Come One, Come All to This Tragic Affair

I haven’t seen Frank since I blew up at him.
That was two months ago.
I’ve started going back to work, with half days at first and then full days. Throwing myself into the gallery is keeping my mind off Danny.
And, as much as I hate to admit it, off Frank.
I kinda miss him, even though we spoke a grand total of two times and one of those times I was yelling at him.
Back to work Jaden.
I had someone coming in today to talk about getting their art in my gallery.
Wow, that sounded sexual.
“Ms. Peretta?” I looked up to see a guy with short white blonde hair in front of me.
“Are you…” I glanced down at the calendar on my desk. “Gerard Way?”
“That’s me.” He smiled down at me and I just nodded.
I still can’t smile.
It’s like the muscles in my face are dead and they just won’t move.
So he showed me a few of his pieces and we worked out an opening date.
“Let me just call my friend so he can come pick me up.” Gerard had a quick whispered phone call before coming back to my desk.
“I love this one.” I said, picking up one of his pieces, entitled Brooklyn. It was an almost stylized view of Brooklyn under a full moon.
“Keep it.” He smiled. I managed to twitch my lips in a mockery of a smile.
“Thank you.”
“Mr. Way, I think your ride is here.” Charlie, the girl who works with me, poked her head in the door.
And who walks into my gallery to pick him up but Frank.
I nearly choked on the tea I’d just taken a sip of when I saw him.
The two of them just blinked at me as I tried to get a hold of myself. I brushed my hair out of my eyes and I saw Frank’s eyes follow my hand.
I flushed a deep red and looked down into my lap.
“It’s nice to see you again.” Frank said softly. I looked up and he’d moved so he was leaning against the edge of the desk.
“I haven’t gone anywhere.” I said without thinking. Why the hell am I even playing along?
“That’s true.” There was a heat in his eyes I didn’t understand. “Shall I apologize?” He leaned close enough that I could smell what soap he used.
“Stop smoking.” I could smell the cigarette smoke too. “My husband passed from lung cancer.”
“No promises.” He chucked me under the chin gently and walked out, Gerard in tow.
Leaving me hyperventilating under the desk.
“Jaden?” Charlie came in. “Dude, I am not in the mood to play hide and seek.” She spotted me under the desk, nearly in the fetal position. “Holy shit, are you okay?”
“Yeah, just a little freaked.” I climbed out from under my desk.
“Do I need to call the cops?”
“Not that kind of freaked, but thanks love.” I rubbed my face with one hand. “What the hell is wrong with me?”
“I’ll go make a pot of tea.” Charlie’s just about the only friend I have left. I pushed everyone away after Danny passed.
The only one who stayed was Charlie. She started helping at the gallery and I hired her just so I would stop feeling so guilty about her working with me and not getting paid.
“Okay, so spill.” Charlie came back with a pot of tea and a box of tissues.
“You know that guy that came in here?”
“Dark and pierced or blonde and sexy?”
“Dark and pierced. His name’s Frank and he lives across the hall from me.” I told her about my whole fainting debacle and then the little explosion I had when he brought me food. “And every time I see him I get this weird squeezing in my stomach.”
“Hun, you have a crush on him.” Charlie squeezed my shoulder. “It’s normal when you meet a guy that good-looking.”
“My husband just died. What the hell is wrong with me that I’m crushing on the first guy I meet?” I buried my face in my hands. “I’m a horrible person.”
“Jadey, it’s been a year. Don’t you think you should at least think about moving on?” When she saw the tears pouring out of my eyes she backpedaled. “Okay, maybe not right now. But that guy’s got a serious thing for you.”
“I’m gonna go home. Can you handle everything here?”
“I’ve got it Jadey. Go home and sleep a little.” She gave me a hug and I headed home.
The best part about my apartment is that it’s literally two blocks away from my gallery. I got home, turned on the TV because I can’t stand the quiet and went to look for something to eat in my kitchen.
“Canned soup it is.” I mumbled to myself. Talking to myself is a habit I’ve picked up in the last few months. It keeps me company I guess.
I miss Danny.
I miss the way his eyes would crinkle up when he smiled.
I miss when he would teach me a phrase in Korean so I could speak it with him.
I miss not waking up in a bed alone.
I miss feeling his breath on my cheek.
I sank down to the floor and started to cry.
Why did you leave me Danny?