Let The Walls Break Down

-July 7, 2010-

--Holly--

We were in San Francisco for the first night of their new tour and I was hanging out with Joel and Ryan from This Century and Austin Gibbs. They were pretty cool and Joel and I had a lot in common. And he kind of looked like John in some aspects… Soon Austin had to leave to play his set and John and Jared came and sat with us. “Where’s Kennedy?” I asked.

“He’s playing guitar for Austin, along with Alex.” Soon after, The Maine was up and This Century came backstage. Before John went on, he took off his shirt and I knew this wouldn’t end well. He used to not know how beautiful he is, but now he’s well informed and decided to embrace it by singing shirtless.

A few weeks passed after that and John still hadn’t taken a drink since I left him. I was really proud of him and it made me realize how he’d do anything to make me happy. I wanted to marry him now more than ever. One night after they had finished their set and signing autographs, John and I sat on the couch on the bus and I leaned into him; his arm around me.

“John…”

“Holly…”

“When are we going to get married?”

He looked down at me and smiled ceaselessly. “When do you want to?”

“Definitely next April. I’ve always wanted to get married in April.”

“Any specific reason?”

I shook my head. “And besides, you have a tour next May, right?” He nodded. “Well the first time you step on that stage, you’ll be a married man.”

“Well why can’t we get married in September or October this year? We have another tour planned starting in November.”

“Because that’s way too soon. I can’t plan everything from now until then! Besides, you’ll be way too stressed, what with a tour ending, press, and another tour starting.”

He kissed the side of my head and pulled me closer. “April it is.” He pulled out his phone and looked at the calendar. “April 9th? It’s a Saturday. Does that sound good?”

“It sounds perfect.” I wrapped my arm around his now-clothed torso and fell asleep.

****

Tour ended and I was back in Tempe. Maria and I just started our final year of college and since my online courses are linked to ASU as well, I’d be able to walk with the other graduates in May. Maria was never here anymore because she was at Eric’s house. I think she’s planning on moving in with him. Today, The Maine had an interview with some online blog and they wanted me to tag along. We got there and this 19 year old looking girl with raccoon stripes in her bleach blonde hair and a lip piercing sat in the chair across from this large couch we were occupying.

“Hey guys, I’m Sam and I’ll be interviewing you guys today.” She started off asking each one a question about their newest CD or playing live or whatever, then she asked each of them a question about their personal lives. “John, where do you see yourself in a year?”

He immediately looked at me and started smiling, then laughed his adorable laugh. “Definitely married to Holly. And if we’re lucky enough, expecting a little bundle of joy.” He paused, thinking about it, and then continued. “Oh, and hopefully we’ll at least be working on a new album, if not already released.”

“It looks like someone’s in love. How long have you two been together?”

“The summer of 2008. And we’ve been engaged since Christmas ’08.”

She looked disappointed and I tried not to chuckle. “Wow, so when do you guys plan to tie the knot?”

“We’re planning on April ’11.”

I don’t know why, but I was incredibly moved by what John was saying. As this girl interviewed the others, I rubbed John’s hand and kissed him quickly. “What was that for?” he asked quietly.

“I just felt like it.” He kissed me again then kissed my cheek and whispered he loved me.

-October 22, 2010-

I woke up to John, Maria, Eric, Joel, and the rest of The Maine screaming and jumping on the bed. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOLLY!”

“Oh my gosh, you guys. You are so crazy!” I threw off the covers and Pickles was going crazy and started jumping on me. “You’re going to get us evicted.”

I guess I slept until 11 because there was already some food, probably delivered, in the kitchen. The eight of them stayed there until about 2 o’clock, then we went over to my parents’. After visiting with them, John took me out to dinner at around 8, and it was a nice restaurant.

“Are you going on tour with us this time?” John asked and took a drink of his tea.

I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I need to focus on my schoolwork, and let’s face it, you are just too darn distracting.”

He looked sad, then he ordered a bottle of wine from the waiter. “I’ve never had wine before. So it’ll be a night of firsts for us.”

“I keep forgetting I’m 21. I can actually drink now.”

“It’s not as amazing as everyone puts off.” He poured some in my glass.

“Then why were you so enamored with it?”

He sat there for a minute. “I’m not sure. I guess I was drinking to make people think I was cool. I started drinking before I went on stage to calm my nerves, but I just turned into a drunken mess. Then you told me that drinking wasn’t attractive and you left me, and I realized it wasn’t worth it anymore.”

“You were cool before you started drinking." I paused. "You can drink when you go on stage; just don’t bring your work home with you.”

“You really mean that?”

I nodded. “As long as you’re not totally hammered and can comprehend what’s happening around you. Because being a mess is a total turn off.”

“That means a lot coming from you.”

The night went on and I progressively had more and more to drink and of course, I became the mess. John had to carry me from the car to the apartment because I was so tipsy. He laid me down on the bed and I pulled him close to me.

“John, I love you. Come on, we’re going to be late for our wedding.”

“Our wedding’s not for a couple of months. Are you sure we’re going to be late?”

“No…no we’re not going to be late. John, I love you.”

“I love you too. Now you need to go to sleep.”

“Okay…John?”

“Yes, Holly.”

“I love you.”

-February 26, 2011-

Our two year engagement anniversary passed and another successful tour wrapped. I’ve planned a lot for our wedding in less than two months. I’ve picked the venue, the date, flowers, and the dress. John was off attending to band things and I felt like I was getting the flu, so I drove myself to the doctor’s office to get a vaccine.

“Hello, Holly. We’re going to give you your vaccine, but first we’re going to take some blood to check how things are going.” I nodded and he drew my blood and I sat on the bed-like thing. I waited about 30 minutes until he finally came back in. “Alright, now here’s the vaccine…” He quickly shot it into my arm and checked his clipboard again and sat at his little doctor’s chair. “No sign of diabetes or cancer cells, good.” He clicked his pen and smiled at me. “And you’re about 4 weeks along.”

“Wait, what?”

“You’re pregnant, congratulations.” He smiled and walked out and I thought about the last time I was in here, I was told that I wasn’t pregnant, and now I am. Holy shit…

I got home and went into the bathroom, just looking at myself. I didn’t see that glow that mothers always talk about having. I turned to the side and lifted up my shirt and saw a little pudge in my abdomen. There’s a little baby in there… I didn’t hear John come in the front door and he found me in the bathroom, rubbing my stomach.

“Hey, babe.” He came over to me and kissed me and when we broke apart, my hand was still on my stomach and he looked down. “Are you feeling okay? Does your stomach hurt? Did you go get your vaccine?”

I laughed at his concerned questions. “I’m fine. My stomach feels fine, and yes I got my vaccine.”

“Then why are you rubbing your stomach like that? Are you hungry?”

“No.” I grabbed his hand and put it on my stomach and he was confused at first. “I’m pregnant, John.”

“Are you sure?” His breathing increased slightly and his hand was still on my stomach.

“Doctor said so.” He looked down at his hand and knelt to the ground and used both hands to caress my abdomen. “That isn’t creepy at all.” I laughed and he kissed my stomach lightly.

“I’m going to be a dad, Holly.”

“You’re going to be a great dad, John.”

“You’re going to be an even better mom.”

“Don’t lie to me.” I smiled and he stood up and hugged me.

“I can’t wait for this.”

“John…this means we can’t get married in April. I really don’t want a shotgun wedding.”

“It wouldn’t be a shotgun wedding, because we were going to get married in April anyways. But if you want to wait, that’s fine. We’ll do whatever makes you happy.”

I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest. “Are you ready to go tell Mommy and Daddy?”

“Mine or yours?”

“Both.”

He took a deep breath and held my hand. “Let’s do it.”