Let The Walls Break Down

Kennedy and I called off the rest of the interview and rushed to the hospital to see my mom and Holly’s mom, Tina, waiting for me. “Where the hell have you been?” My mom said.

“I was doing an interview.”

“And with Holly’s due date around the corner, you didn’t once think that all these texts were about that?” I ignored her and Tina took me to the room she had been set up in for the past hour.

I walked in the room and she looked like she was in indescribable pain and I knelt beside her and held her hand. “I’m here now, it’s okay.”

She was shaking. “W-where’s H-holden?”

“My dad is with him right now.” She squeezed my hand and looking into her eyes I saw that she was truly happy. But this was the moment of truth: was she mine or Rian’s?

-Flashback-

Pat invited Holly to be our merch person and she was going to arrive any minute. We were all hanging around his house to see her since it had been about seven years since we’ve all seen her. I used to like her. A lot. But I was 13 and juvenile. And she probably turned out all weird now. But it wouldn’t hurt to try to be friends and make up for all the times I’d made fun of her. She walked in the door and I was hanging back in the kitchen while everyone else greeted her and she finally entered the room and gradually looked at everyone. Then her eyes locked on mine for a split second and that was it for me…I felt like fainting and looked away as she turned slightly red.

We ate dinner and the whole time I kept looking at her and thinking how beautiful she had turned out to be. I mean, did anyone else think she was as gorgeous as I thought, or was it just me? I wanted to talk to her so badly. Jared nudged me when he saw that I was done eating. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” I got up after him and we went outside and I put my hands in my pants pockets. “Are you okay, dude? You haven’t said anything all night.”

“It’s Holly, man…”

“You still like her?”

“No…well at least I haven’t liked her the whole time…it’s just that when I saw her and realized I was going to spend the summer with her, I started thinking this could be more than a friendship.”

“She’ll be gone by the end of summer. Is that why you want to get involved?”

“No, man. You know I’m not the type for summer flings. I think we could have something here.”

“You haven’t said a word to her the entire time she’s been here. How could you possibly know?”

I shrugged. “Intuition, maybe.”

I walked inside and Holly was helping Lisa with the dishes and I joined her to get her to notice me. I was so nervous and I don’t know why. I smiled at her and she smiled back. “How was your flight?” I asked.

“Oh, you know, flighty. I was in the air for a good amount of it.”

I saw that we were almost done with the dishes but I wanted to talk to her and set things straight without Lisa hovering over us. I shoved her shoulder slightly and said, “Do you want to take a walk?”

Lisa pushed her towards me and I smiled and she said, “Sure.”

"So, I hear you had a pretty big crush on me,” I said as we were walking down the street.

"Uh, yeah, when I was like, 11."

"Seven years isn't that long of a time ago."

"I stopped liking you because you were so mean and made fun of me." We crossed the street to go to the neighborhood pool. I felt like putting my arm around her or something.

I laughed. "Yeah, I guess I had a pretty big crush on you too."

"You did? You have a terrible way of showing it. Why didn't you tell me good bye?" We sat at the edge of the pool, putting our feet in the water and pushing away the leaves and dead bugs that were attracted to our legs. She seemed so different than what I remembered, but that only attracted me more.

"Because you were leaving. If I said bye to you, then that was basically me saying that I was okay with you leaving. And at the time I wasn't."

She looked at me for the longest time, as if she were studying my face, and started smiling. "I can't believe I liked you. You had this oversized nose and Jay Leno chin."

I looked at her and said, "I can't believe I liked you with your flat chest and braces!"

"I was 11! Eleven-year-olds don't develop yet! And I have perfect teeth now." She showed me her teeth with a gigantic smile.

"Whatever." I kept looking at her with quick glances, studying her. "Well, I guess you turned out alright." I smiled.

"Yeah, I guess you turned out alright, too," she said and shoved me. I shoved her back and she pushed me in the water. She tried to escape, but I pulled her in and dunked her head in the water. It was then that my thought of being with her turned into forever.

-Present Moment-

Two hours after I arrived, the nurse finally came in and gave Holly her epidural shot and she stopped squeezing my hand so hard. Until it was time to push. Another three hours after the epidural, the doctor walked in with the nurse and it was time. She held onto my hand like there was no tomorrow and I’m sure it was turning purple but I didn’t let her know that it bothered me; I wanted to reassure her as much as possible. A few moments later, Jenna came out and Holly laid back, exhausted and started crying as I kissed her. The nurse handed her the cleaned off baby girl and as soon as she laid eyes on her, she looked up at me and burst into bigger tears and nodded. “She’s absolutely yours.” She handed her off to me and I saw the same thing as her. Of course she looked like Holly, but you could tell that there was no resemblance between Jenna and Rian. I let out a sigh of relief and kissed her forehead and handed her back to Holly as Tina took a picture of the three of us. Now I was absolutely certain that nothing was going to stand in mine or Holly’s way of being the best friends, lovers and parents we could be.

Jenna Riley O’Callaghan
June 28, 2013 8:36 pm

“John…” Holly said quietly.

“Yeah?” I was sitting in the chair next to her and holding Jenna as she slept.

“I’m so happy right now.”

“I’m happy too, babe.”

“But I’m extra happy because we don’t have to worry about Rian anymore.” She stuck out her hand for me to grab and I caressed the back of her hand with my thumb.

“I told you we’d get through this.”

“That being said…” she started and I looked up at her. “I want to invite him to the wedding.”

“You…want to invite him to the wedding…” She nodded and I took out my phone and decided to be the bigger man. I took a picture of Jenna and sent it to Rian. I wasn’t trying to rub it in his face, I just wanted to let him see for himself whose child it really is.

‘Congratulations, John and Holly! She looks exactly like you, John.’ He sent a minute later.

“What did you do?” She asked.

“Making amends.”

“Did you send Rian a picture of her?”

“I did.” Jenna woke up then but didn’t start crying and reached out for my thumb to play with it. “She’s so tiny.”

A few minutes passed and she spoke again. “I want to invite Kara too.”

“Why are you digging yourself into a hole?” I asked, getting annoyed.

“Because Kara and I used to be really good friends until Rian messed that up. And I promised Rian I’d invite him to the wedding. It’s a way of saying that there are no more hard feelings.”

I sighed. “Fine. Who else do you want to invite?”

She sat up in the little bed. “Well, the rest of All Time Low of course. This Century, Austin Gibbs obviously…” Her smile went away and it seemed as though her list of people to invite had vanished. “I haven’t spoken to so many people in so long, it’d be weird to invite them.”

“Well, you’re going to invite Eric and the rest of them. He’s my best friend, even if Maria and him have hard feelings. And Kennedy, Jared, Garrett and Pat. Why not invite Lisa and Hanna?”

“That’s what I’m talking about. I just realized I barely have any friends anymore.”

“Well we don’t need a huge wedding anyway. Just invite those previously mentioned and our families. That should be more than enough.”

She started to smile again but her eyes were still pained and she laid back down. But nothing could ruin this day, especially Rian.

****

--Holly--

We came back home today and Jenna’s stuff was already ready to go and she fell asleep as soon as I put her in the crib. Holden was so excited. “Momma!” I heard from out in the hallway. I went to him and he was grabbing for me like he wanted to be picked up.

“What is it, buddy?”

“Daddy told me not to tell you.”

I just stared at that kid. Okay. I was still a little sore from the other day so I set Holden down and went to go lie down in bed but Holden just climbed up with me and went to sleep. John came in a moment later and stopped in his tracks once he saw he was in his spot. “You’ve been replaced,” I said and smiled.

“Oh okay.” He got behind me and put his arm around me and kissed my shoulder.

“So, Holden told me something today.”

“What did he tell you?”

“That you told him not to tell me something.”

“Well I was trying to keep it a secret but Holden just came into the room and saw something and I told him it was very important that he not tell you.”

“Now I’m excited. Did you get me something?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too.” He kissed my cheek and we fell asleep.

It was now Holden’s second birthday and Jenna was already almost three months old. Time passed by so fast. The usual people were here but this time, All Time Low was here. And Kara was too. I set out the cake and John took Jenna out of my hands so I could do it with less difficulty and Kara walked over to me with a smile and it reminded me of the day I met her and how nice she was. “Hi, Holly. It’s been forever.” She hugged me and I hugged back without protest because it felt nice to rekindle a broken friendship. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been excellent. How have you been?”

“I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Rian and I got back together. I’m sorry things didn’t work out between the two of you.”

“Oh, don’t be sorry. We tried and it just didn’t work out. John’s my someone and hopefully Rian is your someone.” She smiled and looked back at Rian.

“Yeah, I really love him and I can see that you and John love each other. And your kids are so adorable!” We looked over at John who was tossing Jenna up in the air and Holden was playing around on the ground with his trucks. She suddenly looked back at me. “Can I tell you something?” I nodded and she continued. “Don’t tell Rian, but I’m expecting a child.”

“No way! When are you due?” I quieted down my tone when I asked her.

“Late May. I found out last weekend.”

“I’m happy for you guys!” I looked over at Rian who was drinking a beer and talking to Alex, looking happier than I ever saw him when we were together. “He looks really happy with you.” She smiled and hugged me again and she migrated over towards her boo and Zack walked over to me and gave me a giant bear hug.

“Hollyyyyyyyy! I missed you!” There was something about Zack that just made me feel safe. Like he was my protective brother or best friend or something. Holden ran over to us and yelled his name repeatedly.

“Zack!” He reached up for him and Zack picked him up and put him on his shoulders.

“Hey, kid. Happy birthday!” They went away then and the rest of the party continued on.

By the end of October, I once again had everything planned out. The dress that I once picked out now served as bad luck, so I had a new dress. We decided to book the venue at the Marquee Theater in Tempe (hey, why not get married on stage?) and the invitations were sent out mid-November. It was now almost Christmas; almost time to get married and now nothing was standing in mine and John’s way of doing it this time. My mom came by and got the kids earlier this afternoon and John and I were lying in bed.

“Hey guess what,” John whispered and stroked my arm.

“Chicken butt.”

“Close. We’ll be married in less than a week.”

“I can’t believe it’s finally time. We’ve been engaged for like 5 years now.”

He kissed me then Kennedy nearly bust down the door. “It’s time to go, John. Oh, Holly, your guests have arrived.” We all went downstairs together and Maria, Kara, Alex’s ex-girlfriend Lisa and some of my cousins were in the living room for my bachelorette party.

John was putting on his leather jacket and I kissed him before he walked out. “No strippers!”

“You’re such a party pooper Holly!” Jared yelled back.

I walked back in the house and Maria got out a cake pan that was in the shape of a penis. “Penis cake time!”

“What, did you guys raid Spencer’s or something?”

“Maybe…”

We went in the kitchen to make the vanilla-flavored cake and when it was ready to be frosted, Kara pulled pink icing and brown sprinkles out of the Wal-Mart bag and the doorbell rang. “Who the hell could that be?” Lisa and Kara looked at each other suspiciously and we all went to the door together, in case it was a burglar or something, but when I answered it, John was standing there in a Reno 9-1-1 cop uniform (you know, with the tiny ass shorts), a fake mustache and aviators.

“I got a call that you ladies were disturbing the peace around here.” He came in and made me sit down on a chair in the living room and he started stripping in front of me and Maria was videotaping the whole thing. You’d think it was really awkward, your fiancé stripping in front of you and all your friends and family, but it wasn’t. I had a genuine good time. When he was down to his British flag speedo, he stopped and took his mustache and sunglasses off and I kissed him.

“Don’t kiss the stripper!” Lisa yelled and threw dollars at him.

I laughed and apologized and John started picking up all the money seductively, and let me tell you something, he was getting their money’s worth. He ran out into the cold in his speedo and yelled, “I LOVE YOU HOLLY!” before Kara shut the door.

****

It was Christmas Eve and Jared just came by and picked John up because “I wasn’t supposed to see the groom before the wedding…” blah, blah, blah. Holden and Jenna were at Jen’s house this time and Maria arrived a minute later to keep an eye on me.

“Just think, Holly. Tomorrow, you’ll be known as Holly Nicole O’Callaghan.”