New in School
Thát feeling
"Wha-what?" I stuttered and Pete looked down with a guilty expression. "Uhm.. yearh.. How long have you guys been together, or what ever you call it?"
"I don't know, a week or two." I said. "Well you need to find out, 'cause he said it to me on a last tuesday." he said and the bell rang. I felt sick when I walked over to my seat and sat down. I needed to find out when we first kissed, because maybe he wasn't even in love with me.. But what if he is? Oh my god, this is too much!
Art class began and I wondered if Gerard was even gonna show. I gave up hope whe.., wait.., I'm actually hoping he will come? God I'm so screwed..
Almost half through the lesson the door opened and in stepped no other than Gerard. He muttered an apology to Pete for coming late to class. He dragged his feet down to his seat without looking at me. I turned awkwardly in my chair and stared at him. He ignored all way through class and I was too scared to say anything. When the bell rang he painfully slow gathered his things. All the other students had left and I was still on my seat.
I looked Pete who have me a knowing look and walked out. I took in a deep breath before speaking, "Gerard?" I sounded like a fucking whispering mouse. He didn't react. "Gee, please look at me." I pleaded and he stood straight up, crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me with an evil look.
I tried to say something, but my voice got caught in my throat. He shook his head and grabbed his bag stomping towards the door. No no no no no no no no NO!
I grabbed his arm and swung him around so he was facing. Our faces was only inches away and he sighed. "Frankie, let me go." he said quietly. "No." I gazed into his eyes and gently pressed my lips to his. He hesitated before kissing back. My stomach was hit by butterflies once again and just as I was going to wrap my arms around him, he pulled away.
He had a sad expression and he was slowly about to walk away. "Please just hear me out." I pleaded and he stopped in his tracks. "If you're gonna blame it on the alcohol, just fuck off already.." he muttered not looking at me.
"I'm not. I just didn't know how much this" I beckoned a hand between us, "meant to you."
He looked at me, "But if you had, you wouldn't have done it?" he asked. "No of course not!" I said and he shook his head while laughing humorless.
"That doesn't matter, Frank. I would have wanted you not to do it because it meant something to you too." he said. I stared at him not knowing what to say.
"But it do mean something to me.. I just didn't know it at the time.." I whispered. "Too bad, huh.." he muttered angrily.
"Hey, wait, you're still mad at me?" he raised an eyebrow, "Of course I still am! You the hell did you expect?"
"Maybe some fucking understanding?" I hissed. He narrowed his eyes on me before turning around and mutter, "What ever.."
I ran in front of him stopping him in his tracks. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fuck off, please." he said, but I didn't move an inch. "Seriously dude!" "No!"
"Move I said! I don't wanna fucking talk to you!" he said. "Why the hell not?!" "Stop that bullshit, you know what! You fucking kissed him!"
"I know! And for that reason you don't wanna talk to me? Oh come the fuck on!" I said annoyed. "Exactly! You were the one to screw this up, Frankie. Now get out of my way." Oh hell no!
"AND SO WHAT?! You have never fucked up, huh? You have never once in your life done something stupid? You have never hurted someone without realising? YOU HAVE NEVER EVER IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN LIFE SCREWED SOMETHING AMAZING UP AND THE ONE PERSON YOU HOPED WOULD UNDERSTAND JUST WALKED OUT ON YOU?! Huh? TELL ME!!" I screamed at his face.
He stared at me with wide eyes and his face was paler than usual. I shook my head and ran out of class. I ran straight home, not handling this very well.
My parents was at work, so I ran up to my room and dropped on the bed sobbing. Damn that motherfucking boy! I never really cried and when I did it was because of physical injuries.
Shit, this feeling could only mean one thing.. I was in love... I fucking hate this..
"I don't know, a week or two." I said. "Well you need to find out, 'cause he said it to me on a last tuesday." he said and the bell rang. I felt sick when I walked over to my seat and sat down. I needed to find out when we first kissed, because maybe he wasn't even in love with me.. But what if he is? Oh my god, this is too much!
Art class began and I wondered if Gerard was even gonna show. I gave up hope whe.., wait.., I'm actually hoping he will come? God I'm so screwed..
Almost half through the lesson the door opened and in stepped no other than Gerard. He muttered an apology to Pete for coming late to class. He dragged his feet down to his seat without looking at me. I turned awkwardly in my chair and stared at him. He ignored all way through class and I was too scared to say anything. When the bell rang he painfully slow gathered his things. All the other students had left and I was still on my seat.
I looked Pete who have me a knowing look and walked out. I took in a deep breath before speaking, "Gerard?" I sounded like a fucking whispering mouse. He didn't react. "Gee, please look at me." I pleaded and he stood straight up, crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me with an evil look.
I tried to say something, but my voice got caught in my throat. He shook his head and grabbed his bag stomping towards the door. No no no no no no no no NO!
I grabbed his arm and swung him around so he was facing. Our faces was only inches away and he sighed. "Frankie, let me go." he said quietly. "No." I gazed into his eyes and gently pressed my lips to his. He hesitated before kissing back. My stomach was hit by butterflies once again and just as I was going to wrap my arms around him, he pulled away.
He had a sad expression and he was slowly about to walk away. "Please just hear me out." I pleaded and he stopped in his tracks. "If you're gonna blame it on the alcohol, just fuck off already.." he muttered not looking at me.
"I'm not. I just didn't know how much this" I beckoned a hand between us, "meant to you."
He looked at me, "But if you had, you wouldn't have done it?" he asked. "No of course not!" I said and he shook his head while laughing humorless.
"That doesn't matter, Frank. I would have wanted you not to do it because it meant something to you too." he said. I stared at him not knowing what to say.
"But it do mean something to me.. I just didn't know it at the time.." I whispered. "Too bad, huh.." he muttered angrily.
"Hey, wait, you're still mad at me?" he raised an eyebrow, "Of course I still am! You the hell did you expect?"
"Maybe some fucking understanding?" I hissed. He narrowed his eyes on me before turning around and mutter, "What ever.."
I ran in front of him stopping him in his tracks. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fuck off, please." he said, but I didn't move an inch. "Seriously dude!" "No!"
"Move I said! I don't wanna fucking talk to you!" he said. "Why the hell not?!" "Stop that bullshit, you know what! You fucking kissed him!"
"I know! And for that reason you don't wanna talk to me? Oh come the fuck on!" I said annoyed. "Exactly! You were the one to screw this up, Frankie. Now get out of my way." Oh hell no!
"AND SO WHAT?! You have never fucked up, huh? You have never once in your life done something stupid? You have never hurted someone without realising? YOU HAVE NEVER EVER IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN LIFE SCREWED SOMETHING AMAZING UP AND THE ONE PERSON YOU HOPED WOULD UNDERSTAND JUST WALKED OUT ON YOU?! Huh? TELL ME!!" I screamed at his face.
He stared at me with wide eyes and his face was paler than usual. I shook my head and ran out of class. I ran straight home, not handling this very well.
My parents was at work, so I ran up to my room and dropped on the bed sobbing. Damn that motherfucking boy! I never really cried and when I did it was because of physical injuries.
Shit, this feeling could only mean one thing.. I was in love... I fucking hate this..
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