I Ain't Waiting For The World To Change

We had left New York and were on the road again. I had made sure Lisa would get home safe and then it was just us and the bus again.

„Can we talk?“ I asked Johnny and he nodded. „Alone?“ I concreted. As every evening the other were in the sitting area and I took Johnny's hand and pulled him towards the few seats, which were right behind the driver.

„What do you want to talk about?“ Johnny asked and turned towards me.

„'bout us,“ I said and noticed that his body tensed. „I mean it's ... I'm telling you the way it is ... If this thing between us turns out into something real, I don't want anybody to know. I don't mean the guys and their girls, but I don't want the fans to know.“ I said and faced him.

“And why is that?” he asked. That he asked and not only agreed showed that he cared and the uncomfortable pull in my stomach region slowly began to disappear.

“I don't want them to see me as the girl who got into the band to hook oneself a rock star, you know? I want us to be Johnny and Kim and not the bassist and the drummer,” I said and looked right into his brown eyes.

“What if I would ask you one day that I would love to introduce you to my family ... as my girlfriend?” he asked and eyed me carefully.

“That's not the point. I'm talking about the fans, the people who don't know us. I just thought that we should be careful when we're outside, not when we're around our family,” I said and made a move with my arms. I heard a low 'aw' and was pretty sure that someone who should sit not so far away from us was ears dropping.

“It's ...” Johnny began but was interrupted by loud barking that wouldn't shut up. “What the fuck?” I thought I heard him say as he rose and walked towards the noises. I followed him and saw Pinkly and Peanut who were fighting.

Pinkly was attacking the rude and as Johnny was still watching the spectacle I stepped in and took Peanut on my arms. “What's up here?” Brian asked and watched his dog, who was barking at my feet while she was watching the frightened dog.

“They got into a little fight, I think,” I said and patted the dog, so he would calm down.

“Jesus Christ, can anybody stop the fuckin' noise?” someone yelled.

“Calm down, Pinkly,” Syn said but the dog wouldn't listen. I had to admit Peanut was way easier to take care of – and Nap anyway!

“What about that: I wanted to go to bed anyway and I take Peanut with me. Pinkly can stay on this floor.”

“Why do you take my dog?” asked Johnny while Syn complained that his dog had to stay here.

“As you're sleeping with Michelle in your bunk I doubted you wanted to share more space. And to answer your question,” I turned towards Johnny, “as my bunk is the bottom bunk I thought it would make more sense than letting him sleeping in yours which is way higher.”

“Maybe you're right,” I thought they both mumbled – I wasn't quite sure as the barking still filled the room. “I'm going to change,” I said and walked up the stairs. I pulled back the curtain and put the dog on the mattress. I walked back and closed the door before I took my sleeping wear and began to undress me. While I just had put on my pants I heard that someone opened the door. I didn't turn around and pulled on a top and pulled down the right strap.

Someone put his hands around my waist and I didn't have to look down to know that I would see two locked hands which said 'beer' and 'wine'. Someday I had to ask him why he got that tattoos but I was pretty sure I would get a 'why not' answer. He put down his head on my left shoulder and I could feel his hot breath on my neck.

I lay back against his body and covered his arms with mine.

“I wish we could have some one-on-one time,” he whispered near my ear.

“To do what?” I asked seductive. At this time we heard the other ones laughing out loud and heard someone walking up the stairs.

“To escape them,” he sighed and released me. I sighed also and bent forward to grab my wash bag.

“Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt something I just need my charger,” Gena said, who had stepped in.

“You didn't interrupt anything,” I assured her.

“Yeah, you didn't,” I heard Johnny say and when I turned around I saw him sitting on my bed patting his dog's head. I walked downstairs towards the bathroom and got ready for the night.

When I entered the bunk area again Johnny was still sitting on my place.

I tucked my things and sat next to him. “Have you been waiting here for me to wish me a good night?” I smiled at him.

“Kind of,” he said and pulled me towards him until our lips met and he kissed me roughly. After our lips have parted it took me some time to catch my breath. “Good night,” he whispered and kissed me quickly before he got up and left the room.

“Think I'll,” I said and got under my blanked and waited till Peanut found the right place for himself. I fondled his fur until I fell asleep.

-x-

I woke up because I felt hot sticky breath. “Gosh, Peanut, I need to get you a toothbrush,” I said and had the dry heaves. I pulled the curtain back and screamed. It took me two seconds to shut up 'cause I realized it was just Gena's arm from Zacky's bunk above me.

“Shut the fuck up,” somebody murmured and I got up. Today was the last day for the girls. After our show tonight they'd travel back. “Are you hungry or do you need to pee?” I asked the dog and got up – Peanut at my side. We walked down and I decided to visit the bathroom quick, before I would take care of the dog. While I was inside I could hear the two dogs fighting. I hurried up and got outside just to see Peanut hiding behind the counter.

“What happened between the two of you?” I asked annoyed and tried to get Pinkly out of my way, but the lady dog snapped. “Beast,” I murmured while I saw a tired Michelle walking towards me. She lifted her dog and at that moment she shut up.

“What's up with her?” I asked and got down on my knees to get Peanut out of his hiding spot.

“I don't know,” Michelle said and petted the dog.

“Come out, Peanut, I swear nothing will happen to you,” I tried to lure him. “'Chelle would you get Johnny for me?” I asked.

“Sure, I doubt that anyone is sleeping anymore,” she said and disappeared. A moment after I heard some footsteps and most of the family were in the tiny kitchen and in the corridor as we only had a small place.

“Peanut's up in the corner and I may be wrong but I think he's injured,” I answered before they could ask me a question. As I had spoken my last words Johnny shoved me away and tried to get his dog out of the hole.

“Think we have to get the whole kitchen out of the way,” he said after some minutes without success.

“And how are we supposed to do this? We're on the road, short shit. And we don't have any tools here,” Matt said and I shoot daggers at him for using the nickname they had given him a long time ago.

“Wait,” I said and opened a cupboard to get the kibble and shook the box. “What's...” Matt started but shut up after I gave him an evil glare. I put some on my hand and got back on my stomach. I put the hand with the food in the gap and called for the little dog. “Just a step forward so I can grab you, Peanut,” I begged. I heard a whimper and then I felt some fur on my hand. I pulled my hand some inches back and waited till I felt the fur again before I stretched my arm again and grabbed the dog. I heard him whimper again and I felt, bad but we had to check on him. As soon as I got him out of it Johnny took care of him.

-x-

Let me tell you the days after that weren’t fun at all. Gena, Michelle and Val were back home and Michelle had to take Pinkly with her. She had bitten Peanut and we had decided it would be the best to separate them. Brian was pissed that his dog had to go, but what else should we do? Pinkly had Michelle at home, Peanut would have to stay at Johnny's parents. And he was injured the journey would be too stressful for him. Finally the mood lightened up a bit.

Don't get me wrong I love the girls, but I have to admit I was glad that they were gone. I mean it was just a bus and eight people were too much for the small room!

“That's just not fair,” Zacky complained as he saw me peeking Johnny's lips before we left the bus.

“Why is life so bad to you, Zee?” I ran after him and jumped on his back. I was glad that he caught my legs so I didn't end up on the floor.

“'cause Johnny was smart and picked the girl of the band. So he doesn't have to miss his girl,” he said quietly.

“Aw poor Zacky,” I said in a baby voice and poked his cheek like you do with little kids. “Fuck your life,” I said and he let go of me, but he chuckled. I walked on my own towards the big hall where we would play tonight.

It was a great show and we were full of adrenalin after that. My shoulder was getting better and I didn't have much pain anymore. We walked out of the hall and saw some fans standing around the bus. I put on a smile and we walked towards them signing their shirts, posters and posed for pictures. I took some glances at the guys they were having fun and talked with the fans like they were their old friends.

I was signing a shirt for a young girl when I heard someone scream my name. I looked up and found the eyes of a guy about my age. “Give me a chance and I make you scream tonight,” he said. I shook my head lightly while I laughed. Matt was right at my side and I knew he was watching for some trouble.

“Dream on,” I muttered and the girl in front of me chuckled. She asked for a picture with me and Matt and I did her the favor. I could see Johnny walking towards the bus and we others changed a glance but shrugged our shoulders. We signed up some more things and decided to also go to the bus. We walked inside and let us down at the sitting area. It was kind of tradition for us to meet here after a gig, but Johnny wasn't seen.

“What's up with him?” I asked but the others shrugged. “I'll check on him,” I said and walked upstairs.

“Johnny?” I asked while I stumbled into the black room and closed the door behind me. I put my hand on the beds next to me to find my way towards his bunk. I felt that his curtain was closed. “Are you okay?” I asked and heard him mumble – I assumed he was speaking in his pillow.

“Oh come on and talk to me if something is bothering you or at least don't mumble in your pillow when I should leave,” I said and pulled the curtain back.

“What would you say, if somebody hit on your girl and you can't say he should fuck off himself?”

“Except from the fact that I don't have a girl,” I said and saw him rolling with his eyes. “I don't know, what do you want to hear?” I asked.

“Absolutely nothing,” he said and put his head back into his pillow.

“You know what Johnny? I have to see all these girls who are drooling over you every day. They throw their underwear on the stage and everything but you know why I don't make a fuss? Because you don't hit on them. Sure it's no fun to see that but I don't act like a child,” I said and left the room.

“What's up with him?” Matt asked as soon as I sat next to them.

“Johnny took the girl part and went into a huff,” I said and Brian spilled his bear all over the table while he laughed his ass off.

“Clean that yourself,” I said and took Matt's beer and took a huge sip.

“So, why did he go into a huff?” Matt asked and grabbed his beer again.

“'cause of the comment from that guy outside,” I answered and rolled my eyes.

“Well I wouldn't like someone hitting on my wife either,” Zacky confessed.

“But his reaction was kind of strong,” Brian admitted. “I mean nobody should know the two of them are dating and he puts on such a show. If it stays this way I give the two of you two weeks till the whole fan base knows.”

“If he stays this way I won't give us two weeks,” I mumbled. “I reacted this way when I was eleven and didn't get the drum kit I wanted for Christmas,” I said and the guys started to laugh again. “What's so funny?” I asked confused.

“Never mind,” Matt finally said.

“Okay,” I shrugged. “Oh and I forgot to tell you. As we're free at the end of October I thought I would head home.”

“No, you can't miss my Halloween party. I'm infamous for my parties and it's also Gena's birthday,” it burst out of Zacky.

“Don't worry, Zee. I'll be back for Halloween. I also ordered my costume,” I smirked.

“Good. As whom you'll go?” He asked curious.

“I won't tell you,” I said. “I considered if I go there straight from tour but I want to grab Nap first. I really miss him,” I admit.

“I was wondering... as you're our baker,” he chuckled over his own little joke, “could you do something creepy?” He asked.

“Sure,” I shrugged. “I think I have the perfect thing for you. I made it every Halloween but when Cassie was born they put a ban on my cake as it was too scary. It was great and I swear you guys will love it,” I said with a big smile on my face. “It's a skull cake and when you cut the cake there's red food coloring inside so it looks like it's bleeding. Oh wait I have a picture on my phone,” I said and searched for the picture. I don't know what it is but I get super excited when it comes to Halloween. Actually I tried to dress really scary but this year... Let me tell you I saw the perfect costume. I love Tim Burton movies and I have seen Alice in Wonderland so many time that I couldn't count it anymore. I was searching for a costume as I saw the red dress Alice was wearing when she was as big as a house. I had to buy it, this dress is really cool! So I was going as Alice but I thought I would get some fake injuries to look a little bit creepy.

“Oh my gosh I want this fucking cake,” Zacky said and was all of a tizzy. “This will be the best fuckin' Halloween cake ever.”

“Calm the fuck down man, it's just a cake,” Matt said irritated.

“But...,” Zacky responded something but I paid attention to the dog on the floor. I lifted him up and put him on my lap as I started to crawl him. “Yeah, we'll be home soon. You miss your buddy, don’t you? I'll miss him also,” I talked to the puppy and cuddled him.

“He's just a dog, you know that, right?” Matt asked.

“Oh don't think I'm stupid, Shadz. I know you're talking to Bella also,” I said.

“I'm heading to bed, guys,” Syn said and stood up. “Yeah, I'm calling Gena and then I'm also in my bunk. Night, guys,” Zacky said and followed Brian.

“So you wanna call Val also?” I asked Matt.

“No she went to bed already, has something to do early in the morning. But maybe you should talk to Johnny?” he suggested.

“Why should I talk to Mr. Grumpy-Pants? I mean I didn't do anything why should I be the one who comes to him – again?”

“He isn't used to this. I mean I can understand him...”

I interrupted him. “It's not that I can't understand his point but I didn't do anything wrong. Why is he like that to me? That's what I don't understand.”

“Well maybe you should give you two some time, hotspur,” he shrugged his shoulders.

“I'm also going to bed, night Matt,” I said and followed the guys before he could deepen the conversation. I did my business in the bath and changed before I walked towards my bunk and threw my bag in the corner. I lay down in my bed and closed the curtain.

I stared at the ceiling when I saw a movement and turned my head just to see somebody's head next to mine. “What do you want?” I asked annoyed.

“Let me talk to you,” he said and tried to lay down beside me so I had to move aside. “I'm sorry for acting like this, but I say stupid things when I'm angry and I didn't want to say something to you I would regret later,” he admitted in a low voice.

“So it's better to be grumpy and be on your own than talking 'bout it for five minutes and have fun with your friends?” I asked in the same volume.

“I said I'm sorry. I'm okay now,” he said and I felt his hot breath on my face which meant he was nearer then a moment ago.

“Fine,” I finally said and then his lips were between my mouth and my nose until he found his way in the dark to my mouth. It turned out into a little make out session and when I tried to get on top of him to get more comfy I forgot that we were only in a small bunk. I hit my head and cursed. The laughing around us reminded me that we weren't alone here and the mood was gone.

“Think I'll sleep right now,” I said pissed and laid my head on Johnny's chest. “You have the honor of being my pillow tonight,” I brought it ford. He put an arm around my torso and kissed my head. “Sleep well,” he whispered and it didn't take long for me to fall asleep.