.
“I’m looking into it”
“You’ve been saying that for weeks” I sighed, “I can’t see what the big deal is. My husband is there. I belong there”
“I just don’t know if I can get you any gigs out there”
“Edmonton and Calgary are big cities. It shouldn’t be that difficult to find some kind of connection out there”
He sighed, “I know Jaden, but it’s tough financially right now. I’m trying to budget”
“This is my money that I can use. My parents money. I’m not asking you for anything. Stop making excuses”
“I just think you should stay here”
“What’s the big deal? Why is it such a bad thing to—“ and before I could finish, his lips were attached to mine. My eyes widened with surprise and then I pulled away from him and then smacked him across the cheek, “Travis!”
“I’m sorry” he said, “I’ve just been—I’m just—I’m sorry”
“I’m going home and planning my move to Edmonton, understood?”
He didn’t respond, so I took it as an agreement and left him standing in the studio still hanging his head. Hand on his cheek.
It was so weird to see him like that. He was always so cocky, confident and full of himself. He always acted like he was better than everyone. We got along, enough to tolerate each other. Well, I think he more than just tolerated me.
How was I supposed to tell Taylor this?
Or was I?
I watched him pack his last bag into the car and stood outside his house, his mother at the door, his dad waiting in the car.
“We can do this, right?”
He nodded, “We’ve made it this far, we can do it. I’ll call you as soon as I land. We’ll skype and text and call, it will be like I’m right there”
“But you’re not”
He didn’t respond, he just took my hands and started fiddling with my fingers. After a moment of silence, he kissed them.
“I love you. We are going to make this work, no matter what anyone else says.”
I sighed, “Okay, if you say so”
“I meant it when I wanted to marry you and I meant it when I said ‘I do’ and signed my name. I knew this was coming and I was prepared. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I know you’re strong and I’m strong. You’re going to make music and I’m going to play hockey. Long distance is hard, but we’ll make it work. Even if we’re the only ones that ever do”
I felt slightly better after his speech, but I was still nervous about the future. I said ‘yes’ in the heat of the moment. I don’t regret marrying him, and I undoubtedly love him, but maybe we did move this too fast. I wish there was a possibility I could be there and here at once.
“I love you” I told him, “That’s all I know right now”
“I’ll take that” he said.
“Go kick ass. Be the best”
He smiled, “You know I will”
I wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my waist. We stayed like that for a moment and I breathed him in. He squeezed me tighter and then slowly pulled away and then leaned in again for a kiss. It didn’t feel like goodbye, it felt like we were just starting. I rested both my hands on his face just as he pulled away and met his gaze, “No goodbyes” I said, “See you soon”
He smirked, “See you soon”
I let his hand go as he walked away and climbed into the car. I walked back up to the steps and stood with his mother as she waved goodbye. The car pulled out and I let out a sigh. At 18 it seems a little bit more dramatic when you let the one you love go. I felt his mom’s arm around my shoulder and I felt a bit of reassurance.
“He’s going to be amazing. I’ve never been more proud of him”
I nodded, “Me either”
--
The months began to fly by and things between Taylor and I were good. His season was going well and so was my music. I was moving my gigs from the city to parts of the province. My name was getting out there and I was really excited. Taylor was proud, and I felt supported.
I had asked Travis a few times if he thought it might be possible for me to move out of province. Maybe it would help to get my name out there a bit more around the country. I kept pestering him about it and he kept giving me the same answer.
“I’m looking into it”
“You’ve been saying that for weeks” I sighed, “I can’t see what the big deal is. My husband is there. I belong there”
“I just don’t know if I can get you any gigs out there”
“Edmonton and Calgary are big cities. It shouldn’t be that difficult to find some kind of connection out there”
He sighed, “I know Jaden, but it’s tough financially right now. I’m trying to budget”
“This is my money that I can use. My parents money. I’m not asking you for anything. Stop making excuses”
“I just think you should stay here”
“What’s the big deal? Why is it such a bad thing to—“ and before I could finish, his lips were attached to mine. My eyes widened with surprise and then I pulled away from him and then smacked him across the cheek, “Travis!”
“I’m sorry” he said, “I’ve just been—I’m just—I’m sorry”
“I’m going home and planning my move to Edmonton, understood?”
He didn’t respond, so I took it as an agreement and left him standing in the studio still hanging his head. Hand on his cheek.
It was so weird to see him like that. He was always so cocky, confident and full of himself. He always acted like he was better than everyone. We got along, enough to tolerate each other. Well, I think he more than just tolerated me.
How was I supposed to tell Taylor this?
Or was I?
♠ ♠ ♠
HI!So yah, it's been ages since I updated this. My writing has improved a bit, so expect a change in my writing in this chapter compared to the ones from like...a year ago?
Anyways, I hope you like where it's going!