I Ain't Waiting For The World To Change

Actually I was standing on the terrace of Zacky’s house, had a lot of silvery foil in my hair, Gena beside me and a cigarette in my hand. We watched the dogs which were running in the garden. Soon Gena had her camera in her hand (I would swear it was glued on her palm) and she took some pictures of us. Actually we looked really dumb, made faces and posed with my ‘beautiful’ hair jewelry and our fags.

“So, you know how the boys will allure Johnny at Val’s place?”
“They didn’t tell me, but Zacky was pissed that I didn’t want to tell him ‘bout our present. I mean we should be pissed, especially you after it was Zacky who told Johnny they should stalk you,” she sputtered.

“What do you mean?” I asked interested and inhaled the nicotine.
“So, after you have left for your date, Zacky came up with the topic. And he talked lots of shit, what would be if your date was a raper, serial killer or something like that. So Johnny was so worried that they look after you.” I was shocked and as she saw my expression she added an “Ow, I shouldn’t let that drop.”

“No, it’s cool. Actually I know what happened.” She wanted to drop that subject and I was eager too. “So, today I saw Johnny. And I didn’t tell him he would get his present later, ‘cause he think he’s still with the guys. I bought a little sweater for peanut and handed it to him with a serious face.”

Gena laughed. “What did he say?”
“He just thanked me and asked me if I would like to join him. He’s with his family today, but I told him I had an appointment with my hairdresser. He just took Peanut – he really put him the sweater on and left.” I laughed. “If he really think this is everything he’ll get I’m such a bad roommate.” I draw double points in the air when I said he.

“But a good actor. So, I think the color is ready and you shouldn’t get a cold, ‘cause you’re standing here outside.” She stubbed out the cigarette and I imitated her. We had much fun and after washing my hair, she gave me a new haircut and then she did the absolute famous job with my hairdo. There was so much volume in my hair, she had to restrain it with a braid and then she pinned it up. It was so pretty and she used so much hairspray I was sure the wasps would siege me tonight.

“You’re my hero. I wish I could do something like that,” I said when I took a look in the mirror.
“But then I would be useless. I’m glad you like it. Make yourself a home, I have to do my hair now,” she said and left me alone.
“Where’s the present by the way?” I asked her, when we stood both in the bathroom.
“In my car. I couldn’t hide it here as I saw Zacky was looking at the cloth bag you gave him.”
“Men,” we groaned at the same time and laughed a little.

“Fuck, why can’t I do something like that?” My eye was full of black paint.
Gena laughed again. “What did you do, silly?”
“Hey, I’m not using make up often and I tried to do an eyeliner.” I said while removing the paint.

“Let me do it,” she said and soon she did my entire make up.
“It’s just like I hadn’t had much of girl time. I was always with Bryan and Josh. I had a female friend, but she had moved away so I started behaving like a boy,” I said while she put on some mascara on my eyes.

“Now you’ve us. We’ll have so much girl time you’ll get tired of it. But on the other side, you’re always with the guys and you live with Johnny, so you’ll need that. Put on your shoes, beautiful, we have to leave to help Val with the arrangements.”

When we arrived at the house, there was nothing to see from the outside that there will be a party, but on the inside there you’ll be sure about it. There’s a banner on the wall which said ‘Happy Birthday’ and there stood a table with liquor and food on it. There were boxes everywhere and tables on the outside.

“Seemed we’re a little late,” Gena said, who wore a short white dress. Actually she reminded me of Marilyn Monroe.
“Vaaaal, where are you?” Gena screamed and Val answered she was in the kitchen. So we walked there.
“Oh my Gosh, you need to change, we’ll take care of the rest,” I said while looking at Val who just looked stressed.

“Thanks, I’ll have twenty minutes before the first one will come.” Michelle walked through the door and soon everything was where it belonged.

About an hour later the living room was filled. There were people I knew, like Adam and Jason and Matt Berry (our Roadies), but also many unknown faces. So we were waiting for the guys to call that they’re on their way.

“Fuck, everyone be quiet. Matt had called me, but I didn’t hear anything, so I think they…”
“So, where are the harlots?” we heard Johnny scream. “Matt at your house? Didn’t Val say anything?”
“…should be here soon,” Val finished her sentence.

We saw Johnny confused in front of us, the band behind him, as Adam screamed “Surpriiiiiiise,” but it sounded pathetic as he was the only one who said it.
“Well, that’s really a surprise. I expected some hot harlots and the only one I see is you fatass like I haven’t seen you the whole day.”

“Hey,” I complained and Johnny took a look at me. He looked at me shocked.
“You’re my harlot? Way better,” he said and took some steps into my direction.
“You dope, there are no harlots. Val planned a surprise party for you short shit, so be grateful,” Matt said and Val didn’t look happy as it seemed the surprise failed.

“Think I still take her,” Birthday kid said and slung an arm around my waist.
“You won’t take Kim when you see our present. I’ll get it,” Gena said.

“Hey!” I complained again. “Stop acting like I’m a toy or something. I’ll get it, give me your keys,” I said laughing and caught the keys she were throwing at my direction. So while the others could still congratulate Johnny I walked to Gena’s car and opened the trunk and got the heavy, big present. It was in a wrapped box, so he wouldn’t know soon what it was.

“I hope you’ll gave him your presents already, ‘cause after this one they’ll seem puny. Sit down, Johnny, before you’ll collapse. This one is from Gena, Val, Michelle and me.” I said and placed the present carefully on his lap.

Eagerly he tore the gift wrap away and opened the box. It seemed as his eyes would fall off. “Is this real?” he asked and Val and the others nodded as we stood in a row in front of him.
“What is it?” Matt asked eagerly and shoved me aside as he tried to take a look at the present.

“It’s THE fucking Bass,” he just said and his eyes sparkled.
“What bass?” Syn asked and tried to look at the box.
“It’s Robert Trujillo’s bass from your tour with them,” Gena explained and their maxillary dropped.

“Signed,” Johnny added and sounded as he was already in love with the bass.
“So enough of the hokum, start the music,” Jason, who was called JB by everybody, screamed and the music filled the room but, Johnny still couldn’t avert his gaze.
“Gena, take a picture quickly, he looks so cute now, we won’t ever see that again,” I said and sat down next to Johnny and posed.

“I love you! I really, really love you, girls. Come here, I need to hug you,” he said and pulled an arm around my shoulder and waved with the other for the girls to come. So it ended up with a group hug.
“Come on Pussy, you’ll have a party right here,” Syn said and held out a beer for Johnny.
“You’re just jealous, ‘cause I steal your woman,” he retorted.

“He’s right. That’s your night, we won’t steal your time anymore and you have every time in the world to be in love with this,” I said smiling and pointed at the bass.
“Think I have,” he said and looked really happy. I saw Gena looking at me and we both smiled.

“We’ll get you a drink and then you’ll tell me everything about Colin, Missy!” Michelle said and grabbed my hand.
“Who’s Colin?” I heard one of the guys ask but then I was too far away, to hear if anyone answered it.

“So, what do you like to drink? I know I’ll mix you a Caipirinha. I make good ones, believe me,” she said and started to mix the ingredients.
“Holy shit, this is kind of strong,” I said after the first sip.

“I’m your personal barkeeper tonight,” she said and every time my glass was empty she refilled it with something new. So, when I was back with my men I was pretty drunk.
“So, you know … I have to apologize. I was such a bitch the last days,” I said while I sat down on Johnny’s lap. “I hate being a bitch and I swear when we’re on tour I’ll be the old Kay. I’m sure as hell I’ll be! No bitch anymore, ‘cause I knew you just thought it was the best for me,” I said and leaned forwards and kissed Zacky’s cheek.

“Stop rubbing on my dick, or I’ll need new pants,” Johnny said and the others laughed.
“If you say so,” I said and rose up. “So, where’s my personal slave for today? Syn have you seen your wife?”
“Thought she had promised me, she would be my slave tonight, but no I haven’t,” he said and I saw Gena rolled her eyes. She’s our DD and had to stay sober.

“Next time I’m not so stupid and be the DD,” she complained.
“Honey, next time I’ll drive you wherever you want” I said and then I heard it. “Oh my Gosh, that was Val, I looooove her!” I wasn’t sure if they could understand me. “So last girly action for a long time!” And with these words I disappeared and heard chuckles behind me and then a groaning, as they recognized the song.

“Stop this shit!” I heard someone scream. And then I saw Val and screamed for her. “Didn’t know you’ve the LP,” I told her.
“Oh yes, but it’s hidden all the time as I know Matt would ditch it, if he ever gonna find Justin.”
“Shut this thing up, this isn’t even music,” someone screamed again.

“Wait, let it play. I’m sure, we’ll get a show right now,” I heard a calmer voice. “Where’s your twin?” I asked and looked around to see Michelle. But I only saw the males in one row. It was pretty closely in the big living room by now.

“I’m here, I’m here,” I heard the person I searched for yelling and soon she stand at our side, next to the equipment. “I really wanted to hear Sexy Back,” she said and Val put on that song.
I took some steps back and waved the two women nearer. They followed me and soon we were dancing in the middle of the room. Some women followed us, but the three of us were the middle of the attention as we danced lascivious. “Someone has to record this!” I heard someone saying over the music.

“Already have, man. Already have!”
“Think they’ll regret it tomorrow,” I heard Gena saying as I shoved my ass right to Val’s hips. As soon as the song was over there was metal again.
“And I think I’ll defiantly need a cold shower!” Johnny disappeared and I laughed my ass off.
The crowd lightened and I saw Matt’s arm around my wrist. “Come here, drunken one,” he said smiling and as I looked for his wife and her sister I couldn’t see them. Matt carried me halfway to the couch and I sat down beside him and rested my head on his shoulder. “So, you’ll have a big hangover tomorrow,” he said and ruffled my hair.

“Think so,” I said dizzy. Suddenly I didn’t feel so good anymore. It was like the world began to spin. Matt seemed to notice my transition and mumbled something about finding Gena so she could bring me home.
“No, just let me go and get some fresh air, I swear I’m back in ten minutes.”
“Don’t throw up on Val’s flower bed!” He said before I was out of hearing.

“So, here’s a little drink for you,” I heard Zacky saying behind me and I made a noise like I was throwing up. I heard him laughing. “Actually it’s just some fruit juice. Trust me, it’ll work.”
I took a sip from the glass and noticed that the deckchair I was sitting on just got a bit down, as Zacky sat down next to me.
“I’m really sorry for the last days,” I said again.

“Forgive and forgot. I have to say I’m sorry, too. It wasn’t the nice way we acted.”
“Forgive and forgot,” I echoed him.
“You know, it’s just like you’re really part of our little crazy family alright. Not just the band, also the girls accepted you so fast, it’s weird. And the guy you’ll pick has to be accepted by us. You picked us, so you have to live with that.” I was taking another sip, when he said his next sentence and I almost spilled it out again. “So, I’m excited to meet Colin!”

“Maybe after tour,” I said as I didn’t know what to reply.
“Yeah, while we’re at it. You’re excited?” He changed the subject.
“Sure I am. And a bit afraid, but I think that’s normal. I’m more excited about you meeting my family at the moment. Then I’ll have a week to piss my pants ‘cause of the tour.”

“Actually I’m really excited ‘bout meeting your niece. You talk so much ‘bout her and Johnny said she was really sweet on the phone and had him make this promise.”
“What promise?”
“Something ‘bout looking after you and if you’re lonely in the night he should be there and share the bed with you, ‘cause she was too far away,” he said and chuckled.
“Yeah, really sounds like her.” He pulled out his cigarette packet and I stool one cigarette from him, took his lighter and lit it.

“You know, smoking is unhealthy,” he said and took one deep breath.
“Right one to say,” I pushed my elbow into his ribs.
“Ouch, that hurts,” he said and held dramatically his side.
“Pussy,” I just said.

“So, your ten minutes are over,” I heard Matt saying and then the cigarette was out of my hand. “God, they’re so bad influence. Don’t start smoking,” he said serious.
“That’s exactly what I told the kid,” Zacky concurred.
“Why I’m actually here, Gena is driving you home.”
“Yes, Daddy. Night, Zacky I have to go home now, it’s late,” I said in a childish voice and put a kiss on Zacky’s cheek as he pulled me into a hug.

“Sleep well, little girl,” he said. So we said goodbye to everyone and my head was way clearer when I sat next to Gena, Johnny on the back seat with his presents.
“I hope you’ll have a ton of aspirin at your home, you’ll two need it damn much. You look terrible.”

“We do, thanks, honey.”
“I’m just honest.”
“As I said, thanks.”
“Never be the DD again, it isn’t much fun being around you and being the only one who’s sober.”

“But I’m the birthday boy, I couldn’t be sober,” we heard Johnny from behind.
“You’ll never be sober again in your life,” Gena murmured and I grinned. “So we’re here. I’ll help you with your presents.”

When we were upstairs and all the presents were stored Gena said goodbye with a deep sigh as she remembered there were just a couple of people she had to drive home also. So it was just me and Johnny on the corridor. My feet hurt so much; I lift an leg and tried to get off my shoe, but couldn’t hold my balance and Johnny grabbed my arm before I could fell.

“Thanks,” I said after pulling out both of my shoes. He was really close to me so I lend forwards until our lips connected lightly and pulled away afterwards. It was just a sweet, innocent kiss, but he looked confused. “Good night, birthday boy,” I said and disappeared into my room.

Slowly I opened my eyes. And then I started sprinting, stepped over my dress which laid on my floor and headed to the bathroom and for the very first time I was glad the toilet seat was fold up. So I hugged the toilet bowl and forgot about time. I was about to go back to bed as the next wave came. I was dozing off while my head rested on the pottery.
“You’re going to sit here the whole day?” I heard Johnny say. I opened my eyes and could only see a figure in the doorway.

“Actually I don’t know if there’s anything I could throw up anymore, but I hedge one’s bets.” I said.
“So what if I need the bathroom?”
“Well search for another,” I said and put my head back on the cool ceramic. He laughed silently. But soon I couldn’t feel my legs anymore and they started to prickle as I stand on my legs again. It took me another minute, before I could walk outside.

“What about a day in bed?” Johnny greeted me with a bubbled glass in the hand.
“That would be perfect, I think,” I said and headed to my room, but Johnny grabbed my arm and shoved me into his room.
“Coffee?” he asked but I shook my head so fast I regret it immediately. The world was turning again and I made my way to the bath again, but it was false alarm.
“Hadn’t have much hangovers, have you?” Johnny asked as I sat down on his bed and let me fall.

“Not in the last year. Actually I think I had my last one when I was seventeen.”
“I’m used to it,” he left the room and came back with some toast and handed it to me. He just lit a cigarette and the smoke filled the air. I searched for the zapper and turned on the music channel while I nibbled on my bread.
“Oh my gosh that’s you,” I said excited and turned on the volume as the Seize the day video began. I really love this song it’s absolute one of my favorites!

“You have a part in the video?” I asked as I barely could see my roommate. Even Val was more seen.
“Yes, I was the driver. See there I am.”
“Oh yeah, there was some of your hair,” I said sarcastically.
“That’s a very important part,” he said.
“Yeah and you let Matt going alone into jell, good friend you’re.”

“Well, it’s just a video,” he shrugged it off. I leaned over him and took his flug. “Since when do you smoke?” he asked.
“Think I got used to as you all smoke around me.”
“It’s not good for you,” he just said and I decided not to respond.
The next video which was shown was ‘Bright Lights’ from Placebo and Johnny took the zappy and switched the channel. “Hey, I wanted to see this,” I pouted.

“Why?” he asked confused.
“’cause I like this song and the drummer is pretty hot. And shirtless,” I added and stole the zapper from him so I could watch the men while stagy groaned.
I was about dozing off, as I had to jump up and finding my way to the bath again. This is going to be an awesome day!