Status: In Progress
Teehee TV
Episode Nineteen
Rehtaeh: Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!111111!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!1111!!!11111!!!!
Johnny: Stop with the ones!
Rehtaeh: EHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!! I IZ HYPAH!
Johnny: ….ummmmmmm….
Rehtaeh: THIS IS TEEHEE TV! HI!
Johnny: I think they know that!
Jason: *starts playing INTERVEIW WITH! *drum roll* TAYLOOOOOR LAAAAAAAAAAUTNERERERERERER*
Rehtaeh: *dancing* DJ GAVE ME SODA!
Johnny: ….. Can we just get on with the interview please?
Rehtaeh: NO!
Johnny: YES.
Rehtaeh: BITE ME!
Johnny: Um…
Rehtaeh: Anyways, as Jason …. Said… sang… whatever, We’re interviewing Taylor Lautner.
Johnny: Say hi Mr. Lautner!
Taylor Lautner: Hey everyone!
Taylor Lautner fan girls: OMG IT’S TAYLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR! TEAM JACOB FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Rehtaeh: EW TWILIGHT SUCKS SHUT UP!
Taylor Lautner: Then why are you interviewing me?
Rehtaeh: Because you’re cool! And you have abs!
Johnny: That’s not why we were interviewing him!
Rehtaeh: That’s why I wanna interview him. Why do YOU wanna interview him Johnathon?
Johnny: Because Shelby said she wanted us to interview him!
Rehtaeh: …you’re whipped.
Johnny: wha?!
Rehtaeh: yeah, whatever.
Johnny: I don’t even know what that means.
Jason: OH BUUUURN!
Rehtaeh: Jason shut up. It’s not really an insult.
Johnny: I’m confused!
Rehtaeh: YOU LOVE SHELBY TOO MUCH!
Johnny: what does that have to do with being whipped?
Rehtaeh: nothing.
Johnny: Then why’d you say I was gonna be whipped?!
Rehtaeh: Johnny just never mind….
Johnny: I’M SO CONFUSED!
Taylor Lautner: Me tooooo!
Rehtaeh: YAAAAAAAAAAY EVERYONE IS CONFUZZLED!
Audience: *murmurs* You guys are weird…
Rehtaeh: but sexy.
Audience: WOOT! Sure.
Rehtaeh: baha.
Taylor Lautner Fan Girls: TAYLOR IS SEEEEEEEEEEEXYYYYYYYY!
Rehtaeh: …would you GO AWAY?!
Johnny: Yeah how do you think Taylor’s mom feels about that?
Rehtaeh: …. *tapes Johnny’s mouth shut with leopard print duct tape*
Taylor: I’m 18 now, ya know
Fan girls: DARN IT’S ILLEGAL!
30 Year Old Cougar: Not for meeeeee!
Rehtaeh: LEAVE!
30 year old cougar: you are SOOOO getting bad ratings
Rehtaeh: Not from normal, unannoying, unstupid people.
Taylor: Don’t you mean un normal
Rehtaeh: no! NORMALLLL!
Taylor: Um.
Rehtaeh: I LYKE SODA!
Taylor: you misspelled like.
Rehtaeh: CUZ IM HOT. And I thought this was a show! How do YOU know I spelled it wrong?!
Taylor: The script is right there….
Rehtaeh: we never use the script!
Taylor: …you’re using it right now!
Rehtaeh: ….then how did we already know you were gonna say that?!
Taylor: I’m confused again!
Rehtaeh: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Shelby: …. Poor Taylor.
Rehtaeh: *dances in circles*
Taylor: so…what are we gonna do today?
Rehtaeh: Whatever you feel like doing!
Shelby: you guys were gonna ask him some questions.
Rehtaeh: awe… that’s boring. Ok, anyways, Taylor, what is your favorite ice cream?
Taylor: Cake Batter!
Rehtaeh: OMG THAT STUFF IS SOOOO GOOOOOOD!
Shelby: aha! I already knew that! My step sister told me!
Taylor: who’s your step sister?
Shelby: your wife……….
Taylor: I have a wife?!
Shelby: Yes!
Taylor: Oh, ok.
Rehtaeh: …. *glares at Shelby* shut up.
Shelby: WHAT?! You taped your co hosts mouth shut.
Rehtaeh: shut up. I’ll tape yours shut too.
Shelby: *walks off*
Rehtaeh: that’s what I thought…
Johnny: MMMMMMFFFF!
Rehtaeh: stop it. I’ll beat you with…. *looks around and sees huge arm chair* that chair.
Taylor: um.
Rehtaeh: so anyways… What’s your middle name??
Taylor: ……. Daniel.
Rehtaeh: OMG MINE TOO! No jk.
Taylor: What’s yours?
Rehtaeh: IT’S UNSPEAKABLE….!
DJ: *runs out* It’s Th-
Rehtaeh: *covers his mouth* Bad DJ. Bad. BAD.
DJ: hehehehehehe *wink* that sounds dirty.
Rehtaeh: wooooow. Go away.
DJ: It’s Theresa
Rehtaeh: DAREN JAY ASHBA!!!
DJ: Oh yeah, mine’s Jay by the way.
Johnny: *rips off tape* OW!
Rehtaeh: awe… but it was LEOPARD PRINT!
Johnny: then tape your own mouth!
Rehtaeh: *tapes DJ’s*
DJ: *walks off dancing like a river dancer*
Rehtaeh: … I don’t know him.
Taylor: I don’t either.
Rehtaeh: OMG WE HAVE SOOO MUCH IN COMMON NOT REALLY!
Taylor: OMG!
Johnny: ………. Remember shark boy and lava girl? Thoooose were the good old days…
Rehtaeh: I love that movie.
Johnny: I know me too!
Taylor: I was so young!
Rehtaeh: and so CUUUUUUTE!
Johnny: now you’re all…. Not little. And slightly scary
Rehtaeh: …. HOW is he scary?
Johnny: what if he beats me up?!
Taylor: I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna beat you up.
Rehtaeh: omg Johnny, you’re in a band with MATT SANDERS.
Johnny: That doesn’t mean he’s gonna defend me. And shouldn’t we say M. Shadows?
Rehtaeh: Matt doesn’t beat you up. OR HE BETTER NOT. *glares at camera* Matt, if you beat up my CO HOST I’M GONNA KILL YOU! IF I CAN.
Johnny: It’s M. Shizzle.
Rehtaeh: hehehehehehe. Heeheehehehehee. Ehehehehehe. He’s sexy.
Johnny: ……… um.
Rehtaeh: that was supposed to stay in my head. Sorry.
Taylor: sooooo
Rehtaeh: lemme think of another question.
Taylor: don’t you have like, queue cards or something?
Rehtaeh: …. No. That’s lame. Jason!!!! WHAT WERE OOUUUUUR QUUUUESSSSSSSTIOOOOOOONS?!
Taylor: why’d you sing that?
Rehtaeh: he only understands song.
Taylor: …. Ohhhh???
Jason: *sings* THEEEEY’RE OOOON JOHNNY’S BAAAAAAAAAAACK!
Johnny: WHAT?!
Rehtaeh: Oh yeah, when you were sleeping, Jason and I brainstormed some questions and wrote them on your back….
Johnny: why?!
Shelby: is that why there was writing on his back?
Everyone: *awkward silence and stares at Shelby and Johnny*
Shelby: oh wait, not that I know that!
Rehtaeh: riiiiiiight……. Note to self, wash Johnny’s sheets before going in his room.
Johnny: Tee hee…
Jason: *sings* TV ROOOOOCKS!
Rehtaeh: ……… …… …………… ………. That was lame Jason.
Jason: *sings* but I’m cooool!
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*
Taylor: so what’s the next questions?
Rehtaeh: Do you think you’re sexy?
Taylor: Um….. No…..
Rehtaeh: DAMN IT I WANTED YOU IN MY CLUB. OF SEXY PEOPLE. WHO THINK THEY’RE SEXY.
Johnny: I’m in Shelby’s H-BA
Rehtaeh: …. But you aren’t blonde anymore.
Johnny: yes I am.
Rehtaeh: … I just thought you shaved your head.
Johnny: No, Sixx shaved Sixx Rocks or something like that into my head.
Rehtaeh: ehehehehehehe I love Sixx. He’s funny.
Johnny: I’m telling.
Rehtaeh: … not that kind of love, my dear.
Johnny: ………… *DJ has censored this* YOU!
Taylor: *gasp*
Rehtaeh: YOU *DJ has censored this*
Johnny: *gasp*
Rehtaeh: BWAHAHAHAHA.
Johnny: Well you suck DJ’s *DJ has censored this* And why did DJ censor that when I didn’t even say anything bad?
Rehtaeh: … I don’ know, but I do suck DJ’s *DJ has censored this* DJ stop that!
DJ: *walks over* hehehehehehe
Rehtaeh: I don’t suck THAT part of your body. My love.
DJ: but… what about that one time…
Slash (In audience): *stands up* WHAT?!
DJ: I--- I--- said….. Uh…….. *sprints off*
Slash: I’M GONNA KILL HIM!
Rehtaeh: …but…. He’s my husband. You can’t kill him.
Johnny: SECURITY!!
Max Bemis and Kevin Bacon: Please Slash, sit down, seriously.
Slash: …. NEVERRRR!
Max Bemis and Kevin Bacon: We’ll have to remove you…
Slash: psh, fine… *sits*
Rehtaeh: hehehe
Max and Kevin: Thank you
Rehtaeh: I’VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS DEEDLY DEE
Johnny: …wait, what are we doing?
Rehtaeh: So Taylor…. You got a girlfriend?
Taylor: Apparently I have a wife.
Rehtaeh: oooh we can show you a picture!
Shelby: QUEUE THE SLIDESHOOOOW!
Casper Fuzz: *starts slideshow*
Rehtaeh: IN this picture, you see you and Allison, your wife, on a white horse by a castle.
Taylor: When was this taken?
Rehtaeh: It was taken cougheditedcough last Thursday by my love, Daren.
Shelby: and in THIS picture, you two are on the beach by a lighthouse!
Taylor: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…. When was that taken?
Rehtaeh: again, cougheditedcough by my love Daren, last Thursday!
Taylor: so we went to a castle and a lighthouse… in one day?
Shelby: yeah, you don’t remember? I’m in the background in this one! When we’re at our toga party!
Taylor: When was I in a toga?!
Shelby: Last Thursdaaaaay!
Taylor: I SO don’t remember any of this.
Shelby: Well I do.
Rehtaeh: ………. DJ DOES.
DJ: Yes I doooooo *wink*
Rehtaeh: … I thought you were running from my dad?
DJ: …. Shhh.
Rehtaeh: OMG GUESS WHAT TOMORROW IS?!
DJ: I KNOW! I KNOOOOOOW!
Johnny: Wednesday?
Shelby: Nooooooooo! It’s their anniversary!
DJ: Our TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY! *hugs Rehtaeh*
Audience: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Slash: get away from my daughter!
Rehtaeh: Dad… shut up.
Slash: EXCUSE ME?!
Rehtaeh: yeah, I went there.
Slash: You need counseling.
Rehtaeh: …. I’m already getting counseling.
Slash: … you need MORE counseling.
Rehtaeh: RONNIE NEEDS COUNSELING.
Shelby: hey, let’s not talk about Ronnie when he’s not here.
Rehtaeh: … can we wait till he gets here?
Shelby: he’s not gonna be here!
Rehtaeh: damn. Anyways… DJ…. Don’t do anything on our anniversary. Just don’t.
DJ: So we’re gonna sit the whole day?
Rehtaeh: …. You plan too much. Like, last year…. Oh god, do I even wanna tell you people what he did?!
Audience: ooh ooh we wanna know!
Rehtaeh: …. He flew us to Africa! And went on a safari. Then we went home, changed, then went to Paris and ate some disgusting escargot, then flew to the Russian Tundra, and trekked through the snowy forests, then went home, and ate some spaghetti. Then sat in the hot tub, while listening to Frank Sinatra. …. I don’t even like Frank Sinatra.
Everyone: *gasp*
Rehtaeh: … ok a little bit… but… still! He plans too much stuff…
Shelby: I thought it was romantic and cute!
DJ: Me too!
Rehtaeh: …but a lot of money. You waste enough as it is!
DJ: It’s all worth it!
Taylor: awe!
Rehtaeh: ………. You people are crazy.
Everyone: *stares at Rehtaeh*
Rehtaeh: ….maybe it’s me.
Slash: Yeah it’s you.
Rehtaeh: Oh, thanks Dad. I know when I’m not wanted!
Slash: *gasp*
DJ: *gasp*
Shelby: I LOVE JOHNNY! *hugs Johnny*
Rehtaeh: ok that was random.
Shelby: Sorry, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Rehtaeh: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Shelby: and by it, I mean broccoli.
Rehtaeh: Now I want broccoli.
Shelby: steamed broccoli. Yuuuuuummy!
Rehtaeh: ikr?!
DJ: ewww vegetables are grody!
Rehtaeh: …. DJ, we go through this every night. And I always end up sitting on you and force feeding you vegetables.
DJ: hehe.
Shelby: He’s weird. You know that right?
Rehtaeh: yes. Yes I do.
Taylor: …. I like broccoli.
Rehtaeh: we know Taylor, we know.
Johnny: I would’ve thought you only liked raw red meat. and muscle milk.
Rehtaeh: You mean muscle breast milk?
Johnny: what?!
Rehtaeh: on aim my friend was talking about I-
Johnny: shut up.
Rehtaeh: it, and she was trying to type muscle beast, but
Johnny: I don’t care!
Rehtaeh: typed muscle breast milk instead.
Johnny: …. Cause we care so much.
Rehtaeh: but it was FUNNY
Johnny: oh yes, so funny, breast.
Rehtaeh: I was thinking like a muscley dude was trying and failing to breast feed a baby.
Johnny: Oh yes, breast feeding. So hilarious.
Rehtaeh: …. I was picturing Matt.
Johnny: Oh yes, that makes it even more funny.
Rehtaeh: I thought it did…. *hits Johnny*
Johnny: thanks.
Rehtaeh: MUAHAHAHAHA.
Taylor: why would a muscley guy be breast feeding a baby?
Rehtaeh: I don’t know.
Johnny: can we change the subject?! This is so, just, NO!
Rehtaeh: …. We all know you like man boobs Johnny, I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.
Johnny: I thought we were talking about muscley guys, not fat guys.
Rehtaeh: Johnny….. You’re stupid.
Johnny: thanks.
Shelby: call him stupid one more time, Rehtaeh!
Rehtaeh: ….Johnny you’re stupid.
Shelby: *picks up 30 year old cougar and throws her at Rehtaeh*
Rehtaeh: you can’t lift that.
Shelby: well I just did and I just threw her at you.
Rehtaeh: …. *moves*
30 year old cougar: *lands on Johnny*
Jason: wha wha whaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
Johnny: ow!
Rehtaeh: oops. Sorry Johnny.
Johnny: psh
Rehtaeh: …………… I think I’m gonna go make out with DJ.
Shelby: this is straight, I’m leaving.
Rehtaeh: … THIS IS CHICKEN! ….
Shelby: excuse me?!
Rehtaeh: …idk. It’s more… JOHNNY.
Johnny: what?!
Shelby: Johnny’s not straight
Johnny: I’m not?! Yes I am!
Rehtaeh: BAHA!
Shelby: this is still straight, we’re leaving! *grabs Johnny and stomps out*
Rehtaeh: well then…
Slash: hurry up, you gotta go to therapy.
Rehtaeh: … like I’m going.
Slash: oh you are.
Rehtaeh: *hides behind Taylor and DJ*
Taylor: *awkward silence* this is weird now. *walks off*
Rehtaeh: *hides behind DJ*
DJ: I’m so skinny though!
Rehtaeh: I’m so…. Idk!
Slash: um.
Rehtaeh: well… I’m gonna go since my co host is probably getting some action right now.
Johnny: I can hear you and no I’m noooot!
Jason: Whaaa Wha whaaaaa!
Johnny: would you stop that?!
Rehtaeh: hehehe he’s getting action….. Hehe.
DJ: …lucky.
Slash: *glare*
DJ: ….uh.
Rehtaeh: well, he IS getting lucky.
DJ: that’s not what I meant!
Rehtaeh: I know what you meant, I’m not stupid. Sometimes.
DJ: I think you’re perrrrrrrrfeeeeeeeect.
Rehtaeh: ….. I’m leaving. Before DJ starts… being creepy. Er. Than normal. BYYYYYE! *waves and drinks monster*
DJ: AHH!
Jason: *sings* can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky
Shelby: JASON NO.
Jason: *barks* *sings* I’M A DOOOOGGY!
Rehtaeh: ….. Um. Bye.
*show ends*
Johnny: Stop with the ones!
Rehtaeh: EHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!! I IZ HYPAH!
Johnny: ….ummmmmmm….
Rehtaeh: THIS IS TEEHEE TV! HI!
Johnny: I think they know that!
Jason: *starts playing INTERVEIW WITH! *drum roll* TAYLOOOOOR LAAAAAAAAAAUTNERERERERERER*
Rehtaeh: *dancing* DJ GAVE ME SODA!
Johnny: ….. Can we just get on with the interview please?
Rehtaeh: NO!
Johnny: YES.
Rehtaeh: BITE ME!
Johnny: Um…
Rehtaeh: Anyways, as Jason …. Said… sang… whatever, We’re interviewing Taylor Lautner.
Johnny: Say hi Mr. Lautner!
Taylor Lautner: Hey everyone!
Taylor Lautner fan girls: OMG IT’S TAYLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR! TEAM JACOB FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Rehtaeh: EW TWILIGHT SUCKS SHUT UP!
Taylor Lautner: Then why are you interviewing me?
Rehtaeh: Because you’re cool! And you have abs!
Johnny: That’s not why we were interviewing him!
Rehtaeh: That’s why I wanna interview him. Why do YOU wanna interview him Johnathon?
Johnny: Because Shelby said she wanted us to interview him!
Rehtaeh: …you’re whipped.
Johnny: wha?!
Rehtaeh: yeah, whatever.
Johnny: I don’t even know what that means.
Jason: OH BUUUURN!
Rehtaeh: Jason shut up. It’s not really an insult.
Johnny: I’m confused!
Rehtaeh: YOU LOVE SHELBY TOO MUCH!
Johnny: what does that have to do with being whipped?
Rehtaeh: nothing.
Johnny: Then why’d you say I was gonna be whipped?!
Rehtaeh: Johnny just never mind….
Johnny: I’M SO CONFUSED!
Taylor Lautner: Me tooooo!
Rehtaeh: YAAAAAAAAAAY EVERYONE IS CONFUZZLED!
Audience: *murmurs* You guys are weird…
Rehtaeh: but sexy.
Audience: WOOT! Sure.
Rehtaeh: baha.
Taylor Lautner Fan Girls: TAYLOR IS SEEEEEEEEEEEXYYYYYYYY!
Rehtaeh: …would you GO AWAY?!
Johnny: Yeah how do you think Taylor’s mom feels about that?
Rehtaeh: …. *tapes Johnny’s mouth shut with leopard print duct tape*
Taylor: I’m 18 now, ya know
Fan girls: DARN IT’S ILLEGAL!
30 Year Old Cougar: Not for meeeeee!
Rehtaeh: LEAVE!
30 year old cougar: you are SOOOO getting bad ratings
Rehtaeh: Not from normal, unannoying, unstupid people.
Taylor: Don’t you mean un normal
Rehtaeh: no! NORMALLLL!
Taylor: Um.
Rehtaeh: I LYKE SODA!
Taylor: you misspelled like.
Rehtaeh: CUZ IM HOT. And I thought this was a show! How do YOU know I spelled it wrong?!
Taylor: The script is right there….
Rehtaeh: we never use the script!
Taylor: …you’re using it right now!
Rehtaeh: ….then how did we already know you were gonna say that?!
Taylor: I’m confused again!
Rehtaeh: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Shelby: …. Poor Taylor.
Rehtaeh: *dances in circles*
Taylor: so…what are we gonna do today?
Rehtaeh: Whatever you feel like doing!
Shelby: you guys were gonna ask him some questions.
Rehtaeh: awe… that’s boring. Ok, anyways, Taylor, what is your favorite ice cream?
Taylor: Cake Batter!
Rehtaeh: OMG THAT STUFF IS SOOOO GOOOOOOD!
Shelby: aha! I already knew that! My step sister told me!
Taylor: who’s your step sister?
Shelby: your wife……….
Taylor: I have a wife?!
Shelby: Yes!
Taylor: Oh, ok.
Rehtaeh: …. *glares at Shelby* shut up.
Shelby: WHAT?! You taped your co hosts mouth shut.
Rehtaeh: shut up. I’ll tape yours shut too.
Shelby: *walks off*
Rehtaeh: that’s what I thought…
Johnny: MMMMMMFFFF!
Rehtaeh: stop it. I’ll beat you with…. *looks around and sees huge arm chair* that chair.
Taylor: um.
Rehtaeh: so anyways… What’s your middle name??
Taylor: ……. Daniel.
Rehtaeh: OMG MINE TOO! No jk.
Taylor: What’s yours?
Rehtaeh: IT’S UNSPEAKABLE….!
DJ: *runs out* It’s Th-
Rehtaeh: *covers his mouth* Bad DJ. Bad. BAD.
DJ: hehehehehehe *wink* that sounds dirty.
Rehtaeh: wooooow. Go away.
DJ: It’s Theresa
Rehtaeh: DAREN JAY ASHBA!!!
DJ: Oh yeah, mine’s Jay by the way.
Johnny: *rips off tape* OW!
Rehtaeh: awe… but it was LEOPARD PRINT!
Johnny: then tape your own mouth!
Rehtaeh: *tapes DJ’s*
DJ: *walks off dancing like a river dancer*
Rehtaeh: … I don’t know him.
Taylor: I don’t either.
Rehtaeh: OMG WE HAVE SOOO MUCH IN COMMON NOT REALLY!
Taylor: OMG!
Johnny: ………. Remember shark boy and lava girl? Thoooose were the good old days…
Rehtaeh: I love that movie.
Johnny: I know me too!
Taylor: I was so young!
Rehtaeh: and so CUUUUUUTE!
Johnny: now you’re all…. Not little. And slightly scary
Rehtaeh: …. HOW is he scary?
Johnny: what if he beats me up?!
Taylor: I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna beat you up.
Rehtaeh: omg Johnny, you’re in a band with MATT SANDERS.
Johnny: That doesn’t mean he’s gonna defend me. And shouldn’t we say M. Shadows?
Rehtaeh: Matt doesn’t beat you up. OR HE BETTER NOT. *glares at camera* Matt, if you beat up my CO HOST I’M GONNA KILL YOU! IF I CAN.
Johnny: It’s M. Shizzle.
Rehtaeh: hehehehehehe. Heeheehehehehee. Ehehehehehe. He’s sexy.
Johnny: ……… um.
Rehtaeh: that was supposed to stay in my head. Sorry.
Taylor: sooooo
Rehtaeh: lemme think of another question.
Taylor: don’t you have like, queue cards or something?
Rehtaeh: …. No. That’s lame. Jason!!!! WHAT WERE OOUUUUUR QUUUUESSSSSSSTIOOOOOOONS?!
Taylor: why’d you sing that?
Rehtaeh: he only understands song.
Taylor: …. Ohhhh???
Jason: *sings* THEEEEY’RE OOOON JOHNNY’S BAAAAAAAAAAACK!
Johnny: WHAT?!
Rehtaeh: Oh yeah, when you were sleeping, Jason and I brainstormed some questions and wrote them on your back….
Johnny: why?!
Shelby: is that why there was writing on his back?
Everyone: *awkward silence and stares at Shelby and Johnny*
Shelby: oh wait, not that I know that!
Rehtaeh: riiiiiiight……. Note to self, wash Johnny’s sheets before going in his room.
Johnny: Tee hee…
Jason: *sings* TV ROOOOOCKS!
Rehtaeh: ……… …… …………… ………. That was lame Jason.
Jason: *sings* but I’m cooool!
Everyone: *laughs hysterically*
Taylor: so what’s the next questions?
Rehtaeh: Do you think you’re sexy?
Taylor: Um….. No…..
Rehtaeh: DAMN IT I WANTED YOU IN MY CLUB. OF SEXY PEOPLE. WHO THINK THEY’RE SEXY.
Johnny: I’m in Shelby’s H-BA
Rehtaeh: …. But you aren’t blonde anymore.
Johnny: yes I am.
Rehtaeh: … I just thought you shaved your head.
Johnny: No, Sixx shaved Sixx Rocks or something like that into my head.
Rehtaeh: ehehehehehehe I love Sixx. He’s funny.
Johnny: I’m telling.
Rehtaeh: … not that kind of love, my dear.
Johnny: ………… *DJ has censored this* YOU!
Taylor: *gasp*
Rehtaeh: YOU *DJ has censored this*
Johnny: *gasp*
Rehtaeh: BWAHAHAHAHA.
Johnny: Well you suck DJ’s *DJ has censored this* And why did DJ censor that when I didn’t even say anything bad?
Rehtaeh: … I don’ know, but I do suck DJ’s *DJ has censored this* DJ stop that!
DJ: *walks over* hehehehehehe
Rehtaeh: I don’t suck THAT part of your body. My love.
DJ: but… what about that one time…
Slash (In audience): *stands up* WHAT?!
DJ: I--- I--- said….. Uh…….. *sprints off*
Slash: I’M GONNA KILL HIM!
Rehtaeh: …but…. He’s my husband. You can’t kill him.
Johnny: SECURITY!!
Max Bemis and Kevin Bacon: Please Slash, sit down, seriously.
Slash: …. NEVERRRR!
Max Bemis and Kevin Bacon: We’ll have to remove you…
Slash: psh, fine… *sits*
Rehtaeh: hehehe
Max and Kevin: Thank you
Rehtaeh: I’VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS DEEDLY DEE
Johnny: …wait, what are we doing?
Rehtaeh: So Taylor…. You got a girlfriend?
Taylor: Apparently I have a wife.
Rehtaeh: oooh we can show you a picture!
Shelby: QUEUE THE SLIDESHOOOOW!
Casper Fuzz: *starts slideshow*
Rehtaeh: IN this picture, you see you and Allison, your wife, on a white horse by a castle.
Taylor: When was this taken?
Rehtaeh: It was taken cougheditedcough last Thursday by my love, Daren.
Shelby: and in THIS picture, you two are on the beach by a lighthouse!
Taylor: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…. When was that taken?
Rehtaeh: again, cougheditedcough by my love Daren, last Thursday!
Taylor: so we went to a castle and a lighthouse… in one day?
Shelby: yeah, you don’t remember? I’m in the background in this one! When we’re at our toga party!
Taylor: When was I in a toga?!
Shelby: Last Thursdaaaaay!
Taylor: I SO don’t remember any of this.
Shelby: Well I do.
Rehtaeh: ………. DJ DOES.
DJ: Yes I doooooo *wink*
Rehtaeh: … I thought you were running from my dad?
DJ: …. Shhh.
Rehtaeh: OMG GUESS WHAT TOMORROW IS?!
DJ: I KNOW! I KNOOOOOOW!
Johnny: Wednesday?
Shelby: Nooooooooo! It’s their anniversary!
DJ: Our TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY! *hugs Rehtaeh*
Audience: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Slash: get away from my daughter!
Rehtaeh: Dad… shut up.
Slash: EXCUSE ME?!
Rehtaeh: yeah, I went there.
Slash: You need counseling.
Rehtaeh: …. I’m already getting counseling.
Slash: … you need MORE counseling.
Rehtaeh: RONNIE NEEDS COUNSELING.
Shelby: hey, let’s not talk about Ronnie when he’s not here.
Rehtaeh: … can we wait till he gets here?
Shelby: he’s not gonna be here!
Rehtaeh: damn. Anyways… DJ…. Don’t do anything on our anniversary. Just don’t.
DJ: So we’re gonna sit the whole day?
Rehtaeh: …. You plan too much. Like, last year…. Oh god, do I even wanna tell you people what he did?!
Audience: ooh ooh we wanna know!
Rehtaeh: …. He flew us to Africa! And went on a safari. Then we went home, changed, then went to Paris and ate some disgusting escargot, then flew to the Russian Tundra, and trekked through the snowy forests, then went home, and ate some spaghetti. Then sat in the hot tub, while listening to Frank Sinatra. …. I don’t even like Frank Sinatra.
Everyone: *gasp*
Rehtaeh: … ok a little bit… but… still! He plans too much stuff…
Shelby: I thought it was romantic and cute!
DJ: Me too!
Rehtaeh: …but a lot of money. You waste enough as it is!
DJ: It’s all worth it!
Taylor: awe!
Rehtaeh: ………. You people are crazy.
Everyone: *stares at Rehtaeh*
Rehtaeh: ….maybe it’s me.
Slash: Yeah it’s you.
Rehtaeh: Oh, thanks Dad. I know when I’m not wanted!
Slash: *gasp*
DJ: *gasp*
Shelby: I LOVE JOHNNY! *hugs Johnny*
Rehtaeh: ok that was random.
Shelby: Sorry, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Rehtaeh: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Shelby: and by it, I mean broccoli.
Rehtaeh: Now I want broccoli.
Shelby: steamed broccoli. Yuuuuuummy!
Rehtaeh: ikr?!
DJ: ewww vegetables are grody!
Rehtaeh: …. DJ, we go through this every night. And I always end up sitting on you and force feeding you vegetables.
DJ: hehe.
Shelby: He’s weird. You know that right?
Rehtaeh: yes. Yes I do.
Taylor: …. I like broccoli.
Rehtaeh: we know Taylor, we know.
Johnny: I would’ve thought you only liked raw red meat. and muscle milk.
Rehtaeh: You mean muscle breast milk?
Johnny: what?!
Rehtaeh: on aim my friend was talking about I-
Johnny: shut up.
Rehtaeh: it, and she was trying to type muscle beast, but
Johnny: I don’t care!
Rehtaeh: typed muscle breast milk instead.
Johnny: …. Cause we care so much.
Rehtaeh: but it was FUNNY
Johnny: oh yes, so funny, breast.
Rehtaeh: I was thinking like a muscley dude was trying and failing to breast feed a baby.
Johnny: Oh yes, breast feeding. So hilarious.
Rehtaeh: …. I was picturing Matt.
Johnny: Oh yes, that makes it even more funny.
Rehtaeh: I thought it did…. *hits Johnny*
Johnny: thanks.
Rehtaeh: MUAHAHAHAHA.
Taylor: why would a muscley guy be breast feeding a baby?
Rehtaeh: I don’t know.
Johnny: can we change the subject?! This is so, just, NO!
Rehtaeh: …. We all know you like man boobs Johnny, I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.
Johnny: I thought we were talking about muscley guys, not fat guys.
Rehtaeh: Johnny….. You’re stupid.
Johnny: thanks.
Shelby: call him stupid one more time, Rehtaeh!
Rehtaeh: ….Johnny you’re stupid.
Shelby: *picks up 30 year old cougar and throws her at Rehtaeh*
Rehtaeh: you can’t lift that.
Shelby: well I just did and I just threw her at you.
Rehtaeh: …. *moves*
30 year old cougar: *lands on Johnny*
Jason: wha wha whaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
Johnny: ow!
Rehtaeh: oops. Sorry Johnny.
Johnny: psh
Rehtaeh: …………… I think I’m gonna go make out with DJ.
Shelby: this is straight, I’m leaving.
Rehtaeh: … THIS IS CHICKEN! ….
Shelby: excuse me?!
Rehtaeh: …idk. It’s more… JOHNNY.
Johnny: what?!
Shelby: Johnny’s not straight
Johnny: I’m not?! Yes I am!
Rehtaeh: BAHA!
Shelby: this is still straight, we’re leaving! *grabs Johnny and stomps out*
Rehtaeh: well then…
Slash: hurry up, you gotta go to therapy.
Rehtaeh: … like I’m going.
Slash: oh you are.
Rehtaeh: *hides behind Taylor and DJ*
Taylor: *awkward silence* this is weird now. *walks off*
Rehtaeh: *hides behind DJ*
DJ: I’m so skinny though!
Rehtaeh: I’m so…. Idk!
Slash: um.
Rehtaeh: well… I’m gonna go since my co host is probably getting some action right now.
Johnny: I can hear you and no I’m noooot!
Jason: Whaaa Wha whaaaaa!
Johnny: would you stop that?!
Rehtaeh: hehehe he’s getting action….. Hehe.
DJ: …lucky.
Slash: *glare*
DJ: ….uh.
Rehtaeh: well, he IS getting lucky.
DJ: that’s not what I meant!
Rehtaeh: I know what you meant, I’m not stupid. Sometimes.
DJ: I think you’re perrrrrrrrfeeeeeeeect.
Rehtaeh: ….. I’m leaving. Before DJ starts… being creepy. Er. Than normal. BYYYYYE! *waves and drinks monster*
DJ: AHH!
Jason: *sings* can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky
Shelby: JASON NO.
Jason: *barks* *sings* I’M A DOOOOGGY!
Rehtaeh: ….. Um. Bye.
*show ends*