I Ain't Waiting For The World To Change

When I woke up I was in my room. It was hard to open my eyes; it felt like they were stuck together with glue. My throat was so dry and my head hurt that much. I rose up and decided not to turn on the lights. I was wearing the clothes I had put on the other morning after waking up. I climbed out of the bed and opened my door. Everything was dark as I walked into the kitchen. I filled a glass with water and took a sip of it while looked at the clock. It was four in the morning.

The air became thicker in the room and I just wanted to get some fresh air. I walked to the main door and took my keys from the commode, grabbed my phone which laid also there and returned to the kitchen to catch my good friend Jack. I saw Peanut and decided I could take a walk with him, realizing he couldn’t sleep any longer either. I didn’t waste time by looking into the mirror – I knew I was looking bad as I had cried the whole day.

The two of us went down the street and headed left. I wanted to walk to the beach and it took only a quarter till I would arrive. I hadn’t even bothered to take the leash but Peanut just walked by feet happily. After we had arrived at the beach I took off my shoes and sat down while the dog ran around. I licked my lips, which were totally bitten. A reason I got my labret some years ago was that I started biting my lips when I got nervous, so I could nipple on the ring instead.

I opened the bottle and took a deep sip watching the dog that was playing with the waves. I didn’t want to cry anymore but my thoughts drifted away. I always had the day in mind when Bryan asked me if I want to marry him. I actually wasn’t someone who believed in marriage, but I thought he was the love of my life. I was so fuckin’ blind! I took another sip and licked my lips again so I wouldn’t waist a drip.
Suddenly the dog walked down the beach, he seemed upset. “Peanut,” I yelled and whistled loudly. He looked up and walked at my side. He seemed exhausted and laid down at my side. I patted him and watched the waves arriving at the beach.

My phone in my pocket vibrated. I pulled it out and saw Matt’s name on the display.
“You okay? Where are you?” he asked as soon as he knew I had answered his call.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m at the beach, I needed to go out.”
“Well Johnny is freaking out, ‘cause you were not there when he looked after you. He called us all and alarmed us.”
“Why didn’t he just call me?” I asked confused.
“Think he was too upset to think clear,” Matt chuckled. “Whatever, we’ll pick you up, don’t go away, Missy.”

“Matt, it’s like five in the morning or so, just go to bed.”
“We’re soon there.”
“Oh, and Matt? Tell Johnny Peanut’s on my side.”
“Well I don’t think he even noticed he’s also not there, but I will. See you.” I hung up and stared at the ocean again and waited for Johnny and Matt to arrive.

Actually it wasn’t just the two of them. I could make out four figures who headed my way.
“If you ever went like that again I’m going to kill you, Kimberley,” Johnny shouted as he stood in front of me. He never ever had called me by my full name. “You could have left a message!”
“And you could have called me on my phone before waking everybody,” I just said.
“Oh, you’re here with my good old friend,” Zacky said and sat down next to me and took the bottle. “How are you?”
“Okay,” I just said. “Are you just wearing boxers?” I asked and looked at Johnny’s direction.
“Well I was a bit upset as I noticed you weren’t there anymore and I thought you would... I don’t know… maybe doing something stupid or something like that,” he said and his hand found his way through his little hair which was falling down on his head, since he haven’t done it.

“Why should I do that?” I asked. He just shrugged and sat down on Zacky’s other side. “And why are you all here? You should be home with your girls,” I said looking at Matt, Syn and Zach.
“Short shit had called us and we were worried and wanted to look if you’re okay. So, as I see you have a bottle of good stuff here, I think I’ll stay too,” Syn said and sat down.
“With you drunken asses it wouldn’t last long,” I said and took it from Zacky and took a sip before handing it to Syn.

“Well, I’ll go grab some stuff. I’ll be right back in twenty minutes,” Zacky said and left us alone.
“So why did you pick up Peanut?” Johnny asked and picked up the little dog, so he could rest on his lap.
“I needed a protector, so I chose him.”
He mumbled something like “could have wakened me”. I just smirked and watched again the beautiful sight.

“You couldn’t get rid of it,” Syn said and I simply nodded.
“Can I ask you something? I have this question in mind since some hours. You think, this was the only time he cheated on me?” while asking I avoided looking at them.
“Actually… I doubt that. I don’t know him, but… It’s just a feeling, but I doubt that.” Syn was the one who actually had spoken after a short break. Actually that was exactly that, was I was thinking too. I let out a sigh and let me fall, so I could now watch the stars.

I heard some bottles rattled and knew Zacky was finally back. “Here, eat something,” I heard him saying and felt something on my stomach. I looked up and saw a bag of chips. I wanted to grab the bottle of Jack Daniels, but Zacky hold it out of my reach. “Eat something and you’ll get it back.”
I just rolled my eyes, opened the bag and ate some of them. The salt on my lips hurt.
“So, you want to talk about it?” Matt asked.

“Don’t know what I should say. My fiancé cheated on me with the biggest whore around, got her pregnant and I was the biggest twerp and supported her. I think that hurt the most, ‘cause she didn’t had the balls to tell me it was his child. But I love the little one and I couldn’t be mad at her. What did you tell her?” I asked.
“First you shouldn’t name your sister like that and second your mother told her you got sick and had to see the doctor,” Matt answered. I was glad they didn’t tell her I was mad at my whole family. I was sure, they know it, and otherwise my dad wouldn’t have behaved like that.
“So you don’t want to talk ‘bout it, but you mind telling us how you got to know him? He didn’t look like the drummer kid on the photo we saw.”

“If you give me the bottle first I’ll tell you, Zach,” I reached out and Johnny handed me the bottle. “I think I was a kind of a stalker. I was twelve as I walked down the street and heard some cool noises from the garage the house at the other side of the street. So I just walked there and saw my neighbor who was two years older than me, sitting behind the drums. I wanted to learn it and so he taught me. I think I was more obsessed than him and became better after some time. I saved all my money so I could buy my own drums and I could play more often. I became friends with Bryan and his brother Josh. It was always the three of us.” I smiled at the memory and circulated the story. “I knew Josh had a crush on me, but I was more interested in his older brother and when he asked me out I was more than happy. So we became a couple and it seemed perfect. But after two years, we fought a lot more and stood aloof from another.” I took a huge sip and knew the others were staring at me, waiting for me to continue. “After two weeks without seeing he came to me, apologized and then he said he now knew what he had about me and asked me if I would become his wife. Rest of the story you know,” I ended bitterly. “So, but that’s the end of the story. That’s the past and I won’t look back,” I said more enthusiastic.

“That’s the attitude, kiddo,” Zacky said and put an arm around my shoulders. “So, I know, this isn’t the right time, but I absolutely need to tell it someone. I’m going to propose on Gena,” he said.
“When?” I asked, before someone could say anything.
“On Christmas eve,” he said and looked at me.

“I hate you, Zachary,” I said and looked strict at him. His eyes wide in shock and I knew he was about to apologize for telling it at this moment. “How will I keep this as a secret the whole time?” I asked and threw myself at him, so we both fell backwards.
“You’re really drunk, are you?” Zacky laughed.
“Yep,” I said and popped the P. “And I’m soo excited.”
“You think, she’ll say yes?” he asked a bit worried.

“Sure she will,” Matt answered the question and lift me up. I couldn’t stand on my own, so I grabbed the squashed bag of chips which laid now on Zacky and sat down next to Johnny.
“So, Zacky will be engaged soon, that just leaves the two of us,” I said and handed him the bottle.
“You want to change that?” he asked. I could hear Matt and Syn talking to Zacky.
“After all the shit I heard today I think I’m happier alone. They all found their mates, they’re happy, but I think it’s better for me to stay on my own for a while.”

“It wasn’t always like this with Gena and Zacky. They had an on- off relationship. But after a while they realized they needed each other,” he said and it sounded like he had thought about it for a while.
“Actually I feel like the loser of the year,” I said with chips in my mouth.
“Thanks for joining the club,” he said sarcastic and cleared the bottle. “Hey happy man, we need more stuff here,” Johnny yelled at Zacky who gave him a bottle 40’s.
“Hey Kay,” he said after a while of silence.

“Mhm,” I just made to show him I was listening.
“I really was worried ‘bout you. I didn’t know what you would do at five in the morning,” he said and I felt guilty for leaving without a note.
“Won’t happen again!” I promised.
“Otherwise I’ll kill you, when I find you,” he said with a smirk on the face. I put my head on his shoulder and we watched the rising sun.

-x-

We were on tour for almost a month. I really love these guys but it’s hard to live with them in a small bus. I also love the bus, but with this small bathroom and Brian – who actually need more time in there then us together – it was horrible. Yes, I started to call him Brian. There was no need to call him Syn the whole time. But with all that I wouldn’t want to change it. It was awesome! The fans were great and I actually had seen a Kay poster which filled me with pride. Soon there will be an interview with us and then we would have a gig.
I went outside of our room and saw two woman standing on the corridor. It seemed as they were fighting.

“And make sure you don’t film Synyster the whole time,” I could hear the brunette say. The blonde looked a bit pissed. “And you make sure you don’t forget your questions, while you’re all drooling over Shadows,” she spat back. I had to giggle and because of that they saw me and blushed a little. That must have been the interviewer for today and her camera woman.
“Well I just take two minutes and visit the powder room, think we can start then,” I said and they just nodded. After I came back the two of them were standing on the same spot I left them.

“Come on, we won’t bite,” I said and opened the door. “Guys, ready for the interview?” I asked and took a seat on a chair next to the wardrobe. The two women soon followed me and there was no shyness anymore. It seemed like they were in business mode now.
“Hey, I’m Flo and this is Nina, my camera woman. I’m doing the interview with you today. I’m trying to keep it short, so there’s enough time for you to brace yourself for your gig.”
“Think you’ll take a seat and is it okay for you guys, if you would share the settee, so I could film you all the whole time,” she said and pronounced the all and I had to giggle.

“Sure, no problem,” Brian said and he sat down on the backrest and I joined him, so Matt, Johnny and Zacky could sit on the front. The interviewer took place on the chair next to the seat. “There will be just some question ‘bout your tour and fans, stuff like that. Nothing really personal, except you want to tell something like that,” she said and I saw that she looked the whole time at Matt. Really, if anyone of these guys had the most women falling for him, it would definitely be Matt, closely followed by Brian I think.

“So you’re ready?” she asked and we nodded in union.
“Me, too,” the blonde said and I saw a red light blinking on the camera, which covered most of her face.
“Hey, today I’m up with Avenged Sevenfold right before their show in El Paso. So you guys have been touring for almost a month, what’s up next on your plan?” Flo asked and Matt decided to answer the question.

“We have four more concerts and then we’re heading home for Christmas to celebrate it with our families. Right after New Year we’ll continue this tour.”
“The last year, you have been gone through a lot of trouble with The Rev passing away and finding a new drummer. Can we expect a new album?”
This time Zacky took the mic and talked about that it was hard to decide if they would go on, but the fans were so approaching and told them they should carry on. He also told, that after ending the tour, we’ll write on new stuff.

“Kay, how is it to be the only woman in this band?”
Zacky handed me the mic. “Well what should it be like? I knew right from the start that these guys were not the normal people you know, but I think I’m also not normal. We come along pretty well, except from living in the bus,” I said.
“What do you mean?” Flo asked interested and leaned forward.
“It’s hard to live with five men in a small bus.” She smiled and I would guess she imagined how it would be if she would live there with them.

“I see,” she said. “So, you say you love your fans, but we all want to know what the craziest fan experience you’ve ever made was?”
I saw the smirks on the guys face. Brian grabbed the mic this time. “Well Zacky and I were at a bar after a gig and had some shoots. So a fan came and asked if she could take a picture with us. We made a pic and after that I heard a click, saw Zacky's face and then I looked at his wrist. The girl had some handcuffs and he was stuck to her for some hours since she wouldn’t want to tell where the keys were and they had to open it using a saw.”

“One of my worst nights of my life,” Zacky said.
She chuckled a bit and I laughed out loud before she started the next question.
“So, your show starts soon, how do you warm up?”
As Brian had the mic in his hands he answered this question too. “Shadz, Zacky, Kay and I use to make pushups, while Johnny just watches.”
“Well I just got warm by watching you sweat,” Johnny said and brought us to laugh.

“So, we’ll be a little bit more backstage and of course we’ll be there for the big concert,” Flo said into the camera and then the light stopped blinking. Just at this moment our coordinator entered the room and told us there were thirty minutes left. I really liked her. She was some kind of a dam and asked all the time if we needed something.
“You need anything?” Anja asked. I don’t know where she came from but she was definitely not an American because of her accent.
“No, thanks,” I said and rose to grab a bottle of energy drink from the table.

“You mind if we film your warming up?” The blonde, actually I had forgotten her name, asked. The guys told her it was no problem and I took my clothes and left the room so I could change. When I came back I grabbed my iPod and waited till Syn and the others came back changed.
“You think you’ll get thirty this time?” he asked me with a smirk on his face. I may not be so well built and didn’t have his pack of muscles but it wasn’t as if I didn’t get some pushups.
“Sure, you think you’ll get it?” I teased him and soon we were both on the ground and did some pushups.

“What ‘bout doing it with only on arm?” he asked.
“Tinhorn,” I mumbled. I know he just did it because the woman were in the room and filmed it probably.
“Okay guys, I’ll bring you to the stage,” Anja said and we rose and followed her through the door, the interviewer still in tow. And I was pretty sure the three women would stand next to the stage and admire the guys. I knew our coordinator had a soft spot for a muscular singer and his dimple smile. I was pretty excited ‘bout the show – I think this feeling won't go away ever.