Status: In Progress
Teehee TV
Episode Twenty
Rehtaeh: Hello Everyone! Welcome to Teehee TV!
Johnny: Why’d you capitalize ‘everyone’?
Rehtaeh: Because I CAN! GUESS WHAT PEOPLE?! IT’S JOHNNY’S BIIIIIRTHDAYYY!
Johnny: *blush* hehe! Wait, does that mean I can tell you what to do, Rehtaeh?
Rehtaeh: ….no.
Johnny: why nooooot?
Rehtaeh: Because.
Johnny: please?
Rehtaeh: no.
Johnny: Well I’m going to anyways.
Rehtaeh: psh. Well anyways, today we’re having a pet show!
Johnny: yay!
Rehtaeh: shut up.
Johnny: No. Bitch.
Rehtaeh: EXCUSE ME?
Johnny: hehe
Rehtaeh: *Glare* as I was SAYING. It’s Teehee TV’s pet show!
Audience: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!
Rehtaeh: WHORES! GO DIE! No just kidding. Then we would have to buy more viewers.
Audience: you don’t buy us… we just have nothing to do.
Rehtaeh: …. Well I will buy you. And we’ll buy the RIGHTS to you. Do you KNOW how popular this show is?!
Audience: ….. Not very
Rehtaeh: VERY. VERY. POPULAR. So SHUT YOUR UGLY FACES! We need a makeup crew over here! We cannot have an UGLY AUDIENCE.
Audience: wow, this is lame. We’re leaving.
Rehtaeh: Sit or I’ll set Nikki on you.
Audience: …… who’s Nikki?
Rehtaeh: *face palm*
Shelby: *runs out with Clarice* LOOK EVERYBODY! IT’S MY BABY HONEY GORGEOOOOUS!
Audience: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwww!
Rehtaeh: *pets Clarice* helloooo!
Clarice: *glare*
Rehtaeh: uh. *shoves Johnny over to Clarice*
Johnny: Oh…. Hi….. Clarice…. *glare*
Rehtaeh: …. Do you have a grudge against her?
Shelby&Johnny: *look at each other*
Johnny: It’s a long story.
Rehtaeh: *talks into walkie talkie*
*Fireplace background appears with armchair and couch*
Rehtaeh: *shoves Johnny into chair* We have time. Tell us.
Johnny: *blush* Uh, I’d much rather not tell you.
Rehtaeh: do it! I’ll drink this coffee if you don’t!
Jason: *runs out and knocks coffee out of Rehtaeh’s hand then runs back*
Rehtaeh: …ok, I’ll lick the coffee off the floor if you don’t.
Jason: *mops coffee up*
Rehtaeh: ok, I’ll call DJ to buy me a coffee.
Jason: *disables phone*
Rehtaeh: JASON I’M GONNA KILL YOU! You’re the soundboard dude! Do your job, or you’re not getting paid! LEAVE ME ALOOOOONE!
Jason: That was part of the job description.
Rehtaeh: Not letting me have coffee?
Jason: No, leaving you alone.
Rehtaeh: THEN LEAVE ME ALOOOOONE!
Jason: Fine, fine. *walks out*
Rehtaeh: …anyways., Johnny, continue.
Johnny: I thought this was a pet show.
Rehtaeh: it is. But it’s also your birthday. And Johnny tells a story day. I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time. Note the backdrop.
Johnny: … once upon a time, there was a dude, the end.
Rehtaeh: … *dials DJ’s number on her other cell phone* Hey baby. I need some coffee. A really big coffee.
Johnny: I don’t wanna tell you this! This has to do with me and Shelby and bad dirty things!
Rehtaeh: Oh reaaaaaaaaaally? *leans closer*
Johnny: You’re such a weird pervert!
Rehtaeh: I’m a SEXY weird pervert, so that makes it ok!
Shelby: *laughs*
Johnny: I bet CC’s watching this, so I can’t say!
Rehtaeh: *calls DJ back* and I need you to disable CC’s cable. And Television. And Internet. And Phone. And Old Western Movies. And…. HAIRSPRAY. Alright love. I love you too, I just said that. Tard. Jk. Ily. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai!
Johnny: . …… ……………………………….........
Rehtaeh: NOW TELL UUUUUUS. *sings*
Johnny: Yeah, no.
Rehtaeh: I’ll have Mr. Sixx reshave your head.
Johnny: He didn’t shave my whole head though.
Rehtaeh: he will this time!
Johnny: *gasp*
Rehtaeh: AHAHAHAHA! Tell us. Or I’ll…. Eat your…..
Shelby: ahem.
Rehtaeh: …..pet….. Fish. Wait, I’m a vegetarian. Your…. Pet….. Broccoli.
Shelby: I LOVE broccoli!
Rehtaeh: Me toooo!
Johnny: oh Jesus.
Max: Yes?
Shelby: ew, Max, go away.
Rehtaeh: hehehehehehehe.
Max: *leaves*
Rehtaeh: anyways, on with the story.
Johnny: oh my god, no one cares about the stupid story! Get on with the pet show!
Audience: we care!
Rehtaeh: see?
Johnny: NO! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! I DON’T HAVE TOOOO!
Rehtaeh: Fine. Get off your boy period. Loser. Anyways. This is Shelby’s cat, Clarice. Say hi Clarice!
Clarice: *glare*
Rehtaeh: hey, hey, your mama brought you here, not me. Shut up.
Clarice: *glare*
Rehtaeh: she doesn’t like people. She’s like me, only in cat form.
Shelby: and BETTER! No offense.
Rehtaeh: *death glare*
Shelby: I meant that in the best possible way!
Rehtaeh: …. BITCH!
Johnny: hey!
Rehtaeh: you called me a bitch, so I’m calling HER a bitch. That makes no sense! But WHATEVER! Ily Shelby! <3
Shelby: I still love broccoli.
Rehtaeh: -_-
Johnny: Anyways, here’s REHTAEH AND DJ’S PETS!
Rehtaeh: *brings in Pinky, Katrina, Leo, and Sam* These are our babies! Right DJ?
DJ: *walks in with coffee* they’re mostly hers. Pinky is mine :D
Rehtaeh: Ok, well, Pinky is a monkey, Katrina is my baby kitty cat, Leo is my… mountain lion cub, and Sam is a GIANT ASS SNAKE! *hands Sam to Johnny*
Johnny: GAH! She’s gonna eat meeee!
Rehtaeh: no… she just might squeeze you to death! :D
Johnny: Oh thanks.
Rehtaeh: *takes Sam* Ok, DJ, you can go now, with our loves.
DJ: *hands me coffee* :3 hehe ily.
Rehtaeh: ily2. Bai.
DJ: bye.
Johnny: ok, Shelby’s turn. Wait, she already went…
Rehtaeh: coughidiotcough
Johnny: Hey!
Jason: can I go next?!
Shelby: ew no. You’ll show us your pet poop sandwich.
Jason: No, I wanna bring my rats out.
Rehtaeh: Wait till DJ’s gone with Sam. She might try to eat them…
Jason: Oh, but you haven’t seen my rats.
Rehtaeh: … ok… bring them out then.
Jason: ok! *runs out and comes back in*
http://i611.photobucket.com/albums/tt196/rehtaeh_is_goddess/Jasonsgodzillarat.jpg?t=1311646132
Rehtaeh: … JESUS JASON! YOU SQUISHED JOHNNY!
Shelby: YOU RUINED HIS BIRTHDAYYYY!
Rehtaeh: hey, where’s Clarice?
Shelby: … I don’t know. Oh my god!
Johnny: THERE’S A CAT SCRATCHING MY DICK!
Shelby: again?!
Rehtaeh: BAHA!
Johnny: it’s not funny!
Rehtaeh: yes it is.
Shelby: Clarice, come here right now!
Clarice: *walks over innocently* Raer.
Shelby: don’t “raer” me.
Clarice: *purr*
Shelby: Awwwwww I love you too baby.
Rehtaeh: *scrapes Johnny off the floor and sets him on the couch* Um… I guess that’s enough with the animals for today… :/
Johnny: Thank you.
Jason: should me and my rat just leave?
Rehtaeh: yes. Just leave. Please.
Jason: *leaves*
Rehtaeh: well, now we get to bring out Johnny’s birthday caaaaaaake!
Johnny: :D
Rehtaeh: but first, we get to sing happy birthday!
Everyone: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIIIIIIRTHDAY TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOOOOOOOOOOU! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRTHDAY TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRTHDAY DEAAAAAAAAAAAAR JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNY! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRTHDAY TOOOOOOO ---breath--- YOOOOOOOOOOOU!
Johnny: Thank you! :D *blush*
Rehtaeh: ok, Max Bemis, bring out the cake!
Max: *walks in with cake*
http://i611.photobucket.com/albums/tt196/rehtaeh_is_goddess/JohnnysGodzillaCake.jpg?t=1311646177
Johnny: uhh… wtf is that?
Rehtaeh: your cake! I made all by myself! :D It’s lemon and chocolate.
Johnny: …what did you do to it?!
Rehtaeh: nothing…?
Johnny: Did you put arsenic in it?
Rehtaeh: who has arsenic lying around?!
Johnny: you!
Rehtaeh: oh yeah. Well no, I wouldn’t waste that on you. I’m saving it for when I TAKE OVER THE UNIVERRRRRRRRSE!
Johnny: What?
Rehtaeh: I’m gonna poison stupid people.
Johnny: with just arsenic?
Rehtaeh: yep.
Johnny: ….. *takes bite of cake* Are you sure this isn’t gonna kill me?
Rehtaeh: what would I gain from killing you? You’re my BFFFF
Johnny: a new co host.
Rehtaeh: yeah, but he or she would probably be really annoying a stupid. Well, more than you, anyways.
Johnny: you could get one that was less annoying and stupid though.
Rehtaeh: I’m not that lucky, Johnny. Eat your cake, and shut up.
Johnny: ok… *eats cake*
Shelby: Johnnyyyy I got you a present.
Johnny: oh?
Shelby: *hands him present*
Johnny: *opens present* A sweater!
Shelby: I made it.
Johnny: *reads* Shelby Johnny Forever.
Shelby: :D yes.
Johnny: *puts sweater on and kisses her* Thank you!
Audience: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Shelby: hehe!
Rehtaeh: Well, that about ends it for this episode, my darlings. This episode was five pages long. Holy crap. Shut up. Bai!
*episode ends*
Johnny: Why’d you capitalize ‘everyone’?
Rehtaeh: Because I CAN! GUESS WHAT PEOPLE?! IT’S JOHNNY’S BIIIIIRTHDAYYY!
Johnny: *blush* hehe! Wait, does that mean I can tell you what to do, Rehtaeh?
Rehtaeh: ….no.
Johnny: why nooooot?
Rehtaeh: Because.
Johnny: please?
Rehtaeh: no.
Johnny: Well I’m going to anyways.
Rehtaeh: psh. Well anyways, today we’re having a pet show!
Johnny: yay!
Rehtaeh: shut up.
Johnny: No. Bitch.
Rehtaeh: EXCUSE ME?
Johnny: hehe
Rehtaeh: *Glare* as I was SAYING. It’s Teehee TV’s pet show!
Audience: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!
Rehtaeh: WHORES! GO DIE! No just kidding. Then we would have to buy more viewers.
Audience: you don’t buy us… we just have nothing to do.
Rehtaeh: …. Well I will buy you. And we’ll buy the RIGHTS to you. Do you KNOW how popular this show is?!
Audience: ….. Not very
Rehtaeh: VERY. VERY. POPULAR. So SHUT YOUR UGLY FACES! We need a makeup crew over here! We cannot have an UGLY AUDIENCE.
Audience: wow, this is lame. We’re leaving.
Rehtaeh: Sit or I’ll set Nikki on you.
Audience: …… who’s Nikki?
Rehtaeh: *face palm*
Shelby: *runs out with Clarice* LOOK EVERYBODY! IT’S MY BABY HONEY GORGEOOOOUS!
Audience: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwww!
Rehtaeh: *pets Clarice* helloooo!
Clarice: *glare*
Rehtaeh: uh. *shoves Johnny over to Clarice*
Johnny: Oh…. Hi….. Clarice…. *glare*
Rehtaeh: …. Do you have a grudge against her?
Shelby&Johnny: *look at each other*
Johnny: It’s a long story.
Rehtaeh: *talks into walkie talkie*
*Fireplace background appears with armchair and couch*
Rehtaeh: *shoves Johnny into chair* We have time. Tell us.
Johnny: *blush* Uh, I’d much rather not tell you.
Rehtaeh: do it! I’ll drink this coffee if you don’t!
Jason: *runs out and knocks coffee out of Rehtaeh’s hand then runs back*
Rehtaeh: …ok, I’ll lick the coffee off the floor if you don’t.
Jason: *mops coffee up*
Rehtaeh: ok, I’ll call DJ to buy me a coffee.
Jason: *disables phone*
Rehtaeh: JASON I’M GONNA KILL YOU! You’re the soundboard dude! Do your job, or you’re not getting paid! LEAVE ME ALOOOOONE!
Jason: That was part of the job description.
Rehtaeh: Not letting me have coffee?
Jason: No, leaving you alone.
Rehtaeh: THEN LEAVE ME ALOOOOONE!
Jason: Fine, fine. *walks out*
Rehtaeh: …anyways., Johnny, continue.
Johnny: I thought this was a pet show.
Rehtaeh: it is. But it’s also your birthday. And Johnny tells a story day. I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time. Note the backdrop.
Johnny: … once upon a time, there was a dude, the end.
Rehtaeh: … *dials DJ’s number on her other cell phone* Hey baby. I need some coffee. A really big coffee.
Johnny: I don’t wanna tell you this! This has to do with me and Shelby and bad dirty things!
Rehtaeh: Oh reaaaaaaaaaally? *leans closer*
Johnny: You’re such a weird pervert!
Rehtaeh: I’m a SEXY weird pervert, so that makes it ok!
Shelby: *laughs*
Johnny: I bet CC’s watching this, so I can’t say!
Rehtaeh: *calls DJ back* and I need you to disable CC’s cable. And Television. And Internet. And Phone. And Old Western Movies. And…. HAIRSPRAY. Alright love. I love you too, I just said that. Tard. Jk. Ily. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai!
Johnny: . …… ……………………………….........
Rehtaeh: NOW TELL UUUUUUS. *sings*
Johnny: Yeah, no.
Rehtaeh: I’ll have Mr. Sixx reshave your head.
Johnny: He didn’t shave my whole head though.
Rehtaeh: he will this time!
Johnny: *gasp*
Rehtaeh: AHAHAHAHA! Tell us. Or I’ll…. Eat your…..
Shelby: ahem.
Rehtaeh: …..pet….. Fish. Wait, I’m a vegetarian. Your…. Pet….. Broccoli.
Shelby: I LOVE broccoli!
Rehtaeh: Me toooo!
Johnny: oh Jesus.
Max: Yes?
Shelby: ew, Max, go away.
Rehtaeh: hehehehehehehe.
Max: *leaves*
Rehtaeh: anyways, on with the story.
Johnny: oh my god, no one cares about the stupid story! Get on with the pet show!
Audience: we care!
Rehtaeh: see?
Johnny: NO! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! I DON’T HAVE TOOOO!
Rehtaeh: Fine. Get off your boy period. Loser. Anyways. This is Shelby’s cat, Clarice. Say hi Clarice!
Clarice: *glare*
Rehtaeh: hey, hey, your mama brought you here, not me. Shut up.
Clarice: *glare*
Rehtaeh: she doesn’t like people. She’s like me, only in cat form.
Shelby: and BETTER! No offense.
Rehtaeh: *death glare*
Shelby: I meant that in the best possible way!
Rehtaeh: …. BITCH!
Johnny: hey!
Rehtaeh: you called me a bitch, so I’m calling HER a bitch. That makes no sense! But WHATEVER! Ily Shelby! <3
Shelby: I still love broccoli.
Rehtaeh: -_-
Johnny: Anyways, here’s REHTAEH AND DJ’S PETS!
Rehtaeh: *brings in Pinky, Katrina, Leo, and Sam* These are our babies! Right DJ?
DJ: *walks in with coffee* they’re mostly hers. Pinky is mine :D
Rehtaeh: Ok, well, Pinky is a monkey, Katrina is my baby kitty cat, Leo is my… mountain lion cub, and Sam is a GIANT ASS SNAKE! *hands Sam to Johnny*
Johnny: GAH! She’s gonna eat meeee!
Rehtaeh: no… she just might squeeze you to death! :D
Johnny: Oh thanks.
Rehtaeh: *takes Sam* Ok, DJ, you can go now, with our loves.
DJ: *hands me coffee* :3 hehe ily.
Rehtaeh: ily2. Bai.
DJ: bye.
Johnny: ok, Shelby’s turn. Wait, she already went…
Rehtaeh: coughidiotcough
Johnny: Hey!
Jason: can I go next?!
Shelby: ew no. You’ll show us your pet poop sandwich.
Jason: No, I wanna bring my rats out.
Rehtaeh: Wait till DJ’s gone with Sam. She might try to eat them…
Jason: Oh, but you haven’t seen my rats.
Rehtaeh: … ok… bring them out then.
Jason: ok! *runs out and comes back in*
http://i611.photobucket.com/albums/tt196/rehtaeh_is_goddess/Jasonsgodzillarat.jpg?t=1311646132
Rehtaeh: … JESUS JASON! YOU SQUISHED JOHNNY!
Shelby: YOU RUINED HIS BIRTHDAYYYY!
Rehtaeh: hey, where’s Clarice?
Shelby: … I don’t know. Oh my god!
Johnny: THERE’S A CAT SCRATCHING MY DICK!
Shelby: again?!
Rehtaeh: BAHA!
Johnny: it’s not funny!
Rehtaeh: yes it is.
Shelby: Clarice, come here right now!
Clarice: *walks over innocently* Raer.
Shelby: don’t “raer” me.
Clarice: *purr*
Shelby: Awwwwww I love you too baby.
Rehtaeh: *scrapes Johnny off the floor and sets him on the couch* Um… I guess that’s enough with the animals for today… :/
Johnny: Thank you.
Jason: should me and my rat just leave?
Rehtaeh: yes. Just leave. Please.
Jason: *leaves*
Rehtaeh: well, now we get to bring out Johnny’s birthday caaaaaaake!
Johnny: :D
Rehtaeh: but first, we get to sing happy birthday!
Everyone: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIIIIIIRTHDAY TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOOOOOOOOOOU! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRTHDAY TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRTHDAY DEAAAAAAAAAAAAR JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNY! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRTHDAY TOOOOOOO ---breath--- YOOOOOOOOOOOU!
Johnny: Thank you! :D *blush*
Rehtaeh: ok, Max Bemis, bring out the cake!
Max: *walks in with cake*
http://i611.photobucket.com/albums/tt196/rehtaeh_is_goddess/JohnnysGodzillaCake.jpg?t=1311646177
Johnny: uhh… wtf is that?
Rehtaeh: your cake! I made all by myself! :D It’s lemon and chocolate.
Johnny: …what did you do to it?!
Rehtaeh: nothing…?
Johnny: Did you put arsenic in it?
Rehtaeh: who has arsenic lying around?!
Johnny: you!
Rehtaeh: oh yeah. Well no, I wouldn’t waste that on you. I’m saving it for when I TAKE OVER THE UNIVERRRRRRRRSE!
Johnny: What?
Rehtaeh: I’m gonna poison stupid people.
Johnny: with just arsenic?
Rehtaeh: yep.
Johnny: ….. *takes bite of cake* Are you sure this isn’t gonna kill me?
Rehtaeh: what would I gain from killing you? You’re my BFFFF
Johnny: a new co host.
Rehtaeh: yeah, but he or she would probably be really annoying a stupid. Well, more than you, anyways.
Johnny: you could get one that was less annoying and stupid though.
Rehtaeh: I’m not that lucky, Johnny. Eat your cake, and shut up.
Johnny: ok… *eats cake*
Shelby: Johnnyyyy I got you a present.
Johnny: oh?
Shelby: *hands him present*
Johnny: *opens present* A sweater!
Shelby: I made it.
Johnny: *reads* Shelby Johnny Forever.
Shelby: :D yes.
Johnny: *puts sweater on and kisses her* Thank you!
Audience: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Shelby: hehe!
Rehtaeh: Well, that about ends it for this episode, my darlings. This episode was five pages long. Holy crap. Shut up. Bai!
*episode ends*